Several hundred years ago, when people lived in large families of several generations, there was no need for women to work. All the time and energy for raising children and household. Now there is an average of one or two children per family, various household appliances have made household chores easier, and women have a desire to work.

Who can afford not to work

The release of a woman from work is directly related to the financial situation in the family. Based on this, two types of non-working women can be distinguished.

A housewife woman can afford not to work if a man is able to take all the financial worries on himself, fully providing for his family. Some husbands in such situations are even categorically against the work of their wife. What could be more beautiful than a ready-made breakfast early in the morning, a hot lunch on the table during a work break, order in the house and happy children with whom they played and walked?

The princess girl, living with a wealthy man, does not even want to think about work. Her duties include personal care and maintenance of beauty in order to please the other half with her appearance. If a man is satisfied with this state of affairs - why not.

Who needs to work

A business woman or business lady cannot live even if her husband is well off. Work for her is like air, without which she suffocates and languishes in the four walls of her house. As a rule, such women achieve good career advancement and do not want to hear even hints of leaving their jobs.

A single mother, unfortunately, cannot afford to stay at home, because she is not only a mother and educator, but also the only breadwinner in the family. Although you can find work at home or part-time.

Some women go to work so that they are not financially dependent on a man and do not ask for money for their own needs: shopping, recreation, entertainment.

There is no single answer to the question: should a woman work. This is influenced by factors such as marital and financial status, the desire of a woman, her values. In any case, work should not be in the first place for a woman, there should not be a choice: family or work. After all, she is first and foremost a wife and mother, and only then an employee.

A working woman in our society is considered the norm. And “sitting” at home (if we are not talking about mums on maternity leave) evokes a whole range of emotions in the vast majority of people: bewilderment, pity, contempt ... Depending on the upbringing of a person, he will either think to himself: “How can this be?”, or he will directly ask the housewife questions of interest to him: “Are you bored at home? Or just can't find a job? Let me help!". Moreover, someone else's "doing nothing" sincerely outrages not only men, but also working women. And yet, why are some housewives completely unwilling to go to work, "like all normal people"? Laziness, lack of ability, poor communication skills - or is it something completely different? Today we will talk about whether a married woman should work and bring money to the family on an equal basis with her husband.

Why do women work?

The percentage of working women in Russia is quite high, although lower than the employment rate among men: according to Rosstat data for 2013, 59.8% of women aged 15-72 years are employed in Russia (for comparison, for men this figure is 70, 4%). An interesting fact: 63% of working women and only 49% of men have a higher or secondary specialized education.

Women's employment is mainly associated with the public sector - teachers, doctors, social workers, employees of public utilities. As you know, the salaries of state employees are significantly lower than those of workers in other industries. As for leading positions in Russia, 28% of them are held by women. Basically, these are school directors, chief doctors of hospitals and clinics, heads of small and medium-sized businesses. There are only a few women in the highest government positions and in big business.

As you can see, the positions of the “weaker” sex in the professional sphere, although they did not completely equal those of men, nevertheless changed significantly in the 20th and 11th centuries. Today's women are educated and acquiring advanced degrees, pursuing careers or building their own businesses. Success in the business and social spheres for most of us - both men and women - is of great importance. This was not the case in Soviet times, when the desire for personal success was considered a negative phenomenon. Now it has become the norm.

The change in women's role in society is sometimes even called the "quiet revolution of the 20th century." A new type of women appeared: active, independent, purposeful. They do not dream of marrying a wealthy man, doing housework, having children and living in complete comfort. “Emancipated” women usually belong to the middle class and have a clear life model: first you need to get an education, then “get on your feet” and only then can you afford to have a baby and devote yourself to your family for a while. A common situation among career-oriented girls is "civil" or "trial" marriages. Such cohabitation ends either with a real marriage, or with the separation of partners.

Personal achievements and a career for a woman are now considered no less important than the role of a wife and mother. However, loneliness, difficulties in distributing time between work and family, and dissatisfaction with marriage have become frequent women's problems. Yes, people have changed, but the ideal family model does not exist. It is difficult for women, and for many men, to admit that a wife cannot be both a brilliant careerist and a successful business woman and at the same time carry the entire household and childcare on her fragile shoulders.

Until 1991, only 5% of women spoke about their desire to be a housewife, if the husband can adequately provide for the family. After the collapse of the USSR, the number of women willing to “stay at home” increased first to 30 percent and then to 40 percent. But this happened simultaneously with the popularization of the concept of personal success. Therefore, young girls strive for education, self-realization and development, and even those who verbally dream of a “career” as a housewife often begin to think about returning to work at the beginning of maternity leave. There is a direct contradiction in the minds of the current generation of women.

And yet, why should a woman work? Why, even with the financial opportunity to be at home, especially with children, do women get settled or return to work?

• Making money . This reason is called not only single mothers, widows, wives of the disabled or temporarily disabled men. The bulk of women who work for money are the wives of men who work and earn. Another question is that the financial needs of a modern family are endless: an apartment, a car, clothes, phones and gadgets, books and toys for children, visits to developing studios and sections for them. Many people live on credit. It is believed that a man alone simply cannot provide for his family, and a wife “sitting on his neck” is nothing more than an egoist.
• “Everyone is working, and I have to. How can you not work at all? . This reason is a legacy of the Soviet (especially post-war) period. Girls know: it is necessary to work, even from their mothers. And women whose children have already grown up simply cannot imagine a different life. What to do at home? And besides, they already have a decent work experience, and it seems silly not to complete it until retirement.
• Sincere love for your work . If a woman is truly passionate about her work - excellent! This gives her the opportunity to feel realized in all respects, and not just "pull the strap" at work, returning from there tired and annoyed. And yet the main thing in this case is that the value of even the most beloved business does not outweigh the importance of the family.
• Bored and uninteresting to stay at home , a feeling of "degradation" in the role of a housewife. A modern woman lives from childhood in a completely different pace and conditions than her predecessors in the recent past. Few people take housewives seriously. Most people have in their heads a certain image of a “real” woman who “will stop a galloping horse and enter a burning hut” ... We have lost a culture in which the wife and mother are the keeper of the hearth, and we have not developed a new one. Therefore, it can be very difficult for women who find themselves in the role of a housewife for a while (usually on parental leave) to adjust to a new lifestyle. It seems to them that they are missing the “real”, interesting and important, and longingly waiting for the opportunity to finally return to their usual activities. Even a job that is not too much loved seems more enjoyable than a home routine.
• “We have to work just in case. Little is it" . Under "every" case most often refers to a divorce from a spouse. It is believed that the husband is a variable, and judging by the divorce statistics, this view seems to be justified. However, are we confusing cause and effect? Our thoughts materialize, and constant doubt about family well-being can lead to disastrous consequences.
• To receive a pension . Well, and this is the reason. Even though it sounds a little sad.

Should a woman work: the opinion of men and women themselves

Our society consists of a variety of people, and it is impossible to say which model of family relations from the following is unequivocally socially approved:

• well-earning husband and housewife wife;
• a family in which both men and women earn;
• a husband is a “provider” and a wife who does what she loves, but not for the sake of money, but for the soul.

Usually the question is: “Does a woman need to work?” at first it causes a kind of stupor in people. After all, there is something for a smart person to think about.

According to SuperJob.ru portal statistics for 2010, 54% of Russians are sure that a working woman can also be an excellent wife and caring mother. 44% of men and 62% of women are convinced that a woman needs work. “The family is not the slavery of a woman, but a partnership,” the ladies comment. 34% of respondents are sure that emancipation harms family life. It is indicative that there are more male opponents of female labor - 43% against 27% among women. “Violation of the laws of nature” emancipation is called mainly by men of the older generation (62%) and earning more than 45,000 rubles. per month (48%).

Here are a number of statements about the role of women in the family, found on Internet forums. Men first:

“A wife should take care of the house and children”. Victor, 33

“A woman should work if she loves her profession. A man has to work for money.". Vladimir, 33

“A woman must work at least part-time, otherwise she will go crazy with idleness”. Oleg, 44

“Both should work. A common contribution to one thing is a family”. Gregory, 43

“Most smart men get bored with housewives over time, because apart from children and TV shows they have nothing to talk about”. Lev, 33

“Ideally, a man should provide for his family, but centuries of practice have shown that the average man cannot achieve this ideal”. Eugene, 39

“If he wants to, let him work. No - and not necessarily. Igor, 52

“It is better for a woman to work - it keeps her in good shape. But in "free" work - creative or educational. And not 8 hours a day.”. Sergey, 53

The same diverse opinions can be seen in the comments of women:

“A woman must work anyway. It doesn't matter if she has a child or not. Otherwise, she will simply become numb from useless sitting at home! And it doesn’t matter what kind of job it is, in the office or part-time work at home. ”. Julia

“If there is an opportunity and the husband does not mind, then the woman herself can decide how exactly she should work and whether she should work at all. The main thing is not to go down, not to turn into a free housemaid ". Alena, 42

“By and large, probably, no one owes anything to anyone, just everyone decides for himself how comfortable he is, and God forbid that there is this choice, and you don’t have to force yourself to work if you don’t want to, and vice versa”. Lydia

"Children and careers are incompatible". Maria, 31

“Every family is different. If a husband fully provides for his wife and children, then the wife does not have to work. Only if she wants to! But if there are financial problems and you don’t need to be on maternity leave, a woman can work!”. Irina

“For me personally, the pleasure of having my own money can hardly be replaced by the pleasure of sleeping a little longer. Sitting at home with children (I don’t mean babies) is hard work, very hard and responsible. Work at work is much easier, it also pays money”. Catherine

“A husband can get hit by a tram or go to another. And then what? I do not understand people who voluntarily fall into dependence on another person. It's scary!". G., 33 years old

“If a man does not support a family, then he is not a man”. Julia

As you can see, both men and women themselves have very different views on whether a woman should work. It is impossible to say which choice is right - to be a housewife or still a working woman. Each of the points of view expressed has the right to exist. Ideally, families should be created by people who think the same way, in particular, on the topic of women's employment. Then there will be no conflicts related to the desire / unwillingness of a woman to work, while her husband does not understand her needs.

Should a woman work: psychological aspects

The question of whether a woman needs to work usually arises among those representatives of the weaker sex who work, but treat their own workplace without much enthusiasm, feel tired and exhausted after work, and believe that work prevents them from taking care of their families. If at the same time a woman receives a high salary, this fact, to be honest, somewhat brightens up the negative aspects of “work at work”. However, in some families, the wife's income is not a significant share of the family budget, and the husband, in principle, is not opposed to the wife not working. There are also men who insistently urge their wives to settle at home. Especially if the family has a child or several children. And a woman, on the contrary, is eager for labor exploits, she is bored or hard at home.

Consider a standard situation: both spouses are alive and well and are not in any extreme situations (such as urgently raising money for the treatment of a relative or repaying a recklessly taken loan with huge interest). The husband works, and the family already has children. Is it possible for a woman not to work in such a situation?

Instead of loud statements, imagine the standard daily routine of a working woman. In the morning, she needs to wake everyone up, feed, “distribute” the children to kindergartens and schools, and get to work on time herself. Then - a standard 8-hour working day with a lunch break, during which some especially diligent ladies also have time to work. The evening of a working woman is the most interesting. After work, hurry home, through the store where you need to buy groceries, and, perhaps, through the kindergarten to pick up the children. It is good if the husband takes over some of these actions. But at home, everyone will expect dinner from mom, and the woman has to quickly cook something simple or warm up yesterday. After dinner - communication with children, urgent household chores and ... complete exhaustion. When the children fall asleep, the husband, most likely, will demand the fulfillment of marital duty, and the wife probably does not have the strength and desire at all. She either refuses, receiving accusations and reproaches in response, or agrees, but there is no talk of any sincerity in manifestations of love. And the next day everything repeats. Fortunately, the woman has two days off. But they are usually spent on urgent household chores.

Women are amazing creatures. They are gentle and sensitive, emotionally perceive everything that happens to them. It is difficult for a woman to constantly overcome obstacles, move from one set goal to another - her psyche is depleted under such conditions (while such conditions are even useful for a man, he “hardens”, gets stronger). But the innate tendency to self-sacrifice, patience and, moreover, fierce competition in the labor market does not allow a woman to complain.

Whatever changes take place in the world, the female essence does not change. Women have a different type of thinking and mental reactions than men. It is easier for a woman to do quiet work that does not require “jerk” efforts, she can easily keep track of many processes that are happening simultaneously, and has excellent organizational skills. This is not given to men: they are more direct, dynamic and focus on one action performed.

If a woman spends most of the day at work, makes a career and works mainly because of money, her psyche has to readjust to the "male" type of mental reactions. As a result, a woman becomes an excellent "workhorse", she may well become very successful, but inevitably loses her femininity and the ability to give warmth to loved ones. That is why a woman should not work like an ox if she wants to keep her feminine essence.

Should a woman work in terms of history and religion?

In search of an answer, should a woman work or be a housewife, one can turn to historical facts.

There has never been equality between men and women. When primitive society moved to the stage of hunting and gathering, the male role was reduced to the development of new territories in search of wild animals, shepherd's work. Women, on the other hand, looked after the cultivation of wild cereals, they looked after the children and were tied to one place. Their place in society was higher than the place of men - that was the time of matriarchy.

With the advent of property rights, men occupied a dominant position in the clan. From that time until the late Middle Ages, women had lesser rights than men, they were always "with their husband." They ran the household or helped their husbands with their work. Women's labor activity was mainly related to the house and childcare, but the poorest usually had to work, regardless of gender.

The change in the role of women in society is associated with the beginning of industrial revolutions, the emergence of feminism and the so-called emancipation. The USSR became one of the first countries to legislate gender equality (in 1917). Women were henceforth granted equal rights with men to "receive education and vocational training, in labor, in remuneration for it and promotion at work, in socio-political and cultural activities<…>". It was supposed to create conditions "allowing women combine work with motherhood ". In other countries, the legislative consolidation of "equal rights of the sexes" took place at about the same time (the beginning of the 20th century).

It must be understood that emancipation was not aimed at real equalization of women in rights with men. Yes, women were dissatisfied with their position, but they hardly dreamed of falling into the bondage of hired work. Look what we have now. A woman gives birth and raises children (and they need to be born on time, age does not wait), seeks to get an education and earn on an equal basis with a man, and also does housework. Mothers inspire their daughters from childhood: “It is necessary to work! Today there is a husband, tomorrow there is no ... ". The current situation is very convenient for men: women serve them, earn money, and even dream of getting married in order to get into this “slavery”.

The System, which has received many new workers, also feels great. Yes, in the war and post-war times, it was impossible to do without it, but now the war is over ... In addition, women, due to established attitudes, can be paid less than men. Do you still think that feminism and emancipation were necessary for women?

Let's see what religion says about the female role in the family.

In Orthodoxy, an example for all women to follow is described in the Bible (Proverbs 31: 10-31):

“Who can find a virtuous wife? its price is higher than pearls .... He extracts wool and flax, and willingly works with his own hands. She, like merchant ships, gets her bread from afar. She gets up still at night and distributes food in her house and her serving maidens. She thinks about the field, and acquires it; from the fruits of her hands she plants a vineyard... She feels that her occupation is good, and her lamp does not go out even at night. She stretches out her hands to the spinning wheel, and her fingers take hold of the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor, and gives her hand to the needy. She is not afraid of the cold for her family, because her whole family is dressed in double clothes. She makes her own carpets; fine linen and purple are her clothes... She makes coverlets and sells them, and delivers belts to the Phoenician merchants... She watches over the household in her house and does not eat the bread of idleness.”

As you can see, the Bible calls women's work agriculture, control of the life of the whole house, needlework. We are not talking about idleness, God does not encourage idleness, either men or women. However, we are not talking about hired labor in someone else's house.

Let us also consider how the answer to the question of whether a woman should work is given in Islam.

The Quran clearly states:

“Men are guardians of women because Allah has given some of them an advantage over others and because they spend from their wealth.”

This is not to say that according to Islam, women are forbidden to work. BUT! A woman's duty is to be a mother and a wife. A woman is not obliged to work, she was created by Allah for another. The husband must provide for the family, work, even if the wife is rich. A woman, if desired or necessary, can work, but subject to a number of conditions: to have the consent of her husband, hide her body, behave chastely, and not be alone with an outsider in the room.

A woman... shouldn't work?

If a woman does not want to work, but strives to devote herself completely to her family and children, they usually look askance at her. And this despite the fact that the question of whether a married woman should work in principle still remains unanswered. On the one hand, it is very difficult to maintain femininity and inner harmony in a constant race for money, career and success. Giving strength to work, we inevitably lack something for the family. And on the other hand, there are modern realities that you can’t get away from: a common family model (both spouses work, children are in nurseries, kindergartens, schools at that time), financial difficulties, the “habit” of women to work, even if it is for them don't like it too much.

A housewife is a rare phenomenon in our times. Why don't these women want to work? Perhaps they understand that the most important worries are already on their shoulders - creating comfort, cooking (with love, and not in a fuss), taking care of children and other truly feminine things. Believing your husband and inspiring him is also worth a lot. Of course, the real Mistress of the House is not the woman who sends everyone to “work places” in the morning, but she herself sits all day in Odnoklassniki.

A true housewife doesn't just work from home; her work is necessarily supplemented by her personal development, hobbies and hobbies. And if they began to generate income - great! So, this wise woman managed to combine everything.

It is impossible to say unequivocally whether a woman should work or whether she should make a choice in favor of a family. Any unequivocal answer to this question can be challenged. Let's put it this way: all people, including women, should - first of all, themselves - be happy. For most women, the main component of happiness is still family. Do not forget about this in the pursuit of other values. And what about the work? It's great if it exists and really brings joy without taking your time from loved ones. And if not, maybe it's time to make a change?

In this article, we will talk about women who work (or want to work), strive to earn money (extract resources) and how all this affects them. Also, I will tell you how things are on this whole topic in high-ranking unions (between a man and a woman).

For those who don't know, a woman's strength is her femininity! It is a fact!

And a feminine woman does not strive to WORK and EARN MONEY, to be cooler than her man, to be taller than him, to dominate him, to reach greater heights than the man himself, etc. and so on. it's all meaningless for a truly feminine woman. Its strength and purpose lies elsewhere!

And she knows about it and even drags herself (gets high). For a feminine woman, the source of resources (including money) is a man. A worthy high-ranking man = is responsible for the money. He provides, feeds, clothes, protects, etc. and so on. all responsibility (financially) lies with the man!

This is what happens in a patriarchal family. And with a worthy man = it cannot be otherwise!

At the same time, the woman sincerely rejoices and praises her man for his achievements, masculinity, success, etc. she relaxes him, restores, gives pleasure and INSPIRES / MOTIVATES him to even greater achievements (peaks).

That's why, with a truly feminine woman - incredibly successful men. Because in many ways, a woman contributes to this, you know? And as a result, the man himself, for the sake of such a woman, just wants to turn mountains and turn - to be the best, successful, etc. and so on…

That is, next to a feminine woman - everyone performs their natural natural functions. A man is a getter - he extracts resources, and a woman uses these resources. By the way, this is a natural process. That's how evolution works. The feminine woman herself does not produce resources ...

Why hey mine something? There is a man next to her. Getter. Who gets everything. First of all, it's about grandmothers. Now, in our world, almost everything is possible for them (to feed, clothe, protect, etc., etc.) and, accordingly, why else would a woman do this garbage? For what? What is the point?

Why would a man who has money = more money from a woman? And vice versa. All this is not only meaningless, but also harmful for a woman. If a woman performs the function of a man (mining), she will lose her femininity, her incredible strength, and hey, this is not profitable.

Because the strength of a woman is femininity! This is a real statement of fact!

A man needs a woman. Not a man. Or a woman is a man. Hybrid. Need a woman! Feminine woman. There are many beautiful women. Feminine - units. And the fittest young lady wins (in natural selection). In the next issue, I will tell you about it! And while you read...

About career, work and women... Strong, independent...

A woman who is THINKING ABOUT where to get money, how to feed herself, her family, children = cannot be FEMININE! Because she plays the role of a man. The function of a man

Accordingly, in this situation, he loses himself as a woman, his femininity and becomes a man. Because it performs a male role (function). Modern women (most of them) are women hybrids in which femininity = is not and cannot be. Because they are engaged in unnatural actions (process). Perform male functions (role).

We, men, are the breadwinners. We are extracting resources. In the entire history of human development, a man has been and is a PRODUCER (men extract resources). The woman (biologically) uses the extracted resources by the man. That's how evolution works.

But, as you can see, in the modern world, many women have malfunctions, viruses, cockroaches in their heads. Rushing to work. This has already become the norm. I want to be strong independent of you. What it is? It's a virus.

This already, right off the bat, suggests that there will be problems in relations with this woman. That she is not highly ranked. But the young ladies do not understand this. I want to work. I want want. Be strong. Independent.

Slave low-ranking thinking. To work… high-ranking individuals do not work, they are not slaves. These are low-medium ranks - they work. They work. Work from the word - slave. Okay, that's not the topic...

I understand that a woman is a person (personality). I'm not saying that you, dear, should sit at home for days, cook borscht and vacuum)) be a stupid housewife. No. Do not misunderstand, I am not one of those wretched people who divide the world into black and white = you have your own life, your own affairs, plans, dreams, ideas, ideas, friends, hobbies, entertainment, activities, hobbies, etc. and so on.

But, your primary female components are yourself, a man, a house and a family. If you can’t cope with these paramount (with your natural, natural functions (roles)), where else can you do something there? Rock the boat? Where? There will only be problems! In a relationship!

Grandmas = you shouldn't worry at all. AT ALL! If you want to do something = do, but for your own pleasure, what brings you happiness and what will not destroy the primary components. Grandmas = this is a function of the MAN. There are no problems with a decent (high-ranking) one. He will take care of everything.

Or here's another, one of the reasons why women work... Because their men are WOMANS WITH EGGS BETWEEN THE LEGS = who cannot fully perform their natural functions. Accordingly, they cannot allow their women to be happy and feminine.

But, dear, this means that you are low-ranking and you are surrounded by, respectively, the same males ... therefore, it’s not worth shifting the responsibility to the men, the problem is in you!

The main task of a woman is to find and lasso a high-ranking worthy man. The right man. Who understands all this, what I'm telling, here and now. Which quality fulfills its role (function) is a good earner. Etc. and so on. but it is so hard. Because the vast majority of men are low-medium rank. And they have everything in their ass.

With a high ranking, you, a woman, win in natural selection, you survive in the evolutionary race, because next to you is the main resource in your life - a worthy man.

Because it is a worthy man who will provide, protect, help, protect, feed, dress, etc. and so on. you and offspring. But in order for you to succeed, you must be a high-ranking, worthy woman yourself. For everyone gets exactly what = who he himself is and he himself deserves.

And as I said earlier, a feminine woman understands all this. She understands that her strength and purpose lie elsewhere. Feminine woman - can do what she likes, gives pleasure, buzz, happiness, but does not forget about the main (about the main primary roles (functions). The main primary roles (functions) are in the first place. They are most important. They are important to so that the relationship does not fall apart and be strong, happy and durable.

The answer to the mega-popular question...

What happens if a man leaves me? What should I do next? How to live? A? Author. This is one of the most popular questions. The fact is that the vast majority of women (and men in principle) are low-medium rank. And this question, just from LOW RANKING women.

Because worthy high-ranking women = do not ask such stupid questions. This is not even in my thoughts, because - worthy high-ranking women know and are able to "keep" their men. Although, in fact, they do not hold them back - men themselves want to be with them 🙂

And now the reverse side of the coin (consider this) ...

Girls, girls and women \u003d who have never worked at all in their lives \u003d but live at someone's expense, for example, mom, dad, etc., or there is a daddy (they have a mutual exchange, she cracks him, and hey grandmothers) and so on. - they, these young ladies = do not know the value of labor, money. And with such a young lady = it is IMPOSSIBLE to build a relationship!

But it is impossible because these young ladies will not be able to appreciate what a man will do for them. Because she does not know what it is to earn money, what is WORK, working. Understand? She lives on everything ready, mom and dad = give everything hey. In God's bosom. Or there daddy gives everything. The essence does not change.

No matter how hard a man tries, he goes out of his way = she won’t appreciate a damn thing. No shit. At all. Because she doesn’t know the value of labor and money, or even worse, she GOT GOOD….

You feed her, give her water, dress her, all the responsibility is on you, etc. and so on. but she doesn't appreciate it. Hey, you buy gifts, make surprises, somehow invest, try, etc. and so on. = it all costs decent money, takes time, etc. resources = but, she does not appreciate it at all. Zero to weight.

And he does not appreciate because he does not know the value of labor (money). If she knew what labor is, she works, works, earns money = she would appreciate everything. And so, this individual is used to the fact that hey everyone gives (but she does nothing), and she lives at someone's expense, she is fed, sung, dressed, mom-dad, etc. or these big boys, daddies, hey, they make gifts, iPhones, jewelry, cars, lots of flowers, etc. and so on. and she BURNED!

God forbid building relationships with such an individual. Have fun once again = yes, for God's sake, if you want. But, seriously, something with such an individual \u003d God forbid you, you will do worse to yourself. Take my word for it.

Therefore, girl, you must go through this too = in order to know the value of labor (money). This is just as important! Otherwise = there will be no relationship in principle, there will be real meat, it will be very bad in relationships, and take my word for it, not one worthy high-ranking man = will not tolerate you. 100% guarantee!

A girl / woman who knows the value of labor (money) = will appreciate a man!

It cannot be otherwise. She will appreciate a man for everything. For the fact that he feeds her, dresses her, protects her, tries for her sake, invests in her, etc. and so on. no other way. 100% guarantee.

Well, look. An example for you (on gifts). If a girl used to receive 100-200 dollars a month (working all day), and you took and made a gift for this amount = yes, yo-mae, she will be happy to heaven, she will appreciate it, very highly, maybe even burst into tears )) unlike all those who do not know the price of labor! She will appreciate even a small bouquet of flowers, especially if you also serve it correctly (cause emotions). And so, for those individuals who have lived and live all their lives at someone's expense, or generally squandered dolls (who do not know the value of labor, money) - give them at least a million roses = zero sense.

I am adding these lines (initially, in the article = I forgot about it, and published it without - this is my cant).

But, friend, do not repeat the mistakes of others. If you are reading this. Upgrade (develop) yourself to a high-ranking level (start from here) and look for yourself the same worthy woman. Good luck!

Regards, administrator.

In the modern world, this question pops up very often. Does a woman need to work, where to work, how to work, who to work?

According to the Vedas, a woman was not supposed to work at all. Several thousand years ago - and even remember the times of a hundred years ago - a woman was engaged only in the house. She gave birth to children, raised them, arranged a life, was engaged in needlework and inspired her husband to exploits. Times have changed a lot now. Due to material changes, the woman stopped giving birth as much as before. On the one hand, this is due to the fact that there is not much money, time and health. You can't build a house that easily - you have to buy it. And to buy - you need to work. And so on.

But on the other hand, it turns out a small inconsistency. The fact is that the Lord gave a woman a lot of energy to continue the human race, so that she would have the strength to raise children and communicate with her husband. And now, when women give birth a little, a lot of this energy remains unclaimed.

One way or another, for almost every woman in the modern world, the question of self-realization arises. A woman has great potential left unused, she wants to be realized. And how to deal with it?

Why was it different before?

Because there were many children, the family was large, there were many chores, housekeeping. The woman was both the director of the kindergarten, and the educator, and the nanny, and the cook, and the teacher, and the director of the elementary school, high school, and supply manager. That is, she combined a lot of all sorts of positions, and she did not have the feeling that she was not realized. She needed to know a lot and be able to cope with such a large team, build relationships within the family.

In addition, earlier families did not live separately, as they do now, but together, in one house. That is, there were her husband's parents, her parents, siblings, nephews, grandparents right there. Relationships in this whole team were built by a woman. That is, she had enough work at home. Therefore, she did not have the feeling that she was a freeloader of no use to anyone, crawling and doing nothing.

Now everything is different. Many have one child, two, or no children at all. In this situation, a woman (especially if the children go to kindergarten and school) really has nowhere to put herself. A lot of energy that was intended for nurturing and building relationships remains unclaimed. And the woman feels her unfulfillment.

There is a feeling that she could do a lot of things, can do a lot of things or could be able to, but does nothing. Then the woman goes to work.

Although, of course, women go to work even earlier - when mom, grandmother say, "You should not depend on this comrade and you should be independent." But we are now talking about the situation when a woman is already an adult, married and with children.

A woman goes to work, and it turns out that she no longer has so much strength and opportunity to fulfill her feminine duties. That is, if she sits at home, then she feels unfulfilled. If she goes to work - a full day, plus a round trip, then she feels completely exhausted. Because after work she runs to pick up the child from the kindergarten, quickly prepares dinner for her husband, cleans the house, irons shirts. And completely exhausted.

On the one hand, it is being implemented, but on the other hand, there is no energy for household. And how do you find that balance?

There is an exit.

For our time, there is one correction that the doctor gives. He says that if a woman manages to do everything at home, everything is done at home, everyone is happy, then she can go to work. Let me remind you that we are now talking more about a married woman. But there are a number of conditions that should be adhered to so that everything is harmonious.

1. It is desirable that your work took you no more than 4 hours a day. Because you still have time to do a lot of things at home and at the same time it is better to do it without any fuss. Calmly come, cook dinner with the soul, without rushing anywhere, relax to pick up the child from the kindergarten, if he goes there. Calmly help the student do his homework. Just take time for yourself, lie in the bath and do masks, procedures, read, think, dream.

The most ideal option is when your work takes you no more than 4 hours a day. Even better, if the schedule is so flexible and free that you can decide for yourself what four or five hours you will devote to it. Is it more convenient for you to do it today in the morning, or is it more convenient for you to do it in the evening and so on.

2. For a woman, work should not be in the first place. If she suddenly becomes the number one priority, then family life will suffer greatly from this. Therefore, if you still go to work, then you understand that this is not the most important thing in your life, but this is some kind of addition. And if there is a conflict of work and personal interests, then you can make a choice in favor of the family. For example, the boss decides to transfer you to a ten-hour day, and you easily refuse him. Because family comes first.

3. It is important that your work was related to communication. And it is better if this communication will be with other women, and those who are close to you in spirit. This is the ideal option. Therefore, for many young mothers, now the best profession is becoming a breastfeeding specialist. When one mom goes to visit other moms and tells them how to improve the process of breastfeeding. Some mothers sew their own slings and sell them. And this is also good - a free schedule, communication with like-minded people. There are actually a lot of options, there would be a desire.

Many probably remember Soviet films, where secretaries walk and drink tea all day long. Here and there. He will chat in one department, then in another. This is how a woman creates an atmosphere in the workplace, in the team.

And in fact, a real woman is paid money for this. That is, not because she shifts papers from place to place, but for creating an atmosphere in the team. For this, she can be forgiven a lot. They can even give her someone to help, who will shift the papers for her while she creates an atmosphere - that is, she drinks tea in different rooms.

4. And this is the most important thing, what I want to tell you about work, where should a woman work? As the doctor says, a woman should work where she likes today. There are two keywords here - Today" And " like". That is, “I like it”, of course - the more you love what you do, the more you realize creativity in it, your inner world, the better it is for you. If you do it with joy, you do not need to torture yourself and force yourself. It gives you more energy, it gives you more options.

And the second word is "today". It's about natural female variability. We are not like men. Men can work in one place for 50 years, do the same thing, it will be a pleasure for them. They will improve the process, grow professionally. For example, my father-in-law has only one entry in his work book. As I got a job many, many years ago at the plant, I worked there all my life. Grew up the career ladder, professionally. He was the best employee of the enterprise, hung on the boards of honor. He did not change the field of activity and believes that this is useless to him.

Women are a little different. Today she may like to be an accountant, tomorrow she will like to be a nail technician, the day after tomorrow she may want to be a kindergarten teacher, and so on. We have such a quality - the variability of mood, tastes, priorities.

Therefore, it often happens that a woman, even if she chooses a university herself and studies there for five years, by the time she graduates, she definitely understands that she does not want to work there. That there is no point in this, that she does not like it and hates it, and so on. I'm not saying that higher education is not necessary. Although I can tell you that women have a lot of problems in life because of higher education. Just from the fact that we get it. And if we get more than one, then this greatly affects our feminine nature. But more about that another time.

Let's get back to work. If you want to be a lawyer today, try it. In a year you want to become a seller - try it. Do not try to force yourself to “work out a diploma”, “recapture the years spent at the institute”. It's hard labor, pure water.

So let's recap.

What should be the job? The ideal job, let me remind you again, is employment 4 hours a day, free schedule, communication with people, women. To be able to drink tea, talk.

If you have a job now, and you understand that it does not have these characteristics. It completely exhausts you, you do what you do not like, it lasts seven days a week and for ten hours. Then you have two options.

Or you just stop doing it, and give yourself some time to realize what you would like. If you have such an opportunity, if your husband agrees that you should not work for some time, you can test this regimen.

Or you can try the second option - behave differently at your current workplace. At first, of course, everyone will be shocked, especially if you were the perfect employee who, from call to call, does everything that is needed. And then suddenly you took time off early, then during working hours you went to another department to drink gulls, and so on. Some pies began to be worn to work.

Maybe many will be surprised, and for a while you will meet with resistance. I have such examples when girls say:
“I used to work like this and plow, and no one cared before. My attitude was not the best. And when I started behaving like a woman at work, not only did they cut my working day and the number of hours (I agreed), they raised my salary, they also gave assistants for those duties that I don’t want to perform and it’s hard.

This is the great power of a woman. Women's energy is needed everywhere. It is needed both at home and at work.

And by the way, one more important point. You need to understand that the man you think about a lot every day gets yours. If you think about work all the time, then most likely you feed your boss with your energy. And he's probably really cool about it. It certainly helps him a lot in life.

But in general, it is best to feed your husband with this energy. And if you think about your husband all the time at work, then this is very, very good. This is still such a small remark on the topic of where your energy goes. Who do you think about the most? Is it about your clients, about your boss, about colleagues, about partners, or is it about your beloved husband, beloved person?

What I am doing now, all my online courses, articles, are built exactly on this system. I work no more than 4 hours a day, often much less. After all, I have 2 small children, and they need a mother. I have a husband, he also needs a wife. Plus there is life, home, comfort.

I delegated the entire technical part to my husband, and he copes with it much better than I do. For me, setting up sites and all sorts of services is a dark forest. And so my husband figured out everything, showed me, and I'm already poking at those buttons that are written in a piece of paper. Like a real blonde. And my husband is a hero, and I do not break my head.

I can't even call my work a job, it's my favorite thing to do. And such a favorite thing gives strength. After each seminar I feel very fulfilled. Despite the fact that I give a lot of energy to each group, reading, commenting, just listening and talking. But I still have more energy just because I'm doing what I love.

And if I ever get tired of it (I don’t exclude such a possibility, I’m still a girl and I can get bored with everything at any moment), then I’ll just stop doing it. I'll do something else. After all, the main thing for me is my family, and I don’t want to stop at the number of children I have achieved, which I wish for everyone.

Olga Valyaeva

We want to live like the covers of glossy magazines, profiles of fashion bloggers broadcast to us -have a luxurious home, fly wherever your heart desires, learn from the best mentors, provide children with a quality education, dress in branded clothes, fulfill your wildest dreams, have a rich, successful husband. At the same time, knowledge in which spirituality is placed above the material is gaining more and more popularity. And modern women have a question -but how is it right?

For example, here is a typical letter describing a problem:

"Julia, hello! I will be very glad to hear your opinion.

I have this belief: "The right women don't work." My dad taught me from childhood to the idea that I should provide for myself, and I did not like it. Five years ago I got married, and I had a "legal" right not to work. At the same time, "teachings" about what a real woman should be began to actively spread on the Internet, and I was very open to them. Probably, I wanted to know the secret of the right family :)) And now the thought does not let me go that if a woman earns money (even if not out of need, but because she likes it and succeeds), then she is "wrong".

Please comment."

Let's understand the concept of correctness. What does a "right" woman mean? And who sets these criteria?

And yet - what law prescribes that a woman, having married, gets the right not to work? I will assume that the author of the question refers to ancient knowledge.

For now, let's figure it out.

Again, I will assume that many of our men come from a typical Soviet family, where a woman is a citizen of the country and is obliged to work. In men raised by working parents, the model of a spouse who also works is “imprinted”. It's time to get married, and then suddenly - bam! - it turns out that the wife has a certain "legal" right not to work. He has one model, the woman has another. Deception? What is a man to do? Either the man will accept your version and adapt to you, trying to explain to himself that something is not right with him, or he may decide that you are not accidentally leaving the office, now he will have a housekeeper, a cook and so on at home and he will, as it were, pay it. Treating a woman as a hired domestic staff is very logical even in this case. Of course, these are not the only two options, I'm talking about typical ones now. I will share the option that I adhere to a little later.

You can ask me: “How is it possible, because now it is being promoted everywhere that a woman should not work, should wear long skirts, etc., inspire a man and thereby stimulate him to become rich and successful?”

Indeed, such a position is described in the scriptures, for example, in the Vedas. But, firstly, this knowledge is more than 5000 years old, is it possible to equal it in modern conditions? Secondly, there is a caveat - transcendental knowledge should be applied according to the place, time and circumstances. The circumstances surrounding us are far from Vedic. We cannot change them, but we can do our best to be happy even in such a difficult time.

Thirdly, let's look at the qualities that a woman in marriage should have, according to the scriptures. So, the duty of a woman is to master 64 skills perfectly:

1. Determination to follow your husband.
2. The ability to deliver the greatest pleasure to the spouse.
3. The ability to be collected in any situation.
4. Knowledge of hairstyles and the ability to style hair; the ability to use one's cosmos, possession of the laws of recruitment and distribution of cosmic energy for oneself, husband and children.
5. Possession and management of childbearing power for the embodiment in their children of the highly spiritual Ancestors of the Family of their husband.
6. Knowledge of love games and the art of lovemaking.
7. Agility in love positions.
8. The ability to arouse the interest of the spouse by their behavior and attire.
9. The ability to present yourself.
10. The ability to do various massages, maintain longevity and health.
11. Cleanliness.
12. Possession of quackery treatment: herbal medicine, conspiracies, healing with vitality, etc.
13. Possession of household and ritual witchcraft, knowledge of folk customs.

14. Knowledge of the basics of star reading: favorable and unfavorable days.
15. Ability to communicate with the elements of nature.
16. Ability to show the necessary character.
17. The ability to beautifully undress.
18. The ability to excite a husband.
19. The ability to both vividly express and subdue your feelings.
20. Ability to propitiate an angry spouse.
21. The ability to leave, without disturbing, a sleeping husband.
22. Knowing how to fall asleep after your husband.
23. Ability to sleep in any position.
24. Knowledge of various characters.
25. Ability to express your feelings.
26. Knowledge of the necessary protection of one's honor and dignity.
27. The ability to reason, identify patterns and draw conclusions.
28. Ability to express thoughts eloquently.
29. Knowledge of games that develop the mental abilities of a person.
30. Conducting economic calculations, knowledge of measures of weight, volume, density, etc.
31. Knowledge of the tax system.
32. Ability to negotiate and conduct business.
33. The ability to prove one's case.

34. The ability to recognize the qualities and abilities of people.
35. The ability to solve dreams and interpret signs.
36. The ability to make utensils, household items and toys from clay.
37. Making fabrics and yarns from various materials, making and decorating clothes; knowledge of the hidden meaning of patterns and characteristics of products.
38. Preparation of paints; dyeing of fabrics, yarn, clothes, utensils.
39. Knowledge of the properties of stones and the ability to use them.
40. Possession of the art of cooking and preparation of drinks.
41. Knowledge of wild plants, their use in everyday life and nutrition.
42. The ability to get a good harvest in the garden, preserve it and make food preparations.
43. Knowledge of animal husbandry.
44. Communication and games with animals, their training, suggestion of the necessary actions.
45. The ability to recognize the state of a person by his handwriting, to express himself beautifully and competently in writing.
46. ​​The ability to convey with the help of painting and drawing one's state and perception of the world around.
47. The ability to make bouquets, garlands, wreaths, knowledge and possession of their hidden magical meaning.
48. Knowledge of fairy tales, epics, legends.
49. Making dolls for games, rituals and witchcraft.
50. Composition of poems, songs and their performance.
51. Knowledge of favorable and unfavorable musical rhythms, sizes, melodies and their reproduction on various instruments.
52. The ability to move plastically and dance to different melodies.
53. Possession of the art of entertaining games.
54. Experience in various games, dexterity and skill, the ability to determine the terrain.
55. Ability to juggle various objects.
56. Deception skills ( « about" - "bypass", « man" - "mind"), that is, what is next to the mind, with the truth: tricks, tricks, practical jokes, sleight of hand, cunning.
57. The ability to guess the intended numbers, names, objects, phrases, etc.
58. Knowledge of guessing games.
59. The ability to mislead an opponent.
60. Knowledge of various betting games.
61. Ability to cry.
62. The ability to manage the jealousy of her husband.
63. The ability to guess and get ahead of the wishes of her husband.
64. Conscientious performance of one's duties even in the event of the loss of a husband.

How many skills were counted?

How are your skills? A real business woman turns out, doesn't she? And to deal with affairs, and to manage the budget, and to dance a striptease, and to speak languages, and to support any conversation (I translate this into a modern language). But it's true! This is a dream woman! Will a man get bored next to such a smart girl? No. The woman simply won't let him.

But how many skills have you counted in yourself? I am 39 with a stretch, and even then not perfect, but if you strain, try and learn, then maybe I can. So, if I'm far from perfect and « correctness”, can I demand that my husband fulfill his “Vedic obligations” by 100%, for example, support me? Do I have the right not to work? Probably yes, but on one condition - my time will be entirely devoted to honing the necessary skills.

And one more "but". In ancient times, a man married a woman who, at the time of the wedding, possessed all the qualities (she was prepared for this from childhood). And we, at best, by the date of painting, learned how to cook somehow (I, for example, could only cope with scrambled eggs and sandwiches), solve everyday problems, etc. Is a man ready to wait for us to be perfect? I don't think so, because it will take years, if not decades.

This does not mean that now we will never become the ideal "correct" women. I would generally beware of labels. What is ideal for one man, another does not need for free. For example, my husband doesn't like it when I wear a long skirt. He loves when I wear jeans. How, then, to find a compromise between what he loves, what is “supposed” to wear, and what I love? Of course, I wear long ones, but I try to buy such that without “ah!” it was impossible to look at it. I consult with my husband when shopping, I tell how I like it, and I buy it when he practically says “take it!”

For a long time I could not understand how I could combine and apply in the end all the knowledge that I receive from teachers and the reality of life in which we find ourselves every day. And for myself I decided this: for my family there is only one law - the one that we issued ourselves. Yes, I know what an ideal woman should be like, how it works and affects relationships, the world, etc., I know what will happen if these laws are not followed, I also know what kind of woman my man needs, and plus to It still has me and my feelings. Can I tailor all of these criteria to each other? Yes. But what if I can’t or it doesn’t work? At such moments, I remember about item 31 from the “magic” list - that it would be nice for me to master the skill of negotiating, I go and agree with my husband how it will be comfortable for both of us in such a situation.

Who will pay for dreams?

We both have certain dreams, hence certain goals are born, which carry a material background. Can my husband ensure that our ambitious goals are realized on his own? Probably, maybe it's a matter of time and willingness to wait a few decades. What can I do about it? Agree to wait or help him in this right now.

And here I once had terrible resistance: on the one hand, I want to earn money, I want to help our family and husband raise a lot of money, and on the other hand, I don’t want to work. And not because I am a lazy person and a parasite, but because my work took a lot of energy from me, which I could not replenish. And I didn’t want to be embittered, exhausted and de-energized. In addition, the husband was unhappy with this, and he was absolutely right.

I tried not to work for several months, I almost went crazy and my husband almost lost my mind, really! And then I figured out how to do it so that I don’t have to work, but help the family financially. I have found a hobby that has become my hobby. Can the head of a large company say that business is a hobby for him? Yes. At least that's how I feel, but what else can I call what I do and adore? Yes, of course, I honed my hobby to professionalism, I learned how to run a business like a woman, while simultaneously developing the qualities of an ideal woman. Nice bonus, right? It also suits the husband, because he sees his woman happy, satisfied, relaxed.

If you are happy, satisfied, relaxed, realizing yourself completely at home, while remaining beloved and interesting to your man, which cannot but be called work (and what a job!!!), your husband is satisfied with this and you agreed that this option is this is exactly the one that is accepted by the law of your family, then this is the correctness and ideality that should be taken into account. And in no case do not doubt the correctness of the chosen path, and even more so do not listen to anyone who has the opposite opinion. To each his own according to time, place and circumstances.

Editorial

Dozens of different gurus have made the Vedic principles of marriage fashionable. The essence of their theories is that a woman should wear long skirts and inspire her husband to earn a lot of money. The listeners of such trainings dream of beautiful princes who need an accessory wife, obedient, calm, who will not compete with his alpha male and imaginary superiority complexes.

Will the “correctly chosen” skirt help turn a husband into a millionaire? The myth of patriarchal Eastern happiness for the Western family debunks Olga Yurkovskaya - .