Ever since people have known love, they, having met a loved one, dream of one thing - that feelings burn with a bright flame forever. But alas, alas ... Sadly, most couples in love fail to save them. Time passes, and a man and a woman who once loved each other so passionately often become almost enemies. Why is this happening? Why does love fail? What kills her - life, betrayal, resentment, boredom? Let's try to find answers to these questions.

Reasons for the disappearance of love. The desire to re-educate a loved one

Yes, we all really want to always have a loved and loving person nearby. And always initially in a relationship, everything seems to indicate that it will be so. However, after a few months or years, the situation changes. In the eyes that once glowed with feelings, a cold appears. The tenderness in his voice turns into annoyance. Understanding turns into alienation. Relationships are falling apart. And this, unfortunately, happens all the time.

In principle, we ourselves are to blame for why love passes. More precisely, our inability to preserve it and ignorance of the ways of this preservation. After all, how do we usually approach relationships with a loved one? For the most part, we strive to improve it, and we begin to re-educate an already adult partner. It's absolutely pointless. Before us is an accomplished personality, the most basic character traits of which were laid down in early childhood. And all our attempts to change them are nothing but moral violence against this person. It is quite natural that it provokes resistance and aggressive rebuff. What kind of positive development of relations then can we talk about?

Not if we're fighting some bad habits your other half, that's fine. But often people declare war on each other's rather acceptable qualities! They can utterly quarrel because one is slower than the other, someone has the ability to read at the table, eat quickly or not very neatly, and so on. Frequent nit-picking because of such, in general, things that do not have a special meaning give rise to mutual irritation. And it may well be replaced by hatred. And that's it. And the desire to be near disappears. Here it is, the real embodiment of the expression: "one step from love to hate."

But everything can be different if both men and women cut themselves on the nose - to remake each other means to kill love. Because the very desire to re-educate your partner implies that he is not perceived as the only, unique and worthy person. And that means they don't really like it. Since love is the complete acceptance of the personality of the beloved, with all its shortcomings and roughness. If he reciprocates, then something will change in himself. And if not... There's nothing to be done. On "no" and there is no trial.

Of course, the desire to re-educate your soul mate is not the only reason why love passes. There are many couples in which no one is obsessed with the mania to restore order in the personal zone of the other. But, despite this, and in them, feelings often fade over time, giving way to indifference or hostility. What's the matter?

Reasons for the disappearance of love. Lies on dating

I must say that we usually diligently sow the seeds of the future collapse of relationships in the very first hours of meeting our beloved, telling him something about ourselves. At the initial stage of a relationship, you really want to please a person, so your own portrait is at least a little, but embellished. We involuntarily begin to play some role, not fully revealing or even hiding our true face. And as a result, we fall in love with a person in the created image, and not in ourselves. And we ourselves fall in love with exactly the same image.

What happens next? And then when the relationship gets serious and we get married, all of our original roles create serious problems. The family is perhaps the only place where a person can become himself. We get tired of the endless change of images at work and in society, and we come home with one desire - to finally remove the rather boring mask from ourselves. And the half has the opportunity to see us without embellishment. Such a change may well shock a person in love with the image. He begins to understand that next to him is not the one to whom there was such an irrepressible attraction before. And, of course, he feels betrayed. What kind of sincere feelings can we talk about in this case?

No, of course, it is not at all necessary for spouses to completely liberate themselves at home and show themselves to each other in all their glory. Please continue to play the same roles, who does not give something?! A wonderful way to save love! Yeah. It wasn't there. Sooner or later we will get tired of such an endless theater and want to take a break from it. Mutual fatigue from each other is very dangerous for relationships. At best, it will encourage the desire to be apart. At worst, break up completely. And such fatigue, unfortunately, appears in many couples.

However, it is by no means a mandatory phenomenon in marriage. The constant communication of truly close people does not mean at all that they will certainly bother each other. After all, we do not get tired of our mother or father, if we are spiritually close to them! So why should this appear in the relationship of spouses? In fact, everything should be the other way around, since the husband and wife are, as it were, one Satan. That is one whole. And the whole does not want to be torn away from itself at least for a short time some part.

So it is. It’s just that it’s impossible to become “one whole” when people are afraid to open up to the end one in front of another. Falling in love with the image and love for the true essence of a person are not at all the same thing. The first implies a superficial infatuation, the second a real intimacy that promotes unity. Therefore, before the one you love, you need to gradually open up, giving him the opportunity to know us for real. Are we afraid that the person will not like it? Well, that means that this is a stranger to us. And it’s not worth talking about immortal feelings with him. Sooner or later they will disappear like smoke.

What other reasons why love passes in life?

Reasons for the disappearance of love. Boredom and monotony

Boredom in a relationship is perhaps one of the most formidable enemies of love. Initially, they are fueled by a sense of novelty and interest in their partner, as in something unknown and very interesting. We look forward with delight to every meeting with a loved one, and every moment of communication with him is very valuable and incredibly significant. And then everything becomes familiar and begins to develop in accordance with traditional rules. We get bored. After all, the novel promised to be very unusual, and it looks like hundreds of other such novels! Relations develop according to the same scenario. The predictability is starting to wear off. Feelings fade.

In fact, this is not at all a natural way of developing relationships. In order for the love that arose at the beginning to grow stronger and turn into almost immortal love, you should try to write your own script for communicating with your loved one. Only independent creativity contributes to the progress of relations and stirs up the interest of lovers in each other. And if there is interest, then there is no place for boredom. It is enough just to move away from stereotypes and create your own individual project family building. In such marriages, soil is formed that is very favorable for the growth and flowering of a long and lasting love.

What are some other common reasons why love dies?

Reasons for the disappearance of love. Inability to quarrel and sort things out

Many of us are convinced that civilized people who love each other should not quarrel or sort things out at all. Just coo and live soul to soul. Oh, how wrong we are! Negative emotions are inseparable from the human essence. And most of them are caused by the closest people. Because it is with them that we live side by side and constantly communicate. It is impossible to experience only delight in relation to even a loved one forever. After all, we are not all angels.

A loved one did something wrong, casually offended him once or twice, and irritation begins to accumulate. It accumulates, accumulates, and then results in a conflict, which sometimes is almost analogous to devastating earthquake. Quarrel after quarrel, and - that's it ... There is no love. In its place came hostility and hatred.

How to be in this case? Do not accumulate discontent, but do not splash it out immediately on the head of your soul mate, without embarrassing yourself in expressions. It is better to first calm down and take possession of the genie of anger that is trying to break out of the bottle. And only then soberly determine what was the reason for indignation and how to eliminate this reason. And then calmly discuss this issue with your loved one and try to come to some kind of agreement with him.

A woman in love is sure that her feelings will never go away. That she is truly truly in love with the most beautiful man.

But, sadly, love cannot last forever. Women's love also has different expiration dates.

How quickly does a woman's love pass? Falling in love can, of course, eventually turn into true love. This happens when two loving person get to know each other very closely and become really inseparable from each other. But, as a rule, falling in love ends with the complete disappearance of all beautiful feelings.

Scientists have proven that the average duration of falling in love is about two years. Moreover, male love passes faster. Women are in love and experience this feeling for a longer time.

Women's love and its duration depends on various features. For example, if a girl is in love with a man she cannot achieve, for example, married man. Then her feelings can last for a very long time, until either rose-colored glasses fall off and she plunges into reality, or until her love is reborn into a feeling of dependence on this man.

Women's love is not amenable to any analysis and experimentation. You can rely on only one phrase: "The most mysterious creation of God is a woman." It follows from this that our love and its duration are also mysterious. A girl can fall in love for the whole day, wake up in the morning and think that she just dreamed all her feelings. And, can experience a feeling of love at least all his life. This often happens when the object of adoration is not available to the girl. She is in love with her image.

When a woman's love passes. And it happens as if you were hit hard on the head and you regained the ability to look at the world and your man with real eyes. You immediately begin to see all the shortcomings of your man, sometimes you begin to hate him with all your heart and soul. And who is to blame for this? All the blame lies with the girl. I didn’t take off my rose-colored glasses in time, and now I have to think and decide how to live on. This applies to those cases when a girl in love marries and gives birth to a child from a man whom she does not really love.

Past love brings a feeling of disappointment. Lovers, when people are in each other, become hated by each other.

If in this moment you are in love, you should not think about the fact that sooner or later your feelings will disappear like a sand castle. Perhaps you are given a chance to meet your true love from above. Being in love gives a sea of ​​positive emotions, you should not deprive yourself of nirvana with your loved one in advance.

How quickly does a woman's love pass? No one can give her an exact date. Falling in love is a game of illusion when you love not real person, but just an image that has developed in your imagination. When the moment happens that your eyes open, and you look at your man and take away in him who he really is, no one will tell you. But, do not be discouraged and do not paint pictures of a terrible future. I repeat, it may happen that looking at a man already without a veil of love in his eyes, you will love him like that. What he really is.

- one of the most important human feelings, which resembles a slight insanity (according to some signs). Attracted to a loved one. He wants to be seen, heard, felt, even at a distance. He wants to be touched all the time.

There are five stages in the development of love:

Attraction

Having a physical character. Lovers completely dissolve in the feeling, completely surrender to it. It seems to them that huge wings grow behind their backs, allowing them to fly in the expanses of cloudless romance.

Cognition

During the passage of this stage, you will have to show maximum patience, since at this time the authenticity of love is being tested. A person begins to notice the shortcomings of his "half", get used to them. It comes to understanding that there are no perfect people.

The madness of romance

This stage can last two and a half years, if the lovers contribute to it. A man and a woman do not notice those qualities in each other that they do not like. They take the best from life and share it among themselves.

Attraction on an emotional level

Experts call this stage unconditional acceptance. People understand that they love each other no matter what, they will always be together. Conflicts are not excluded, since each of the couple (both man and woman) begins to put forward some conditions, according to their psychology.

Obligations in relationships

Everything is founded, developed and thrives on undeniable trust. A man and a woman truly appreciate each other, they are afraid to lose.

Stages of development of love

There are "seven" stages in the development of love: the stage of falling in love, the stage of addiction, the stage of disgust, the stage of patience, the stage of service, the stage of friendship and the stage of love.

Falling in love is the beginning of a relationship. The couple is going through a beautiful candy and bouquet period.

In the second stage of a relationship, any romance becomes commonplace. There is a desire to return a bright past.

The third stage is also called conflict because people fight, quarrel and disperse. They have a little hope that with other "halves" everything will turn out great for them. The motto sounds something like this: "Everything will be better than it is now!".

The stage of patience makes it possible to renew relationships or improve old, “everyday” ones.

The stage of service slowly but surely brings lovers closer to the cherished stage of love. A man and a woman do their best to please each other, make surprises and gifts, create maximum comfort.

Penultimate stage (friendly) inextricably linked with the stage of service. There is a process of building trust.

is a well-deserved award. It does not reach all people. Only the most seasoned, faithful and persistent deserve it.

Why does love fail? Reasons why love is gone.

1. The lovers are fed up with each other. They realized that in addition to affection and respect, nothing more binds them at all.
2. Cheating "helped" love fade away. She aroused a feeling of hatred and conquered love. This can happen both in an ordinary and in a civil marriage.
3. The cause of love fading is resentment. The lovers argued about something. The dispute led them to a negative consequence called…. Parting.
4. One of the couple in love met their first love. A date with the past changed everything that was in the present.
5. It only seemed to the lovers that there was love between them. They mistook it for love or gratitude.
6. A man does not suit a woman intimately. She disagrees with him so as not to deceive and cheat. A man is able to abandon his beloved for the same reason. Even if it happened after their marriage. Love goes on in a long marriage.

It is easier not to make mistakes than to correct mistakes later. However, every person in our world (without exception) is mistaken.

Read everything that is written below, and you will understand what the mistakes of love are “lurking” in, how to correct them.

1. Don't raise your voice to a man. Representatives of the opposite sex do not tolerate a raised tone directed at them!
2. You need to be able to forgive. Try to forgive even that which is not forgiven at all (turning to the left, assault, special control, deceit, humiliation, greed, terrible insults).
3. Be honest and open with those you love. Do not hide anything, honestly answer the questions that the man has.
4. Don't make me jealous! A man or a guy (any) is extremely dangerous when he is in a state of jealousy.
5. Spend more time together. Go to the cinema, visit museums, eat in cafes, walk the streets and parks, play games, read books aloud, go to visit.
6. Communicate a lot. Discuss last news, talk about everything, plan a common future, get the opinion of your loved one (on any issue).
7. Go on vacation to distant lands! You need to change your usual environment, abstract from the hustle and bustle and from “domestic fatigue”.
8. Write messages to your beloved with confessions of the greatest and highest feelings. Call, but unobtrusively (maximum several times a day).
9. Is the man not tidy? Do not force him to become a real "clean neat man." Talk to him. Quietly ask not to scatter your things around the apartment.
10. Walk around the house in a nice dressing gown, not an old tracksuit. Always try to make your man happy appearance. In addition, one cannot fail to say the following: go to bed in a rested state and do not wash off your chic makeup.
11. Do not reproach your man for eating a lot and earning little. Accept the person you love the way they are.
12. Have holidays. Mark the date of acquaintance or the date of the first meeting. You can even celebrate Love's Birthday! Prepare a delicious dinner and spend it with dignity so that the evening turns into a wonderful night.
13. Get a child. Unless, of course, you are actually ready to become parents. Think of the baby first! He shouldn't need anything. Let a small miracle appear when you "stand firmly on your feet." A son or daughter should become the fruit of endless feelings, and not their mistake.
14. Contact a psychologist if living together becomes more and more difficult and unbearable. The specialist will definitely give you practical and correct advice.