Women who have experienced a divorce or separation from a loved one certainly experience strong feelings. The emotions in my soul are just going through the roof. Of course, talk about this with your girlfriends, and discuss which ex-husband is a goat - a necessary thing to heal emotional wounds.

But if another man appears on the horizon, should he talk about his previous relationship?

Good marriages, in which love and mutual understanding reign, do not break up. If a man and woman break up, it means that in their family life something wasn't going well. You shouldn’t tell a new man that your ex-husband yelled at you, didn’t give you any money, didn’t allow you to communicate with your girlfriends, and sometimes even raised his hand to you.

When a man finds out how a woman was treated in a previous relationship, he takes it for granted. This means you need to behave this way with this woman. If a woman long time If she tolerated such an attitude towards herself, it means that everything suited her, and therefore there is no reason to change anything.

When meeting a new man, you cannot guess what kind of family he imagines. What a woman might tell him about her previous relationships may be unacceptable to him. A man may consider that such a lifestyle is habitual for a woman and simply will not want to continue the relationship.

There is no need to throw mud, gossip and tell everyone around how bad your husband was and how he offended you. As you know, in any quarrel both are often to blame. Presenting yourself in a good light and humiliating ex-spouse, a woman will achieve nothing but ridicule and contempt. A smart man will definitely think that if you suddenly break up, such a girl will immediately run to tell similar things about him. It is unlikely that such a relationship will continue.

Many men themselves do not want to know anything about their woman’s former boyfriends. Such conversations lead to the fact that a woman involuntarily begins to compare men with each other. And such a comparison hurts a man’s pride, because it is unknown in whose favor the scales have tipped.

It is important for a man to know that he is the most beloved, unique and the only one.

It is best to remain silent about your previous relationships, only if the man himself asks you about it, keep your story discreet, do not even think about comparing your men, much less talk about it out loud.

When answering the questions: why did you break up, it is best to say that this is how the circumstances developed. There is no need to throw mud at a person from head to toe.

Try not to give your man reasons for jealousy and questioning. If the relationship is over, then everything connected with it should be left in the past.

If you have children from your first marriage, then, of course, communication with ex-husband inevitably. Behave in such a way that the man cannot make any claims if the new relationship is truly dear to you.

Smiling, joyful, happy people attract attention. You want to be around such a person all the time. Learn to forgive, forget old grievances and then new ones, real love will definitely look into your heart.

“God, how I love it when people are jealous, suffer, suffer.”
V. Mayakovsky

My wife is wonderful. The best of all women. Both beautiful and cheerful,
and business. If he takes on any work, he will do it quickly and in at its best. Behind
She takes care of me, our home is in order thanks to her care, the children are well-groomed. And he cooks
It’s always so delicious that, as they say, you’ll lick your fingers. In short, I
I consider myself a happy person thanks to the fact that I have this, I can safely say,
outstanding wife. And she loves me, as she says, to madness.

So it is in this “madness” of hers, in which I completely agree with her, that she is buried
the most "dog". And this “dog” is called jealousy. I know what this disease is
Many wives suffer, and husbands too, no matter what. I wouldn't give it to her
jealousy of great importance, if this jealousy was expressed like the majority
women, reproaches or tears. And even then, if I had at least once given her a reason for this.
I’ll be honest, if I looked at other women, it was only to be extra
once to establish that my wife is the best.

So I want to talk about how my beautiful wife can be so jealous.
If you put it in one word, then this word is instantaneity. Moreover, I’m wearing this one
instantaneousness is often reflected rather sadly. I will give three examples here,
these cases occurred during last year.

It so happened that all three of these cases are associated with the name of one woman. Called
this woman Dasha, a month ago she passed away after a serious illness. My wife
called that Dasha my first love, although that Dasha and I only had a childhood
friendship. She and I were neighbors and went to school together, that’s what love was all about. Dasha
She got married two years before me. We are the same age, we studied in the same class.
And it just so happened that she and I received passports together. Were then
Our parents are also with us. When we were already walking home with our passports, one of our
I suggested that my parents go into photography. In addition to the general photograph, we then
Dasha took a photo together.

About a year ago, my wife and I were sitting on the couch and looking through the accumulated
albums with photographs for many years. So, when my beloved wife saw that
the very one where Dasha and I are sitting side by side, that’s when her reaction took effect,
which I call instantaneity. In the blink of an eye, an album weighing a kilogram hit
me right in the face. As a result, both glasses of my glasses were broken, and their fragments
They left several cuts on my face and blood ran down my face. I won't describe it
what words we spoke to each other then, but honestly, I was a fool then for my wife
didn't name it. Although it should have been.

Three months passed, it was as if there were no scratches on the face, the incident became history.
The following two cases are related to my weakness to sometimes sing in a loud voice
a few lines of a song that came to mind. Such cases happen to me most often
on a day off, when you don’t think about work, when you’re in a happier mood. Wife and kids
They got used to it a long time ago, sometimes they could even sing that song themselves. So one day
I sang these two lines on my own head, without attaching any meaning to the words:
"Song of first love in the soul
still alive..."

And it had to happen that at that time the wife washed the floor in the kitchen and passed
past me with a floor rag in his hands, you yourself understand what kind of object this is. I’m sure that now you can guess without me where that ill-fated object immediately ended up, and so quickly that I didn’t even have time to close my mouth. It took a long time to wash and spit out.
It’s good that at that time it was just the two of us, the children went about their business.

The third incident happened three days ago, it is also connected with my songs. Already
More than a month has passed since the one my wife called my first passed into oblivion
love. This was also on a day off and also related to our kitchen, but no longer with
unfortunate rag. My wife was busy with the cooking chores, and I walked around the room to the side
kitchen and sang a song that accidentally came to mind. And this time the song turned out to be
the culprit of my wife's immediacy. Again, I didn't think about the meaning of the lyrics:
“I was looking for my dear’s grave, but it’s not easy to find.” With the last word, I went into the kitchen.
And what do you think was in the hands of my jealous girl at that time? This time I got away
With a slight fright, a large but light wooden spoon flew at me, albeit covered in sour cream. But this is a trifle; in the kitchen, the wife sometimes holds a knife for chopping meat.

True, there was one more incident that deserves remembrance. This was also on a day off - Saturday, and also because of my singing on a topic that causes that instant reaction that I have already spoken about. That Saturday evening I returned from fishing, which I had left for on Friday after work. Such fishing trips happened often, and my wife even regarded them with approval. Firstly, she liked to do the cleaning alone and rarely invited me to help. Secondly, she loved fish and loved to cook various delicious things from it, and I never returned without fish. So that time, in addition to small change, I brought two good perch and an even better pike, about one and a half kilograms.

For an overnight stay, the men and I had a good tent. So, when we climbed into the tent on Friday evening, one man turned on the transistor, and before going to bed, one song sounded in the tent, which I remembered at home when I was in a cheerful mood from a good catch. And again, without attaching importance to the words, he sang loudly:
I spent the night today
with the woman you love...
And this was when I really didn’t spend the night at home.
I didn’t manage to finish singing, my wife was cleaning that same pike at the time, so I instantly determined with my cheek that that pike weighed much more than I determined.

True, my wife’s withdrawal from jealousy was also instantaneous, and she hurried to apologize, and each time asked me not to sing such “harmful” songs in front of her. But time passed
I forgot about songs that were “harmful”, especially for me. And one day I again came across a song that was often played on Road Radio. This happened in our bedroom, when we had already gone to bed, but were not yet asleep. It was Friday, the mood before the weekend, and I sang:

And I found another...
Again, not thinking about words at all. True, this time I was lucky, I only ended up on the floor next to the bed on a soft carpet. Then my ears were ringing for several days
wife's words:
- I'll show you another one.

Of course, most women hope that they won’t have to say anything - the husband will figure it out himself. Alas, men are not psychics. It seems to them that if a wife moans with pleasure, it means she is at the height of bliss. And then they rest on their laurels, considering themselves super lovers. Therefore, if something doesn’t suit you or you want to bring a fresh vibe to your intimate life, you will have to talk about it. Both partners should feel good in bed!

Ticky details

It is better to discuss “uncomfortable” topics after sex. But not immediately, but after 15-20 minutes, when you both cool down and come to your senses.

Be soft and gentle. No phrases like “I need to talk to you seriously” - men can’t stand them. They immediately want to run away. It's better to start with a compliment. Your chosen one certainly has something to praise for! And then you can continue: “And I also love it when you do this...” or “And I also want to try this...” And further down the list. But remember that men are specific creatures. Don't beat around the bush and indulge in lengthy explanations - say directly what you want. You can use humor - a joke relieves the situation. It can be playful. Your confession will certainly excite your chosen one so much that he will immediately begin to make your dream come true.

Show. If you are so embarrassed that words get stuck in your throat, you can simply take his hand and introduce him to the “front of work.” Then he will enthusiastically continue on his own.

Play. Let's say you want some special caresses from a man. You have already hinted and said directly that he doesn’t understand. Offer him the game “Repeat” - you do with him what you would like to receive from him. And then switch roles.

Write letters. Sometimes it's easier to write than to speak. Send him a warm email describing your desires. True, you may encounter a problem... lack of words. Unfortunately, we do not have normal intimate vocabulary - we have either medical terms or kindergarten words. But each couple has its own sexual vocabulary, understandable only to both of you. So use it!

Can everything be discussed?

It is clear that such frankness is only possible with a permanent partner. If you have recently met a man, you should not immediately tell him about your sexual fantasies. Otherwise you will be misunderstood.

Caution will not hurt if your husband is a puritan and conservative. Such a gentleman is unlikely to be delighted with the idea of ​​trying adult toys, and will consider erotic lingerie provocative and vulgar. However, moderate desires can be voiced to him, just not all at once and carefully choosing words. But if a man loves experiments, he will accept all your ideas with a bang and even run to a sex shop himself. You can be frank with this.

However, sexologists believe that not all fantasies are worth fulfilling. After all, the beauty of a dream is precisely that it is a dream. Having become a reality, it often loses its attractiveness and ceases to excite. Therefore, you can keep your deepest fantasies to yourself.

What dreams say

Women are often silent about erotic desires because... they are afraid of these desires. However, not all of them should be taken literally.

Every third woman has fantasies with a lesbian slant, but they do not always indicate a non-traditional orientation. They often occur in women who are offended by men for something. So the subconscious slips in pictures where the stronger sex is absent in principle. Another reason for such dreams is the lack of oral sex.

Sex with elements of coercion - such a fantasy can arise in powerful and strong women. They are quite tired of the dominant role and want, at least in their fantasies, to be weak and passive.

Sex in public place- an indication that sex is in real life became boring and monotonous. You clearly lack the thrill.

Pregnancy can be the most exciting news of your life. You may want to tell your husband right away what you found out, but if you can handle the emotions, then you can also break the news to your spouse in a few fun and unusual ways. If you want to know how to surprise your husband with life-changing news, then just follow these simple steps.

Steps

How to Break the News in a Playful Way

1. Break the news by literally putting a bun in the oven. When your husband leaves the house, put a hamburger, hot dog, or plain bun in the oven. Whatever you use, make sure he gets the hint.

   • When your husband gets home, tell him that the stove is making a strange noise or that you can't turn it on.
   • He will open the oven and at first will not be able to understand what the bun is doing there.
   • Stand next to him and wait until he realizes that there is a bun in your oven too!

2. Give him a pregnancy test. Wrap the gift and tie it with a big bow. Even if there is no reason for this, sit your husband down and make sure that his full attention is on you.

   • Say: "There is something I would like to give you. In fact, it is already yours."
   • When he sees the pregnancy test, he will know what it means!

3. Give him something from the dad set. If you give your dad something with the inscription "Daddy" or "Dad", then everything will become obvious. It can be fun to give him a little gift that lets him know he's going to be a dad, even if it takes him a minute to understand what you mean. Here are some examples:

   • If he loves to cook, you can buy him an apron that says "Daddy" and tie it on it. See how long it takes him to look down and notice what is written on it.
   • Buy a World's Best Dad cup and make your morning coffee in it. See how long it takes him to notice the writing.
   • Just buy a T-shirt that says "Proud Dad." If you want to tease him, you can ask him to fold the laundry or help you while you hang the laundry and wait until he notices the new T-shirt on the pile.
   • You can also give him a baby blouse or jumper with the inscription "I love daddy." He may be taken aback for a second, but he will understand what it means.
   • If you usually hang out laundry after washing, hang the baby's clothes in a visible place and wait for him to ask you what's going on.
   • Buy a pair of baby shoes and give him a box. Tell him you bought him the perfect pair of shoes and can't wait for him to open them.
   • You can also buy a pair of baby shoes and put them next to your regular shoes and wait for him to notice.

4. Break the news by parking in a maternity parking spot. This will only work if you have a grocery store or convenience store near you that has parking spaces reserved specifically for pregnant women. Once you have found such a place, it is time to get to work.

   • Ask your husband to go to the grocery store with you.
   • Make sure you take the keys and get into the driver's seat. If you almost always let him lead and he asks what you're doing, just say, "I just wanted to lead."
   • Drive to your destination and park in the parking lot.
   • Get out of the car as if what you did was completely natural (after all, it is!).
   • Wait until he stops you and says, "Honey, you can't park here."
   • Smile widely and say: “No, I can!”

   How to Break the News in a Romantic Way

   1. Report the news in a memorable place. Find a place that is important to both of you. Ask him to accompany you there in the evening and tell him that you both should dress up, even if the place is not very luxurious. Here's what to do when you get there:

      • Hold his hands and look into his eyes.
      • Tell him why you love the special place you took him to, whether it was your first date, where you fell in love, or where you had your first kiss. Tell him you can't wait to share more memories with him.
      • Say: "We are pregnant."

   2. Write him a love poem that tells him that you are pregnant. If you are a romantic person who is known for your love letters and poems, then the pregnancy poem you give to your husband will not look forced.

      • Go on a romantic date or even go to a restaurant with dim lights. Then share your message with him.
      • Give him the poem and say, "I'd like you to read something."
      • Wait until his eyes fill with tears.

   3. Tell him in a romantic restaurant. Find the most romantic restaurant in town and tell him the news there. After you've had time to relax and have a great conversation, you can tell him the big news. Here's how to do it:

      • Talk to the restaurant in advance so that they can bring you a piece of pie with the inscription “Congratulations!” When he asks you what he was congratulated on, you may be shy and wait until he understands.
      • Give him a romantic card in which you describe your feelings. When he turns it over, he will read about your news.

   How to Break the News When Your Husband May Have Mixed Emotions

   1. Plan what you will say. If you're not sure what your husband will think of your confidence and it's completely unexpected, then you shouldn't plan any fun or witty surprises to tell him about your secret. Instead, you should approach the situation as honestly as possible and make sure the communication goes as smoothly as possible.

      • Practice keeping a calm and even tone when you tell him the news. Make eye contact and hold his hand as you speak.
      • Plan to tell him how you feel. You may also have mixed feelings about pregnancy. Whatever you feel is something you can work out together.

   2. Anticipate his reaction. You should know your husband well enough to predict how he will react to the news of your pregnancy. If you're married, you've probably already talked about kids at some point, so you remember what he said on the topic to predict his reaction. Did he say that he would like to have children one day, or did he make it clear that he was not interested in children? If you know his view of children, you will understand how he will react.

      • Think about past situations in which you told him unexpected or startling news. Although it's unlikely that you communicated something as important to him as the fact that you were pregnant, if you remember his reaction, it may give you some idea. Did he take the news calmly or was he very upset?
      • If he has a history of violent behavior and you think this news will cause him to react violently, then don't tell him in private. Make sure you are with a friend or family member when you tell them the news.

   3. Choose a date and time to talk. While you should talk as quickly as possible, choosing an ideal date and time to talk can help make the conversation more relaxed. Choose a time that works for both of you and when you know he won't be in a stressful situation afterwards so he can think about the news.

      • Find a time when both of you are not stressed, when you can give each other your full attention.
      • Don't be too dramatic when asking when it would be convenient for him to talk. Just say there's something you'd like to talk about. If you are too dramatic, he may want to talk right away and you won't be ready for it.
      • Doesn't tell him immediately after he gets home from work. Wait until he has time to relax after dinner.

   4. Tell him the news. Once you have your husband's attention, there is no point in delaying. You will have to open up. You can make him feel more comfortable by patting him or holding his hand, but don't force it.

      • Say, "I just heard big news. I'm pregnant."
      • Wait for him to take in the news. If he is overwhelmed with emotion and leans in, give him a hug. If he sits in silence, be patient and don't push him.
      • If he wants to talk but is at a loss for words, tell him more about your feelings about the pregnancy.
      • If he is ready to receive, ask him to share his emotions.