Divorce initiated by wife Lately occurs quite often. Sociological polls showed that women rate the quality of their marriage lower than men. A wife may also demand a divorce for educational purposes, wanting to influence her husband. If the spouse wants to get a divorce, but does not file for divorce, then this is most likely a method of manipulating the husband, but in some cases, the wife, thus, shows the last drop of her patience, and makes it clear to the man that he needs to do something or change in your behaviour.

Reasons why women want a divorce

A sociological survey showed the reasons why women demand a divorce:

6.5% - unpreparedness for family life;

7% - the presence of another partner in a woman;

8% - cheating husband;

13.5% - the use of psychotropic substances or alcoholism;

41% - dissimilarity of characters;

24% - individual reasons (with each of the reasons scored less than 5%).

It turns out that in most cases women want to get divorced because of dissimilarities in character. Where did this reason come from, what to do with it, and how to dissuade the wife from breaking up the family? After all, women had no special complaints about this before!

Why women file for divorce - a bit of history

Before the revolution, it was unprofitable for a wife to divorce, since the household was common and was the only source of income. In tsarist Russia, all issues regarding divorces and marriages were decided by the church.

In 1917, a revolution took place, and the divorce procedure was simplified, it could be obtained at the registry office. In addition, the personal life of Soviet people was in full view, and family disagreements and problems were openly discussed in labor collectives and at meetings. But still, divorces were rare, since Soviet society did not encourage them.

The Soviet Union collapsed, and Western values ​​began to invade the lives of Russians more and more, and much has changed in family relations. Now you will not surprise anyone with a divorce, and every year there are more and more of them.

Of course, it’s good that in our time personal life is not controlled by party committees, trade union committees and others. public organizations. But on the other hand, now in almost every family, their personal “I” has come to the fore, both in men and women, and not “We”. This is where it all started! Not so much, just a divorce. This is especially true for the female half of humanity, as they are more emotional and pay too much attention to trifles.

The Russian government is trying to solve this problem and prevent divorce, because good family is the basis of the state.

Today, there are more and more successful women who can independently provide for themselves and their child. It is worth a husband to disappoint his wife, and she calmly files for divorce, because today a woman makes a successful career and provides for herself. Financial independence from her husband allows the wife not to turn a blind eye to the serious shortcomings of her husband, and calmly get out of family relations which do not bring her moral satisfaction.

Behavioral reasons for divorce

• inability to resolve conflicts, constant scandals and quarrels over trifles;
• separate living;
• a man refuses to run a common household and provide;
• treason;
• illegal actions;
• drug addiction and alcoholism.

Financial reasons for divorce

• lack of necessary;
• husband's debts;
• housing problem;
• loss of working capacity.

Psychological reasons for divorce

• irritation;
• fell out of love;
• jealousy;
• sexual incompatibility;
• difference in outlook on life.

How to talk your spouse out of a divorce?

First of all, it is necessary to find out why the wife filed for divorce or is just going to do it. Analyze your behavior, review the reasons for divorce and consider how acceptable they are in your case. If you don’t see a clear reason for a divorce, then calmly and as frankly as possible talk with your spouse and try to dissuade her. You can also seek help from a family psychologist. He will analyze the situation and give advice that will help save the family and tell you what to do next.

• Be different. If you decide to save your marriage and don't want to let go of your wife, then you need to change. Very often, women talk about divorce (if there are no visible reasons) when they are tired of the daily routine. The wife does not want to feel like a housewife, it is important for her to remain a desired and beloved woman. In this case, it is possible to dissuade from a divorce, it is enough to remove some household duties from the wife, or go on vacation. The wife will again feel like a desirable woman, and most likely she will forget about the divorce.
• Become a man. Nobody needs a man-rag. A married woman wants to feel fragile and weak, to hide behind her lover's back from all adversity. Therefore, no self-respecting woman can stand a weakling or a man-child for a long time. The main thing here is to find a middle ground - to be independent, but listen to the opinion of your wife and reckon with it, be strong, but not callous and rude. Therefore, if the spouse filed for divorce, pull yourself together and try to peacefully and tactfully find out what exactly does not suit her, and only after that, think about how you can correct the situation and dissuade your spouse from divorce. You can tell her the following words: “I am a man, trust me, I take responsibility for our family, trust me, and I will prove to you that I can fix everything ... etc.”
• Become more caring and gentle. Married women very often lack tenderness and warmth. That is why many women declare their desire to get a divorce for no apparent reason. Therefore, if you are not ready to lose your spouse, change, become more affectionate and attentive, remember the time when you were just starting a relationship. Going to the cinema or a restaurant, small gifts, compliments and words of gratitude will help you talk your wife out of a divorce.
• Start earning.

The wife may not have enough money. And in this case, it is unpleasant for her to watch her husband, who does not want to do anything, does not move up the career ladder, but simply lies on the couch. Do not allow your woman to solve the issue of lack of money, deprive herself of small things or take on debt. If you decide that the wife filed for divorce because of a financial reason, then try to find yourself a new better-paid job or work overtime.

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• Show your wife how important she is in your eyes. If your wife says she has fallen out of love with you or filed for divorce for another reason, try to show her significance. Try to give your spouse more attention, talk more often about your devotion and love. If you don't have children, tell her that you want her to be pregnant. If your wife has not stopped loving you, then she will definitely stay and refuse a divorce, because with these simple actions and words you will show her how important and valuable she is to you. This is one of the most effective ways helping to dissuade a spouse from divorce.
• Remind her how it all began. Women live with emotions. Therefore, remember those times when everything was fine with you, when your romance was just beginning. Take your wife to her favorite place, give flowers, light candles, open a bottle of wine, in general, reproduce the actions of the past. It is highly likely that in this revived atmosphere, the spouse will understand that she has not stopped loving you, but is simply tired of the routine and everyday troubles, and she will most likely refuse the idea of ​​divorce.
• Live separately. If your wife does not want to understand you, and you cannot talk her out of a divorce, then offer to live separately. Leave your common apartment for a while (get yourself a separate apartment), but in no case disappear from the life of your spouse. Let the wife cool off and take a break from family responsibilities. But at this time, you must do things that will prove your love and desire to save the family. Give small gifts, make surprises, for example, send flowers or a fruit basket. The main thing is not to come to her personally, so that she has time to get bored, relax and think about everything. The wife will see your romantic mood and her heart will melt.

These rules should only be used if you really have feelings, and your wife means more to you than just a “stove”. These 7 simple tips help in dealing with almost all causes of divorce.

Help for men from the psychological side

If it was not possible to dissuade your wife from a divorce, and she filed an application, and you still have feelings, then it is best to seek help from a psychologist.

Men hide feelings, in addition, male pride plays a big role. That is why, during a divorce initiated by a woman, a man falls into a deep depression, he becomes vulnerable and he has many complexes, which has negative psychological consequences.

Problems that a psychologist helps to solve

In a divorce, a man is deprived of important moral values. He loses the woman he loves, he has some restrictions in communicating with his children, he loses to some extent the right to raise his children. A divorced man also faces everyday problems that used to be the wife's duties (cleaning the apartment, cooking, maintaining order in the wardrobe).

When faced with everyday problems, a man begins to realize how many difficult issues a woman solved, gave him care and created a comfortable environment, comfort. Because of this, a divorced man begins to feel loneliness and discomfort.

On the one hand, after the divorce, the man lost responsibility for the whole family, but at the same time he begins to realize that he is unable to cope even with responsibility for himself.

A bachelor life, of course, has a lot of its advantages, but having walked enough, a man understands that it is better to live in a family than to be completely free. In addition, after a divorce, many men go to extremes - they begin to drink a lot, overeat, succumb to the temptation of unprotected sex and other entertainment. Of course, every man has the right to live his life after a divorce the way he wants, but still, a psychologist will help to avoid some serious mistakes.

Psychologists advise men after a divorce to give up drinking and unprotected sex. Set a goal for yourself and try to achieve it. You can devote all your free time to work or start mastering any kind of sport. First of all, you need to remain a man, and not go to extremes.

It is also necessary to analyze all family life, identify your mistakes that led to a divorce, and draw conclusions. New serious relationship you have to start only when you have completely let go of your old life.

Men's rights

The Family Code states that a man has the right to prevent divorce. By law, each spouse has the right to judicial protection of rights.

The personal non-property rights of spouses are protected in court. For example, if one of the spouses does not want a divorce. The interests of both parties are protected in court when disputes arise between spouses about the division of property and children. The husband does not have the right to file for divorce if the wife is pregnant or the child is under 1 year old. But at the same time, a pregnant spouse or with a child under 1 year old has the right to file for divorce.

As many say, you didn’t give up and suffer alone. Why are families falling apart so much today? The answer is simple - there is no mutual understanding, there is no mutual desire. Just become boring or worldly fuss (being) Took away all the beauty and romance. Well, where to go from this being, what to do in order to actually become a happy person. Most of all, you need to look deep into yourself. Change something inside yourself and then everything will go uphill and everything will work out. And romance and passion and a great desire ... Everything will return, only you need the right priorities, they need to be valued and respected with feelings, you can’t play. And then you will not sit alone like a fool.

Let's talk about one question - why does the wife refuse her husband sex?

How often do you hear from men "The wife does not give, I don’t understand the reason, I don’t know what to do" ... Is it possible to reason with her?

I want to start with one parable. From the life of animals. From the sex life of gorillas.
Behind them - one male and five females, biologists have been watching for several years. And they noticed: some representatives of the weaker monkey sex often and persistently offer sex to the male, depicting an extreme degree of readiness. At the same time, the one who is already pregnant is the most active - she clings to her "husband", the father of her unborn child. Why, one wonders, if the goal has already been achieved and the continuation of the family is ensured? And then, it turns out that the male is not distracted by other females. According to scientists, such behavior became a harbinger of monogamy in humans.
Salt of the parable: even monkeys understand that the male needs sex, that he strengthens the family. But some people don't understand this.

"I'm tired - my head hurts - I want to sleep"
Sexless - psychologists use this term to denote a disgusting phenomenon that has struck both Western and Russian society. Namely, the lack of regular sexual intercourse between spouses. It happens, of course, that husbands also deprive their wives of intimate attention. But women are more often denied intimacy. And men, tormented by their libido, hear: "I'm tired - my head hurts - I want to sleep." Or quite offensive: “Where did you go?”

Psychologists have found the answer. But you won't believe how simple and straightforward it is.
The author of one song sings these words: "You refused me three times, that's how you are ..."
An amazing experiment was conducted by a sex therapist from Australia, Bettina Arndt. She asked 98 men and women (spouses) to keep anonymous diaries of their intimate lives for a year. And tell them the truth. After getting what she wanted, the researcher wrote a whole book
"Why Women Quit Sex and Other Bedroom Battles."
Bettina did not make a shocking discovery, discovering that there are many reasons. And they are usually different for everyone. But I did come across a few common ones.
First: most wives for some reason believe that sex should be only when, there and the way they want. But at the same time, they do not convey their thoughts to their husbands. And they just refuse. Like, he should understand. And he, the goat, does not understand. And climb. And offended even then.
In other words, wives make husbands guilty of untimely harassment. And they themselves are offended by them - such is the female logic. And this resentment, in turn, becomes a reason for refusal ...
Second: the wife holds some kind of spite against her husband, even a very small one: for example, she didn’t take out the garbage, didn’t ask how she was doing at work, her mother-in-law said nasty things. And, pouting, "punishes" the deprivation of intimacy. But again, does not state the reason for the sex strike. They are silent as hell.
But, even saying those very notorious “I'm tired - my head hurts - I want to sleep,” many women omit the details. Or maybe they really had a hard day at work. And they are so preoccupied with her that there is not even a place in their head for thoughts about sex.
But dear readers, what is the conclusion: the bedroom is not a battlefield for psychics, and husbands are not quick-witted telepaths. They need to be explained in detail. And do not bring the matter to deep resentment.

No need for romance, it's better to go straight to bed.
“I love my wife,” someone says, essentially confirming the conclusion of the Australian researcher. - I want a wife all the time, although we have been together for 20 years. And she didn't tell me. And all the talk on this topic does not give anything. She doesn’t go to the doctor: “I’m not sick!” Physically healthy - porn turns on her, but knowing this, she doesn't allow her to turn it on. And nothing helps: we go on holidays, go to restaurants, and go to dances - romance is more than enough ... "
Bettina explains that passion, and even elementary lust, which pushes the newlyweds into each other's arms, cannot last forever. And even more so, it manifests itself equally in both spouses. Yes, even after many years. The production of the sex hormones responsible for it - passion - fades away in about 18 months.
The researcher has found the most primitive production enhancer - sex. But how can one “treat” with sex, if it is just not there?! Very simple, says Bettina. I can't through. Through "tired - my head hurts - I want to sleep."
A woman must realize the perniciousness of sexless, understand how painful it is for a loving husband, destructive for a family. And do not refuse, always agree when the husband asks. Unless, of course, she had an attack of appendicitis.

Wife wants a divorce

Get your wife back

Wife wants a divorce

What if your wife wants a divorce and you still love her? Your first and strongest step must be to fight for her. Most men do whatever it takes to keep a family together. However, there is actually a very good approach which will give you the result.

If your wife wants a divorce because she stopped loving you. Instead of guessing about the reason, try talking to her about it. There is never a reason to "fall out of love". Usually, this is your laziness, indifference to her, loss of interest in life and much more. If she does not want to talk, you need to first pay attention to her body language.

Sooner or later she will show the real reason, just be a little more attentive to her. If she is annoyed by chores around the house, perhaps one of the main reasons is your laziness. Although she herself does not ask you for help. It is necessary to help her with household chores so that she has the strength and desire to spend the evening with you. During which disputes can be settled. This is the first step - to give her time and space for her beloved.

Many wives feel that their husbands don't listen to them. This can be especially poignant if she tells you that she is unhappy and wants a divorce, and you ignore it. If you want to restore your marriage, you need to start listening to your wife, and most importantly, respect her opinion. If she says you're drifting apart, agree with her. If she wants to talk to a psychologist about it, agree and offer to go first. Show that you care about her happiness. And most importantly, show your wife that there is nothing more important in the world than her.

Women love strong men, they love confident and independent men. And a man who, without the help of his wife, cannot find clean socks and cook himself scrambled eggs, is not at all like this. So you need to take time for yourself to become just that. Gym help you get in shape. Even if it does not give a significant result, it will make your behavior more confident. Now you go to the gym! So you need to think about where to earn extra money to spend it on your whims. This is step number two - to become what women love.

Answering the question: "Why are you better than other men", - we can say with confidence that your memories are your strength. Your wife spent a happy youth with you. She remembers that there were days when she was happy and you were by her side.

A good way to get your wife back is to replay these memories and events. Will she be pleased to be in the place where you proposed to her 20 years ago? Obviously yes. But you should not forget that now the events should also be quite bright and interesting so that she feels the taste of life and the desire to be with you.

The best way to get your wife back is to make her fall in love with you again. Also, do not forget that you have already managed to fall in love with her once, which means that you can do it again. If she loves you, she will turn a blind eye to some missteps, and the thought of divorce will not even cross her mind. Step number three - fall in love with her again.

Remember that women want to be loved forever. For them, there is no concept of completeness of the relationship. Relationships for them are daily affairs, feelings, romance and surprise. You need to show your wife that she is dear to you. It is enough to do just one thing every day. Whether it's a small gift, kind words, hugs, a compliment or a reason for surprise. She should feel that you need her every day, as a woman, and not as a cleaner and cook. Step number four - prove to her that you need her.

These steps do not describe all possible options and ways, but it will be more than enough for a man who really loves and wants his wife back. It's worth it.