Is it hard to start a conversation with a complete stranger? For many people, especially in our country, with a society not accustomed to even simple smiles on the streets to each other, to take the first step towards the young lady they like is a whole heroic feat.

An even more heroic step is an attempt to get to know each other, and often men go beyond the conditional question “how to get to the library?” with the subsequent embarrassment, the matter does not move forward.

Meanwhile, in order to start a conversation with a girl in any atypical situation, much is not needed. A little courage, a couple of pre-prepared phrases and the ability to keep the subsequent conversation on track is the basis that can develop into a pleasant acquaintance with an even more pleasant ending in an intimate setting.

Where can you start a conversation? It is better to refuse obsessive banality, although in some cases even well-known tricks “shoot out” (like the same “how to get to the library?”). Nevertheless, originality decides, and a person who approached a lady with some really funny (not vulgar, of course) joke or an intriguing question adequate to the situation has an enormous chance to interest the girl.

The further development of the situation depends on the person himself and his communication skills, as well as on the social role that was chosen by the gentleman in order to appear before the girl in the most favorable light. Yes, the chosen image also needs to be taken into account in conversations with girls, moreover, sometimes a well-played role (for example, an eternal romantic or a pleasant eccentric who fell in love at first glance) helps a successful acquaintance by 50%.

In conversations with young ladies, it is best to use topics of interest to them (which you can get an idea about during the first 10-15 minutes of meeting), give them compliments and, in general, indulge in every possible way. This immediately turns in the female eyes of any man into an interesting person with whom you can have a good time.

In general, it doesn’t even matter where to start a conversation with a girl you like: it’s important, having managed to catch attention, to interest her so much that you don’t want to part with an interesting interlocutor, at least during the entire impromptu date.

Overcoming Approach Fear and Uncertainty

No self-confident man wonders how to start a conversation with a girl. When he sees the lady he likes, he just comes up, says a banal “hello”, makes a compliment and, without straining, maintains a short dialogue, after which he takes her phone to meet in the future.

The girl is led to this, because such a situation is completely natural - a man shows his interest in a woman, as it should be. She feels his confidence and succumbs to it, reciprocating or politely refusing, which happens when she has a boyfriend / husband, or if she doesn’t like a man.

If you have problems with such acquaintances, then first of all, the reason should be sought in your own insecurity. This is not uncommon, since some guys are so insecure that even in adulthood they cannot approach a girl to ask something about the case, let alone maintain a mutually interesting conversation. Fortunately, this problem can be solved.

To begin with, let's figure out where the fear of meeting and talking with girls comes from. Here it is necessary to understand that this fear is completely subjective - it exists only in your head and has no real justification (after all, girls are not much like wild animals that can tear you to shreds when trying to get to know each other?)

The fear of starting a conversation with a girl is provoked by personal complexes, most often it is caused by:

1. Fear of rejection.
2. Fear of getting everyone's attention.
3. Low self-esteem.
4. Complexes about appearance.

Everyone has their own set of cockroaches in their head, so you need to analyze your own personality, take a notebook and write down all the problems that make you afraid of girls. Then, for each item, come up with a solution that will minimize or completely get rid of the problem. Eg:

• I have bad looks- you need to lose weight, get a good haircut, buy stylish clothes, take care of yourself;
• no money for a relationship with a girl and a place where you can bring her- you need to find a new job, move from your parents to a rented apartment, look for girls who are not demanding on material values;
• I have low self-esteem- you need to evaluate yourself not by success among the opposite sex, but by personal achievements in any business (work, hobby, sport);
• I don't know how to deal with girls- you need to consistently develop in this direction, after all, you are reading this article for a reason!

Recognizing the problem and finding a way to solve it is half the success, then everything depends on your determination and perseverance. You can read dozens of textbooks on a pickup truck, but never put the knowledge into practice and stay at the starting point. Pickup courses can help you take such an important first step. If you decide to work on yourself on your own, start doing something right now. However, there is no need to build illusions and immediately try on the image of an experienced macho, in a pickup truck, as in any other business, you need to move from small to big. For example, you can break through the initial barrier of insecurity, which prevents a girl from starting a conversation, with the following practical exercises:

1. When walking down the street, ask any girl how to get to some place nearby, listen to her, thank her and continue to follow your business.
2. When you see a pretty girl on the street going to a meeting, smile at her and say hello, you don’t need to stop.
3. Go up to any girl and compliment her on any occasion, then wish her a nice day and leave.
4. In a shopping center or store, contact the girl who makes purchases and ask her women's opinion. For example, you want to buy a handbag for your sister, but you don’t know which one to choose, and so on. Keep the conversation going for at least a few minutes, asking clarifying questions of your choice, thank the girl for her help, and say goodbye.

Each exercise must be done 20 times. Since the exercises go on increasing complexity and take you out of your comfort zone more and more, you can move on to a new one only after completing the previous item on the list. And if you overcome your own insecurities and do everything right, upon completion of this practice, you will lose the lion's share of shyness in front of girls and feel that you do not need to make a titanic effort to maintain a conversation.

How to start a conversation with a girl - a practical guide

As your confidence grows, you will realize that you absolutely do not need any secret techniques and phrases to start a conversation. However, at the first time of practice, you can use ready-made developments to make your life a little easier.

The way you start a conversation with a girl largely depends on the place of your acquaintance, which can be divided into 3 conditional categories:

1. Street.
2. Clubs and cafes.
3. Thematic places.

It is easiest to act in thematic places - at concerts, exhibitions, at the cinema, gym, on the beach, in the library, and so on. In such cases, you are already united with the girl by common interests, so to start a conversation, you can simply ask her opinion about what is happening.

Approaching girls on the street is usually more difficult for beginners; there are several ways to start a conversation here. There is such a thing as an opener - this is the first phrase that you say to a girl when you meet. They are varied, up to shocking statements that unsettle the girl, but in most cases 3 types of openers work best:

• directive - such openers directly demonstrate your interest in a girl, for example, “hello, you look cool, I want to drink a cup of coffee with you and get to know you better”;
• neutral - general phrases without a clear pretext, you ask how to get somewhere, you are interested in time, etc.;
• situational - used in the context of the case, for example, you see a girl walking a dog and are interested in what kind of breed it is, is it difficult to keep it, ask to stroke the dog.

To start a conversation with a girl, it is best for beginners to use neutral and situational openers, as they often lack the confidence needed to make directive phrases sound natural and convincing.

This approach is quite simple - you just ask a socially acceptable question, thereby starting a conversation, after which you take some phrase from her answer and transfer the conversation to a new track. During the dialogue, when the emotional barrier between strangers falls and she begins to feel comfortable, you can demonstrate your interest in the girl by complimenting her or expressing sympathy directly.

The success of a conversation with a girl primarily depends on your inner state. You must behave confidently, which is manifested in posture, eye contact (you need to make eye contact and not interrupt your gaze first), gestures (lack of nervous, jerky movements). You need to be positive, a smile on your face is a must. When communicating with a girl, never adjust from below, for example, the question " and you won't tell me whereWi— fiThere is?” immediately betrays your insecurity, while the phrase “ hi, can you please tell me where i can find the nearestWi— fi, said in a confident voice with eye contact, tells the girl about your dominance.

If you do everything right, then she will not even realize that you are deliberately driving up to her, and she will tell her friends how she accidentally managed to meet a young man, and he turned out to be so interesting that she could not resist and gave her phone number.

The logical conclusion of any acquaintance is the exchange of contacts so that in the future you can invite her on a full date. It is best to take the phone at the most positive and cheerful moment of the conversation, when she is in high spirits. Again, do not ask the girl to give a number, but guide her, you do not need to invent some tricky phrases, say in a fairly confident voice “ you are very interesting, would love to continue our conversation over a cup of coffee, give me your number».

We figured out how to start a conversation with a girl, but it is equally important to know how not to mess things up in the process of dialogue. The first rule has already been announced - no need to adapt to the girl and demonstrate that you value her status higher than your own, the key to success with any, even the most beautiful and inaccessible women, lies in confident behavior.

It is important to listen to the interlocutor. Attempts to develop a dialogue using memorized phrases do not lead to anything good, because sooner or later the patterns end and you find yourself in a stupor. Do not ignore what the girl tells you, this information is not an exhaustive source of new topics for conversation. Be interested in her personality, tastes and opinions, girls love to talk about themselves, so in most cases it will be enough just to ask questions and nod with a smile during her chatter.

For the first time after meeting, do not try to demonstrate your own superiority to her in any way, to confuse her with questions or to quibble from scratch, do not be clever, behave simply and positively, and you will not have any problems in communication.

On this topic, how to start a conversation with a girl can be considered exhausted. And remember that theory is only a small part of success - everything is decided by practice, to which it is better to move on immediately!