How to get closer to the person you like? Answers that best help to know at all stranger. These questions will help you fall in love and like a stranger.

Psychologist Arthur Aron back in 1997 picked up 36 questions, the answers to which are best to help you get to know a complete stranger. After his experiment, which involved 52 couples, one of the couples went to the altar six months later, writes The Independent. Nearly 20 years later, New York Times columnist Mandy Len Ketron decided to personally experience the magic of 36 questions - and fell in love. True, on her own behalf, she added the last item to Aron's selection: look into each other's eyes for 4 minutes.

So, 36 questions after which you can fall in love:

1. If you could choose anyone in the world, who would you invite over for dinner?

2. Do you want to become famous? How exactly?

3. Before calling, did you ever rehearse, what would you say? Why?

4. What is your ideal day?

5. When was the last time you sang to yourself? And for someone?

6. If you could live to be 90 years old, and during the last 60 years, either mind or body yourself at 30, which would you choose?

7. Do you have a secret premonition about how you will die?

8. What do you and your partner have in common? Name three things.

9. What are you most grateful for in your life?

10. If you could change one thing about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. In 3 minutes, tell your partner about your life in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow with a new quality or ability, what would you like?

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about you, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you like to know?

14. Is there something that you have been dreaming of doing for a long time? Why didn't you do it?

15. What is your biggest achievement in life?

16. What do you value most in friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your scariest memory?

19. If you knew that you would suddenly die in a year, would you change something in your life? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What role do love and sympathy play in your life?

22. Name one positive trait of your partner one by one. Name 5 traits.

23. How friendly and warm is your family? Do you feel that your childhood was happier than most people?

24. What do you think about your relationship with your mother?

25. Come up with three true statements that begin with "we." For example, "We both feel in this room..."

26. Complete the sentence: “I wish I had a person with whom I would share…”

27. If you and your partner were to become close friends, please tell them what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about him or her; be sincere, say something that you would hardly say to someone you just met.

30. When was the last time you cried in front of another person? And in loneliness?

31. Tell your partner what you already like about him.

32. What thing is too serious to joke about? If there is one.

33. If you were to die tonight without being able to contact anyone, what would you most regret not saying to someone? Why haven't you said this yet?

34. In your house, in which all your property, a fire broke out. You have already saved your loved ones and pets, now you have time to take one more thing out of the fire. What was that? Why?

35. The death of which of your relatives struck you the most? Why?

The questions we choose can be incredibly powerful. They are a powerful tool to get to the heart of the problem. They are the key that opens any door.
Andrew Sobel, Jerold Panas

In life we ​​meet many people. More or less depending on the type of activity. But not everyone becomes our friends and stay for many years.

Friendships are very easy to form in childhood. It is enough to live in the same entrance, study in the same class or have similar hobbies and hobbies. The criteria for choosing friends is very simple: almost everyone with whom they have at least something in common can become close.

Over the years, this ease of contact becomes less and less. The last frontier where you can easily find friends is a higher education institution. Then everything depends on the work, the team, etc. and so on.

Sometimes we wonder why some people get close to us and stay in our lives, while others just pass by? When you start to analyze how friendship was born, then you remember the moments of communication, not formal, personal, close.

I am often asked the question of how to cross this line from the formal business communication to something closer and more personal. Certainly there is one universal remedy which has worked flawlessly at all times. I think you guessed it - this is a feast with relaxing and strong drinks.

IN Lately trend healthy lifestyle life is gaining momentum. Many successful people have given up consumption harmful products, including alcohol. And how to be? Has it become more difficult to get closer in a relationship now?

No. The main effect that alcohol has on people is the removal of barriers and restrictions, the degree of which depends on the dose. The most important thing that happens is easy communication on various personal topics. Without hesitation, a person tells his story of life, success, failure.

It is after the disclosure of some personal secrets that people become closer. They now know each other on a deeper level, and a friendship and a more informal relationship is born.

To reach an informal level of relationship with a person who is not yet very close to you, you need to know and ask the right questions. Andrew Sobel and Jerold Panas write about them in their book Powerful Questions.

Question number 1. What brings you the most satisfaction in life?

Satisfaction is a pleasant feeling that comes after achieving goals, implementing plans, it is different from happiness. By asking such a question, you create a favorable atmosphere for revealing the deep themes of the interlocutor.

For example, you might ask: What brings you more satisfaction: work, family, relationships, hobbies? When you receive a response, please tell us more about it.

Question number 2. What are you dreaming about?

This question is more suitable for people with whom you have already established friendships and you want to make them closer. We all have dreams, and by talking about them, we open up and go out to more deep level relationships.

Question number 3. What day was the happiest in your life?

This is the most powerful question. Even if you do not get an answer to it, then believe me, you will start positive reactions in the thoughts of a person. The question is perfect for changing the atmosphere if it's not very friendly or negative.

I had interesting experience with this question. It was a meeting of the New Year 2011. I was visiting friends in St. Petersburg. A company gathered, about ten people, and the atmosphere was a little tense. There was still more than an hour until the new year.

Despite the fact that I saw many for the first time, I took the initiative. She asked the question: “What was the happiest day in the past year?” She also said that everyone must answer, the first one began, this is also a certain technique that helps people overcome the barrier.

You have no idea how much the atmosphere has changed, the faces of the guests! The room was filled with smiles and happiness, which everyone experienced again, remembering and talking about this day. Further celebration of the new year was magical! And it all started with just the right question.

Tip: see for yourself how questions work in practice. I will look forward to your comments! If you know of any other interesting questions, write, I will be very grateful!

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As a personal trainer, I use specific insightful questions to help my clients better understand themselves and to clarify their goals for me personally.

I usually ask open-ended questions that can't be answered with a simple "yes" or "no", so the client has to dig deeper and find answers they may not have thought of before. Asking the right questions can stimulate deeper and more interesting conversations and discourses, as well as set the stage for discovering common interests, forging stronger bonds, and building mutual understanding and empathy.

Asking good questions is an art. Nobody wants to feel like they're in a job interview or feel like they're being sucked out of information. An important and large part of this process lies in the ability to listen carefully to the answer and perceive what lies behind the words.

Listening also includes the ability to observe body language, listen to the tone of speech, and be sensitive to what is left unsaid. It is important to be able to ask thoughtful follow-up questions and to keep the conversation going, reflecting its essence. By learning to ask good questions and listen carefully, you will create space for a closer, stronger, and more enjoyable relationship.

We bring to your attention 25 questions that will help to start an interesting deep conversation:

1. What is your best childhood memory? This question always makes people smile and often leads to humorous and emotional conversations about family, travel, holidays, traditions, hopes, dreams, and friendships. You can learn a lot about a person who will share their childhood memories with you.

2. If you had a chance to change something in your life, what would you choose? This question can give you an idea of ​​the person's condition and who they are. You will also be able to see his weaknesses, learn about his hopes and dreams. Often, when people share their regrets or unfulfilled desires with others, it expands the range of their interactions and builds trust.

3. How did you meet? This is a great question when talking to a couple. Quite often, telling the story of a first meeting brings people together, evoking happy memories. This gives them the opportunity to share their joy and allows you to learn more about their past and how they interact with each other.

5. What kind of music do you like? The music we love helps define who we are and reflects the dreams and visions of our generation. What we listen to reflects what resonates with our soul. This most clearly and honestly reveals our inner essence and our deep convictions, which are sometimes very difficult to express in words.

6. If you could go anywhere, which place would you choose and why? This question not only allows you to discuss past travel experiences, but also helps you better understand the personality, interests, and adventurous spirit of the other person.

7. If you could only have five things, what would you choose? This question really makes people think. We are very attached to our things, but there are only a few of them that are of particular importance to us. When people are forced to determine this, you can see which material goods they value the most.

8. Which school teacher has influenced you the most and why? Teachers can play a key role in developing our love of learning, exploring our true desires, and discovering our talents. These people inspire us or simply believe in us and want the best for us.

9. Have you ever wondered what will be written on your tombstone? Although this question is a little painful, it touches on important topics, looking deep into the heart. What are we striving for? How do we want to be remembered and what do we want to leave behind?

10. What was the turning point in your life? This question allows you to go to a deeper level of communication. Often these moments occur when experiencing difficult life situations: death, divorce, job loss, etc. It is during such periods that we are forced to make huge mental, physical or emotional shifts.

11. Why did you choose this profession? The story of why a person chose a particular profession helps to learn a lot about him, about his motivations, interests, education and ambitions. We often spend most of our time at work. Therefore, the answer to this question also shows what a person decided to closely connect his life with.

12. How do you spend your free time? This question serves as an excellent addition to the previous one, making up a complete picture of how a person managed to organize his life. We will be able to learn about the interests, various hobbies and obligations of our interlocutor.

13. If you won the lottery, what would you do with the winnings? This funny question, revealing a person's attitude to money, work and life goals. Would the person quit their job? Would you buy your dream home? Or would you do something altruistic? Would a person be glad to receive a large monetary fortune, or would he wish to avoid such gifts of fate?

14. Who do you admire? The answer to this question will show who a person wants to be like. We admire people whose actions and character reflect what we want to see in ourselves. Knowing the answer, you can learn more about the true nature of the interlocutor.

15. Tell us about your three favorite books. Why did you choose them? Discussing favorite books creates space for interesting conversation and helps people to find mutual language. It also gives both parties the opportunity to learn something new and understand a different point of view or interests that they did not think about before.

16. What are you most afraid of? This question is meant to sound the ground, and yet it is capable of revealing a great deal. Every person is afraid of something and it is these fears and fears that show our vulnerabilities and painful points. When someone shares something like this with you, you need to respond with caution, kindness, and trust. You need to be respectful and sensitive about other people's fears so that they feel safe and can open up to you on a deeper level.

17. What do you understand by the word "love"? Each person has their own “love language”: words, behaviors, and attitudes that show how they express their love and make them feel loved. This is a great question for your significant other.

18. What are your strongest qualities? At first, most people are not entirely comfortable answering this question, as they try to be modest. But deep down, we all want recognition for our positive qualities. As a rule, people ask the same question to their interlocutor and this creates a positive connection between them.

19. Can you remember the most embarrassing moment? Do not take this question too seriously and then you can laugh heartily, remembering such moments. Most people like to tell funny stories about themselves, as long as they don't involve shame or guilt. Sometimes people may talk about something painful or embarrassing. Then it's time to show compassion and participation.

20. If you were president, what would be the first thing you would do? Through this question, you can learn a lot about political views, ideals, values ​​and concerns of the interlocutor. If you want to avoid lengthy arguments, just be prepared to disagree with the other person's opinion. Don't forget that we are all different and that's great. Communication completes us. Be open.

21. How old do you feel now, and why? Ask this question to people over 50 and you'll get some interesting answers. With age, many people do not feel their chronological age. It is very interesting to learn how people perceive themselves internally. It is likely that their age absolutely does not coincide with their feelings.

22. If you could witness any event from the past, present or future, which would you choose? This is a terrific question for a fascinating conversation. You can learn about the interests and goals of the interlocutor and, perhaps, be inspired to explore your own interests more deeply.

23. What skill would you like to master and why? Most people want to constantly improve for their own satisfaction. This question will give a person the opportunity not only to talk about his desires, but also to think about why he has not yet achieved success in what he wants.

24. How do you imagine a perfect day? Thinking about this question makes us return to the memories of the wonderful days we lived. The question fills the conversation with happy notes, evoking pleasant feelings and perhaps even a desire to recreate that perfect day.

25. How would your friends describe you? This question allows the person to abstract and try to see themselves from a different perspective, bringing self-awareness and honesty with themselves into the conversation, as well as making the conversation deeper and more interesting.

By asking these questions, you can also learn a lot about yourself. You show others that you are involved, interested, and respect their personality. You create strong bonds, exchange of sincere feelings and genuine information. When others feel that you appreciate them, you create the basis for a strong, mutually beneficial, wonderful relationship.

Good day, dear friends! Can you believe that you can fall in love with a person just by answering a few dozen questions?

But one psychotherapist from America claims that it is possible. Today I will show you these 30 questions that make people fall in love and you can check it out for yourself.
The list can be applied if you wish and return a warm atmosphere to them.

The most important sign of a spiritual connection can be called openness. Only by fully opening up to each other, and giving out more information about yourself, do you get closer, and your ties grow stronger.
An article appeared in one of the American newspapers that if you want to love someone, then ask him special questions, and references were made to Dr. Aron's research.

Yes, during the experiment, one couple really fell in love, and even got married.

But the purpose of the experiment was not at all this, but an attempt to bring people together. This experiment involved college students who were asked to play a game with 36 question cards divided into three parts.

Give answers for each block, it was necessary within 15 minutes. At the same time, participants could not necessarily answer all the proposed questions.

Interestingly, there were more girls in the study.

But this is not even interesting, this is how it always happens.

So the questions

The doctor himself claims that the questions can be used to get along with friends.

In this case, you can not answer directly to every question. It's just that the more you open up, the more you get closer.

Questions from Series #1

1. If you had the opportunity to invite anyone to dinner, who would you prefer? It could be close person someone famous or even a relative who has already died.
2. Would you like to become famous and in what way?
3. Do you often have to rehearse phrases before any call. Why are you doing this?
4. Could you describe your best day ever?
5. When did you have to sing alone? When did you last sing? Did you sing for anyone else?
6. Imagine that you will live 90 years. IN recent years 60, would you prefer the body of a 30 year old or the mind for the rest of your life?
7. Have you had an inexplicable premonition of what your death will be like?
8. List three traits that you and your partner have in common.
9. For what blessings would you thank fate the most?
10. If you suddenly could, what would you change in the manner of your upbringing as a child?
11. Tell your whole life in as much detail as possible, keeping within 4 minutes.
12. If you suddenly had a new skill tomorrow. What would you give up, under any pretext?

Block series №2

13. Imagine that a magic crystal could reveal the truth to you that you would like to know?
14. Is there something you have long wanted to do and why haven't you put it into action yet?
15. What is your biggest life achievement?
16. What is the most valuable thing in friendship for you?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What do you remember with horror?
19. Imagine that you suddenly found out that you will live only a year, so that you want to change in your life and why?
20. How do you understand friendship, what is it?
21. Is love and tenderness important in your life?
22. Name your partner five positive traits his character, and let him also name your traits.
23. Are there close relationships in your family?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

Series #3

25. Make up three statements that fit the two of you. For example, "we both think...".
26. Complete the sentence: "I wish there was someone to share with...".
27. If you wanted to be close friends with your partner, what would be the first thing they should know about you?
28. Tell your partner everything you really like about him. Speak directly, as if it were a random passerby.
29. Tell an unpleasant or embarrassing situation in your life.
30. When was the last time you cried in front of someone? And alone with yourself?
31. Tell your partner what you have already appreciated in him or her.
32. What topic do you think is not to be joked about?
33. If you had to end your life before the end of the day without having time to talk to someone, what would you regret that was not said? Why haven't you done this until now?
34. Imagine that your house is on fire. After saving all your loved ones and pets, if possible, save something else, what would you endure and why?
35. The death of which family member would bring you more grief and why?
36. Tell us about a personal problem and find out how your partner would deal with it. Find out what he thinks about your feelings about this issue.

Why questions have such an impact

According to the psychologist, the main reason for creating close relationships as a result of the survey is the intimacy of confessions and vulnerability.

Questions like these can awaken a relationship, even for couples who have lived together for a long time. After all, the answers help to discover our weaknesses and find out what we thought we had known about each other for a long time.
Don't get your hopes up that this list of questions will help someone fall in love with you.

It is effective in the case when some kind of spark nevertheless ran on an unconscious level.

Well, that's all for today. Ask questions, fall in love again with each other and be happy.

It only takes 45 minutes to discuss these issues, but after that time people usually become much closer to each other.

It only takes 45 minutes to discuss these questions, but after that time, people usually become much closer to each other - this is shown by studies on social psychology. You can try to answer them with your partner or just a friend, relative, to get closer and strengthen your relationship.

Each of you, in turn, must answer these questions:

1. If you could choose anyone in the world, who would you invite to dinner?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what area?

3. Before you call, do you rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What does a perfect day mean to you?

5. When was the last time you sang to yourself? And someone else?

6. If you could live to be 90 years old, but keep either the body or mind of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years, which would you choose?

7. Do you have a premonition about how you will die?

8. Name three things that you and I have in common.

9. What are you most grateful for in your life?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Try to tell the story of your life in 4 minutes in great detail.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow with a new ability, what would it be?

13. If a magic ball could tell you the truth about you, your life, future or anything else, what would you like to know?

14. Is there something that you have long dreamed of doing? Why haven't you done it yet?

15. What is the biggest achievement in your life?

16. What do you value most in friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your worst memory?

19. If you knew that you would die in a year, what would you change in your life? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What role does love play in your life?

22. Highlight my main good performance. Now name 5 of my strengths.

23. How warm are relations in your family? Do you consider your childhood happier than others?

24. What do you think about your relationship with your mother?

25. Think of three statements with the word "we". For example, "We both feel that...".

26. Complete the sentence: "I would like to have a person with whom I could ...".

27. If you want to become a close friend with a person, what should he know about you?

28. Tell me what you like about me: be honest, say something that you won't tell the first person you meet.

29. Tell me the most embarrassing or embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When was the last time you cried in front of another person? And alone with yourself?

31. Tell me what you already love about me.

32. What is too serious for you to joke about?

33. If you knew that you would die today, but could not talk to anyone, what unsaid words would you regret? Why haven't you said this yet?

34. Your house, in which everything you have lights up. After saving your loved ones and animals, you have the opportunity to save one more thing. What was that? Why?

35. The death of which of your relatives would be the most painful for you? Why?

And more options:

• If you could choose the gender and appearance of your unborn child, would you?
• Would you agree to have nightmares for a whole year for a reward of huge wealth?
• While traveling to another city, your partner spends the night with a stranger. Knowing that they will never meet again, and that there is no other way for you to know about it, would you like your partner to tell you about it?