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Mental pain is emotional suffering, unpleasant and painful in its sensations for a person. Mental pain is also referred to as the pain of the soul body and reckoned with the loss of survival potential. Often it is much more dangerous than bodily diseases, since it causes disturbances in the work of all internal organs and causes disruption throughout the body.

How to deal with heartache

Emotional suffering develops when experiencing a life event or greatly worrying about a loved one. Mental pain is often inherent in a person when his personal ideas do not coincide with what is happening in reality. This is because significant experiences leading to are due to patterns formed in the human brain, and reality is not what the individual expects it to be. All these disappointments lead to emotional suffering.

Mental pain by a person can be experienced both explicitly and covertly, when a person suffers, but does not admit it to himself.

How to deal with mental pain? A person copes with mental pain in several ways. In one case, mental pain moves from a conscious sensation to the subconscious and the individual mistakenly believes that he is no longer suffering. In fact, what happens is that a person simply avoids pain, and transfers it to the subconscious.

If an individual is inclined to demonstrate his actions and feelings, then this means that he gives vent to his mental pain. A person in such cases begins to consult with friends, acquaintances, seeks salvation in eliminating the root of the problem.

For example, if relationships with parents cause mental pain, then a person is looking for everything. possible ways in finding a common language with them.

If a person has chosen a method of avoidance, then this method is expressed in not recognizing the problem, often the individual says that everything is fine with him and does not even admit to himself in personal experiences. In this case, mental pain persists, passing into an implicit, subconscious form. This state is very difficult to cope with, it is painful for a person, much more emotional than an open confession, as well as saying the problem out loud.

How to get rid of mental pain

It is very difficult to get rid of latent pain, it is characterized by a protracted (for years!) course. At the same time, a person's character, relationships with others change. A person with mental pain begins to attract negative people to himself, gradually changing the level of acquaintances, or completely abandons them, forever excluding communication with people.

Often, emotional suffering does not allow an individual to create, work, it torments him, and a person often does not understand what is happening to him. Separate situations are able to remind a person of those moments that caused pain in his soul many years ago. This is due to the fact that emotions were driven into the subconscious many years ago, so a person cries and worries, not fully understanding what is happening to him, for example, after watching a emotional scene from a movie. In cases where you cannot cope with mental pain on your own, you need the help of a specialist or a loved one who is ready to listen to you.

Heartache after a breakup

Psychological reactions to the end of a relationship with a loved one have much in common with the reaction to physical loss, namely, the death of a loved one. The emotional pain after parting with a loved one can drag on for many months and years. During this period, a person is acutely worried. Experiences include stages of resentment, denial and pain.

Initially, there is a stage of denial, which manifests itself in the subconscious refusal of a person to objectively relate to the breakup and be aware of the end of the relationship.

The pain after a breakup is aggravated by the realization that a loved one is no more, and will never be there again. The moment a person realizes and accepts reality, he will stop suffering. This understanding does not come overnight. The duration of this period depends on the continuation of contacts with the former lover. To make it easier and faster to go through this stage of mental suffering, psychologists advise to abandon all contacts, as well as get rid of all objects that remind of past relationships.

The period of denial is replaced by a period of resentment, which is characterized by accusations former lover in all sins and the desire of the offended to take revenge, especially if the reason for the gap was treason.

Psychologically, this is understandable: blaming another person is much easier than admitting part of your guilt in a similar situation yourself. This stage is marked by the emergence of an emotional block: there is a loop on negative experiences, which significantly delays the period of psychological recovery. At the next stage of the life crisis, worries about lost time in relationships that were in vain develop. Such experiences are accompanied by a fear of loneliness, as well as the uncertainty of the future, the fear that it will not be possible to build new relationships.

Most psychologists are inclined to believe that tears, suffering and reflection in loneliness are an obligatory, as well as a necessary part in overcoming this life crisis. There is nothing wrong with wanting to cry. Allow yourself to suffer and cry - this will bring relief and lead to recovery.

If, nevertheless, a decision was made to break up, then the lost relationship should not be restored, and for this reason, indulge in sad memories, call, and also meet. This will only slow down and make it more difficult to overcome emotional suffering.

Women often need more time than men to forget about former partner because for women, love for a man is the most important part of life. For a man, the priority in life is often work, as well as a career. In addition, it is usually easier for men to find a new partner.

Psychologists advise, left alone, to do. If, nevertheless, for two years, mental pain after parting worries, then it is necessary to consult a psychologist or psychotherapist who will help in solving this problem.

Severe mental pain

Edwin Shneidman American psychologist gave the following unique definition of mental pain. It is not like physical or bodily pain. Mental pain is manifested in experiences that are often caused by the grieving person himself.

Mental pain, filled with suffering, is an expression of the loss of the meaning of life. It is marked by torment, longing, confusion. This state gives rise to loneliness, grief, guilt, humiliation, shame, before the inevitability - aging, death, physical illness.

Eliminating the cause of suffering helps to get rid of severe mental pain. If the cause of emotional suffering is the negative behavior of a person regarding you, then in this case it is necessary to eliminate these causes, and not extinguish your emotions regarding this person. For example, if you are having trouble with your boss that provoked heartache, then you should work on your relationship with him, and not on your emotions and how you feel about it. Should be found mutual language or quit.

If emotional suffering is caused by an irreparable situation (illness or death), then you should work on the perception of reality and your emotions.

Mental pain lasts from six months to a year with the loss of a loved one. Only after this period of time, psychologists advise building new relationships in order not to repeat the same mistakes.

How to relieve mental pain? It is necessary to admit to yourself that an unpleasant situation has already occurred. This can alleviate your condition.

Second, go through the period of pain and come to your senses. Then we build a new future, but without these circumstances or this person. For example, without a favorite job or a loved one. Mentally build everything in detail, how you will live on. Often the real world becomes in a person the way he sees it in his imagination.

Often, severe mental pain is hidden under other masks and is confused with anger, disappointment, resentment.

How to deal with severe emotional pain? Find people who are worse off than you. Show them care. This way you will switch from your problem.

Master the system of correct breathing: with a long inhalation and a short exhalation. Proper breathing can help your cells recover quickly, strengthen the nervous system.

Say something nice to people every day, positive emotions will also be transferred to you.

Keep a daily routine, get enough sleep, this will help restore nerve cells.

Take your mind off your worries by dancing, jogging, walking, push-ups, physical exercises. Sign up for a massage.

Avoid the return of intense mental suffering. Scientists are inclined to believe that a person stays in a state of depression for a quarter of an hour, and the rest of the time he creates mental suffering for himself, prolonging and aggravating them. That's why great importance has the ability not to return mental pain again, which is facilitated by situations from the past that provoked experiences.

Doctor of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMedoMed"

Sometimes we love a person so much that it leaves deep wounds in our soul. The pain of being rejected is nothing less than the physical pain. And it doesn't really matter if your boyfriend suggested breaking up after a long relationship, or if a new acquaintance refused to go on a date with you. Healing spiritual wounds is a very long process, but you need to gather your strength and go on a long journey to a renewed self.

Steps

Part 1

Give yourself time

1. Allow yourself to feel sadness. Heart wounds are always painful. You cannot ignore the fact that your experiences are causing you pain. This means that you must give yourself time to process the emotions that come with the pain. With these feelings, your brain is literally telling you how badly what happened hurt you. There is no need to artificially suppress these emotions in yourself.

   • Create a healing space. You need time and space to process your emotions and give vent to your bitter feelings. When you feel emotional pain, try to find a quiet place where you can cope with the wave of emotions that overwhelmed you. Sometimes it’s enough to go for a walk, retire to your room or just make yourself a cup of aromatic tea.
   • When a person experiences mental pain, he goes through certain stages of this process, during which he experiences such feelings as anger, pain, grief, anxiety, fear and acceptance of what happened. Sometimes you may feel like you are literally drowning in your own emotions, but if you can determine exactly how you go through each stage of the experience, this will help you experience the healing process easier and a little faster.
   • Try not to drown in your despair. There is a clear difference between simply giving yourself time to process your emotions and being completely overwhelmed by them. If you find yourself staying home for weeks, forgetting to take a shower, and life seems meaningless to you, you should seek professional advice as soon as possible. psychological help. These are signs that the grief process is too difficult for you to handle on your own.

2. Live for today. If you want to deal with all emotions at once and get rid of heartache immediately, you are probably setting yourself an impossible task. Instead, move from one stage to the next gradually, and always live for today.

   • A good way to focus on a particular moment in your life is to try to live for today. When you catch yourself on the fact that your thoughts again and again return to the past, stop yourself. Look around: what do you see now? what smell do you smell? What color is the sky above your head? what are your fingers touching? and the wind blows in your face?
   • Don't start coming up with a grand plan to get over the person who broke your heart. On the contrary, if you focus on how to deal with your grief, it will happen by itself.

3. Indifference. When a relationship ends or you are rejected, you will probably feel like there is a huge hole inside of you all of a sudden. A huge black hole that consumes all the happiness from your life. At this point, many people make the mistake of trying to immediately fill this hole with something, because they are unable to bear this painful sensation. Yes, this feeling causes you great pain, and you have the right to feel empty inside.

   • Create a space for yourself where your ex isn't. Delete his phone number and you won't be able to text him when you've had too much to drink. Put him on the "black list" in all social networks, otherwise you will find out at one point that you are looking at new photos in his account all night long. Don't ask mutual friends how your ex is doing. The more clearly you understand that the breakup has finally occurred, the easier it will be for you to heal after it.
   • Don't try to immediately fill the void left by broken love. This is one of the most common mistakes people make when trying to heal their emotional wounds. When you try to immediately start a new relationship in order to stop feeling pain and fill the void left by the previous feeling, it does not really help you go through the necessary stages of coping with the loss. Your unlived negative feelings will return to you sooner or later, but they will become even stronger and more painful.

4. Tell about it. You need to make sure you have reliable support to deal with the pain. The solid support of your friends and family, and even your therapist, will get you back on your feet sooner than anything else. Of course, close people will not fill the void that a loved one has left in your soul, but they can help you deal with this void better.

   • Find a close friend or relative with whom you can talk about your feelings, especially on long, lonely evenings. Try to find a person, or several people, who can give you emotional support to make up for the loss of support you received from your partner in an ending relationship. Ask your friends for permission to call them every time you feel an irresistible urge to talk to the person you are trying to get rid of feelings for now.
   • A diary can be incredibly helpful in this situation. This is not only a good way to let your feelings out, especially if you don't want to put all the burden of your suffering on your friends, it's also effective remedy, which allows you to evaluate the progress made. After rereading old records, you suddenly realize that now you are much less likely to think about your ex or notice that you want to go on dates again (Actually, and not just to "fill the void left inside left by broken love").
   • Sometimes you may need to talk with a psychologist or psychotherapist. There is no shame in seeking professional help!

5. Get rid of things that trigger memories. If you are constantly bumping into objects that evoke memories of past love, it will only slow down your healing process. Don't keep old house pants that your ex used to wear after work in the closet, get rid of this stuff.

   • There is no need to ritually burn everything that reminds you of past relationships, especially if these things can be given to people who need them. But you absolutely must remove these things from your life, one way or another. Also, depending on how bad your breakup was, the ritual burning of things can unleash a flurry of feelings that were previously locked in your heart.
   • Take a thing and try to remember what exactly you associate with it. Then imagine that you have placed these memories in balloon. When you get rid of the thing, imagine that the ball flies far, far away and will never bother you again.
   • If you still have valuables in good condition, you can donate them to charity. In this case, you can imagine how much joy this thing will bring to the new owner.

6. Help other people. If you start helping others, especially those who are experiencing the same feelings as you, you can take your mind off your own experiences. It also means that you are not drowning in your own suffering and self-pity.

   • Take the time to listen to your friends and help them if they are having difficulty. Don't just focus on your own heartache. Tell your friends that they can always count on you to listen and help if they need it.
   • Get involved in volunteer work. Find a job at a homeless shelter or charity canteen. Offer your help at rehabilitation centers or animal shelters.

7. Give free rein to your imagination. You will imagine how your ex came back to you and talks about how stupid he was for letting you leave. You can imagine in detail how you hug and kiss this person, imagine in detail your intimacy. Such fantasies are completely normal.

   • The more you try to stop your imagination, the more often such thoughts will come to your mind. When you try not to think about something, especially if you have imposed this severe restriction on yourself, in fact, you think only about it all the time.
   • Set aside special times when you allow yourself to fantasize, so you don't spend all your time in an imaginary world. For example, you can give yourself 15 minutes a day to think about how your ex wants to be with you again. If these thoughts occur to you at another time, put them aside until the time slot for fantasy comes. You don't refuse to think about it, you just put it off until later.

   Part 2

   Beginning the healing process

   1. Avoid anything that triggers memories. If you have already gotten rid of all the things that trigger memories, as described in the first part of the article, this will help you avoid such moments. However, there are other things that you should keep in mind. Of course, you won't be able to avoid them completely, but at least try not to specifically look for them. This will help you recover faster.

      • The reason could be anything from the song that played on your first date to the little coffee shop where you spent so much time together studying for your exams. It might even be a smell.
      • You may encounter this even when you don't expect it at all. If this happened, determine what exactly triggered your memories, and what kind of memories this factor caused. Then try to switch to something else. No need to linger on these feelings and memories. For example, when you stumble upon a shared photo on Facebook, admit to yourself that you feel sad and sorry about it, and then try to think of something positive, or at least neutral. You might think about a new dress you will wear tomorrow, or that it would be nice to have a kitten.
      • This does not mean that you should do your best to avoid such moments that provoke memories. You won't be able to do this. All you have to do is just try to avoid the things that hurt you and make you regret the past as little as possible. You need your spiritual wounds to heal.

   2. Good music will help you heal faster. It has been proven that music can have a therapeutic effect and help speed up the healing process. Listen to upbeat, energetic songs. Scientific research showed that when you listen to such music, endorphins are released in your body, which help you perk up and overcome stress.

      • Try not to include sentimental, romantic love songs. This kind of music will not help release endophins in your brain. On the contrary, such songs will only increase your sadness and disturb your spiritual wounds.
      • When you find that sad feelings are flooding back into you, it's time to turn on energetic music to perk up. If you turn dance music, then you can simultaneously receive endorphins from listening to peppy music and energetic dance moves.

   3. Take a break from heartache. After you have passed the initial stage, when you gave yourself the opportunity to grieve and cope with your emotions, it is time to take your mind off the unpleasant thoughts. When you start thinking about your ex, do something, try to switch your thoughts to something else, come up with some new activity for yourself, etc.

      • Call those friends who said you can always count on them if you need help. Read the book you've been wanting to read for a long time. Put on some hilarious comedy (and get an added bonus because laughter helps you get well).
      • The more you do to stop thinking about your past and your mental anguish, the faster you will feel better. Of course it's difficult. It is very difficult to control your thoughts all the time and keep track of how much time you spend thinking about your heartache.
      • Try not to get carried away with "painkillers." It may be something that allows you to stop feeling pain for a while. Sometimes you really need something to give yourself a break from the heartache. However, be careful that these distractions don't hurt you, especially in the beginning when you need to learn how to deal with negative experiences. This "pain reliever" can be alcohol or drugs, but it can also be continuous TV viewing or a constant presence on the Internet. Or even the food you eat just to feel calmer.

   4. Change your lifestyle. One of the problems that you face is that the habitual way of life that was formed when you were together was suddenly destroyed. If you start doing something new and change your habitual lifestyle, this will open the door to new habits. There will be no place in your new life for the person who broke your heart.

      • You don't need to drastically change your life to get rid of old habits. Do simple things like go shopping on Saturday morning instead of lying in bed; try listening to a new style of music, or discover a new hobby like karate or flower gardening.
      • Try not to make radical changes in your life before you have carefully weighed the pros and cons. Especially try to avoid drastic changes at the beginning, immediately after the breakup. If enough time has passed and you want to show that you are really changing, then it's time to get something like a new tattoo or shave your hair bald.
      • If you have the opportunity to take a short vacation, go on a trip. Even if you take a weekend trip to some new city for you, it will help you take a fresh look at what happened.

   5. Don't interfere with your own healing. Of course, there are relapses from time to time when you're trying to bounce back from a failed relationship. This is normal, this is also part of the healing process. But there are some things that you can foresee and thereby prevent them from throwing you back in your movement towards a new life.

      • Pay attention to the words you usually use. When you say "Awesome!" or "Terrible" or "Nightmare!", you continue to see the world in black. This creates negative thinking. If you can't think positively, at least try to stick to neutral terms. For example, instead of saying, "It's over forever!", say, "This breakup was very painful for me, but I'll do my best to get through it."
      • Try not to embarrass yourself. You don't have to drive past your ex's house every night to see if he's found a date. Try not to call or text your ex while you're drinking. These things only keep you from moving forward.
      • Remember that everything changes in this world. Your feelings today will be very different in a week, a month or a year. We promise that the time will come when you will be able to calmly remember this period of your life without feeling pain.

   Part 3

   Accept what happened

   1. Stop blaming. An important part of your healing and acceptance of what happened is to understand that it is useless to blame yourself or another person. What happened happened, so you can no longer do or say something to change what happened, so what's the use of blaming.

      • Try to find good feelings towards the other person. No matter what he did or didn't do, try to find compassion in your heart for him and what is happening to him. This does not mean that you should immediately forgive him, it only means that you will stop being angry with the person.
      • On the other hand, don't blame yourself for everything. You can acknowledge and reflect on what exactly you did wrong in previous relationships and promise yourself that you won't repeat past mistakes in the future. But don't waste time reliving your own missteps over and over again.

   2. Feel when you are ready to move forward. It takes different times for people to heal from heartache. It is impossible to name a specific period of time that you will need, but there are signs by which you can determine that you are moving in the right direction.

      • You no longer worry if you find several missed calls from an unknown number on your phone.
      • You no longer visualize the scene that your ex comes back to you and begs you for forgiveness on his knees.
      • You no longer find associations with your life in films and songs about unhappy love. You notice that now you like to read and listen to things that have nothing to do with this topic.

   3. Try to understand who you really are. There is one thing that usually goes unnoticed while you are in a relationship with someone, and during the first stage of grief after the end of that relationship. This is the ability to be yourself. For a long time you felt like a part of your couple, and then - someone who grieves for a lost relationship.

      • Work on your personal development, both external and internal. Go in for sports or change your appearance. These things are great for boosting self-esteem, which must have suffered during a breakup. Determine which personality traits you need to work on. For example, if you tend to be passive-aggressive when you're in a bad mood, try to work on finding healthier ways to express your anger.
      • Develop character traits that reflect your uniqueness. When you're spending all your time with another person or trying to deal with the aftermath of a breakup, you tend to pay less attention to your personal interests. Try to reconnect with the people you didn't have time to communicate with during the period of the relationship and after the breakup, and again do what you are really interested in.
      • Try something new. This can help you meet new people who have never met the person who broke your heart. Learning new things can help your brain take its mind off the heartache and start living in the present.

   4. Try not to go back to the past. You do not want to interfere with the process of healing from spiritual wounds, so do not do anything that will provoke your mental suffering again. Sometimes this cannot be completely avoided, but you can try to keep the risk to a minimum.

      • Don't let this person come into your life too soon, or at all. You will only inflame your own spiritual wounds and feel your unhappiness with the same sharpness. Sometimes it's impossible to be friends with an ex.
      • If you still did it, don't despair. The work that you have done to heal from spiritual wounds has not been in vain. You will still win. Do not give up. When it comes to relationships, everyone has experienced relapses of heartache in one way or another.

   5. Do what brings you joy. When you do something that brings you joy and happiness, you cause a rise in dopamine levels in the brain. This Chemical substance, which helps a person feel happy and deal with stress (its level can rise to a critical level after a breakup).

      • Do things that don't evoke memories of your past. Start doing something new or go back to the hobbies you gave up when you were in a relationship.
      • Learn to be happy. People are more willing to communicate with those who are happy, because happy people help others feel happy too. Of course, you can't force yourself to feel happy all the time, but try to do the things that bring you joy and live the life that makes you feel happy.
      • Reward yourself for every small victory. If you haven't thought about your ex all day, reward yourself with a delicious smoothie or a piece of cake.
   • Continue to love yourself, even if it seems like an impossible task. In the long run, this will make you stronger.
   • By helping other people, you help yourself. Let's people good advice and don't show negative feelings.
   • A good joke will make you laugh even in this difficult time. Even if it seems inappropriate for you to have fun at such a moment, laugh - and life will become a little happier!

   Warnings

   • Do not rely solely on our advice. If you feel that you have become worse, consider that you may need professional psychological help.
   • There is no need to hurt yourself, even if you feel like you have lost the love of your life.

heartache

03.08.2018

Pozharisky I.

Heartache is familiar to many people. Its occurrence, as a rule, is associated with the development of unpleasant events that destroy the habitual worldview of the individual, […]

Heartache is familiar to many people. Its occurrence, as a rule, is associated with the development of unpleasant events that destroy the habitual worldview of the individual, devastate its internal resource. During this period, nothing is cute, the usual things annoy, you don’t want to talk to anyone. Often this condition is caused by parting with a loved one. From many experiences nervous system he simply can’t stand it: attacks of aggression begin, his voice trembles, in some cases he is haunted by fear and obsessive states appear. All the unpleasant symptoms are quite understandable, so you should not be afraid of it.

Causes of mental pain

Nothing in the world just happens. In order for mental pain to manifest itself, good reasons are needed. Each person reacts to certain stimuli, to what is more significant specifically for him. Let us consider in more detail what factors cause malfunctions in the nervous system.

Disappointments in love

Heartache from love happens incredibly often. falling in love with certain person, we can never guess what a new acquaintance will result in, what it will lead to. Even if at first the individual made a good impression on us, this does not mean that this will continue in the future. People make mistakes, commit rash acts, offend each other. Experiencing another disappointment in love, a person often feels depressed, useless and lonely.

job loss

Unfortunately, the economic situation in the country and beyond cannot be called stable. Losing a job can even lead to depression if a person does not receive moral and financial support from friends and acquaintances in time. For almost all people, one of the most terrifying experiences is the prospect of losing Money. Many immediately begin to imagine the terrible consequences of such changes, and, above all, they relate to the external prosperous life. The loss of an influential position makes you feel humiliated, trampled and uninteresting. Even if a great potential is hidden inside the personality, but there is no opportunity to show it at least somehow, the person will feel his uselessness and is unlikely to quickly recover from the shock.

Loss of a loved one

Sometimes in life there are completely unforeseen events: the departure of a loved one, associated with divorce or death. In this case, mental pain becomes simply colossal and it is not so easy to get rid of it. In most cases, people try to fasten themselves, not to show their feelings in front of others. This is not very helpful, because true emotions are not expressed, but are suppressed under the weight of fear or shame. The loss of a loved one is always very painful. It seems that the world has ceased to exist, the brain refuses to accept terrifying information for a long time.

Manifestation of emotional pain

Recognizing it is quite easy. Any person who suffers cannot fail to notice this. Sometimes we very successfully disguise ourselves in front of others, but it is hardly possible to deceive ourselves. When thinking about how to cope with any shock, you should remain extremely frank with yourself.

Reluctance to leave home

After a lot of stress, sometimes you want to hide in some dark corner and not show any signs of your existence at all. The reluctance to leave the house is dictated by the fact that the individual does not expect anything good from the outside world. The stronger the stress experienced, the longer it may take to recover. Some individuals give in to their desire and literally do not show their nose to the street. Sometimes additional help is not required, but this is only if the individual does not have a tendency to escape from reality.

Feelings of despair and longing

We all tend to be disappointed in what brought us mental discomfort or just scared. For example, after parting with a loved one, a feeling of catastrophic hopelessness may appear. It seems that life ends, and you can never feel better. In fact, everything is not so. It just takes more time before such an understanding comes to mind. The feeling of longing and despair is natural. Sometimes negative emotions are so overwhelming that you want to literally scream from injustice. During this period, both men and women are extremely susceptible to the destructive effects of depression. Many turn to alcohol and drugs in order to somehow free themselves from mental constraint.

Nervous consequences

A person who has suffered some kind of shock sometimes finds a characteristic rash on the body, various fears or disturbing thoughts. All these manifestations indicate that the situation was not comprehended and worked out. Often, the individual does not understand at all what is happening to him and tries with all his might to overcome unpleasant symptoms. Nervous consequences happen not only in advanced cases. Sometimes they accompany through life too impressionable persons who do not know how to work on themselves. Their state of mind can either worsen or improve again without additional external influences. Each person experiences grief, loss, or any other shock in their own way. Unfortunately, not everyone has the strength not to give up and go to the end.

How to get rid of mental pain

Severe mental pain needs correction. You can’t let the situation take its course and hope that everything will go away on its own, without any effort on your part. Taking into account the irreversible consequences of the psyche and various disorders, it is necessary to choose the right methods of influence and not neglect the appeal to a specialist. How to get rid with a sense of hopelessness and despair? Let's consider in more detail.

Opportunity to speak out

She must be. If you do not have such a person whom you could unconditionally trust, then you need to try to find him. The opportunity to speak out gives a lot: it relaxes the psyche, allows you to stop being ashamed of your problem. Sometimes it is enough to consult with a friend to make it easier. After all, if we keep everything in ourselves, it becomes generally difficult to manage our lives. The nervous system is subjected to a great load. The emotional pain of a girl often goes away after a nice friendly meeting, which is full of sincerity and mutual respect. No need to try with all your might to hide your feelings just so as not to seem to others as a weak and weak-willed person. Firstly, often people do not even think about judging you for something. Secondly, everyone at a certain time needs support, wants to be understood.

Relaxation practice

It works very well if you do the exercises regularly, without allowing yourself to shirk from classes. You can choose suitable melodies for yourself that will inspire new victories. It is very useful to use breathing practices. To be able to relax the body, thoughts is very important. Then any stress will bypass you and will not cause inconvenience. The beauty of relaxation practice is that you can devote as much time to it as you can spare. You can study every day if time permits, while knowing that you will definitely grow on your own problem. It is impossible to be strong all the time, you need to be able to relax.

Taking responsibility

This must be done mentally before taking the main steps to restore peace of mind. It must be remembered that the end result depends only on you. If you want to change yourself, then everything will work out. Acceptance of responsibility implies that a person gives up the idea of ​​blaming other people for their own failures. Sometimes people around you don't even know what you're experiencing. You can't blame relatives just because they don't listen to you well enough and don't perceive your words. You should not become a narcissistic egoist, to whom everyone around is indebted.

Working with a specialist

If you don't know how to ease the heartache and it continues long time don't be afraid to ask for help. Today, working with a psychologist is very valuable. That is why more and more people prefer not to be silent about their problems, but to speak out in time. You should not think that only those who are morally weak seek the advice of competent experts, in fact this is not the case. A person at any time may need participation and support. There is no need to limit yourself if you feel you need help. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of in this. The main difficulty lies only in how to find a good worthy psychologist. After all, a lot in life will depend on the result obtained.

Thus, the inflicted mental pain is not yet a reason to become limp and stop believing in people. Believe me, bad things happen to everyone. The only difference is that some people are ready to fight their internal state while others plunge into the world of sadness and stay there for a long time. If you do not know how to solve the problem that worries you, feel free to contact the psychologist Irakli Pozharisky for advice. Together with a professional, you will come to an understanding of what is really happening to you, outline ways out of the impasse.

There is physical and mental pain. The first fight is quite simple, because modern medicine can quickly determine its source and prescribe the necessary course of treatment. But with mental pain, everything is much more complicated. Therefore, many people live with it for years, without fully understanding what caused it to appear.

But psychology does not stand still. Having dug into the back streets of consciousness, experts learned a lot about the human psyche, in particular, about how to get rid of mental pain. By following simple tips, you can not only overcome your inner suffering, but also regain lost happiness.

Heartache: what is it?

It is very difficult to give an exact description of this phenomenon. After all, the inner world cannot be measured, touched, and even more so seen. But at the same time, the sensations during psychological trauma are no less painful than with a fracture or burn, and sometimes they can be much worse.

So what is heartache? First of all, this is a feeling caused by consciousness in response to an emotional shock. Depending on the cause of its appearance, the pain can be both barely perceptible and heartbreaking. But even after small shocks, a person feels overwhelmed and broken, as if he had run out of electricity.

And if nothing is done, then soon the pain will be supplemented by despair. And when the hands drop completely, depression will come. And it is much more difficult to fight this enemy, and sometimes without the help of a specialist it is completely impossible.

But before you know how to deal with mental pain, you should understand its sources. After all, the only way to defeat her without hurting yourself.

Where do emotional upheavals come from?

Many are sure that spiritual experiences can arise only after serious emotional upheavals. For example, the death of a loved one, the discovery of a serious illness, an accident, betrayal, and so on. Naturally, such life upheavals will affect the human psyche, but the truth is that in most cases, less noticeable reasons become the causes of mental pain.

So what can break inner harmony and let the confusion into the soul?

1. life under the mask. IN modern world often you have to lie, not only to others, but also to yourself. This is necessary to put yourself in the best light - to become more significant. But you will have to pay for a lie with your peace of mind, because our consciousness does not like to be played with. And even more so, it will not calmly accept the fact that they want to change it.

2. Backlog. Quite often, mental pain arises from dissatisfaction with one's own actions. For example, when because of work you have to sacrifice the performance of a child, or when, instead of going to the gym, a person lay on the couch all day. All these unfulfilled dreams, plans and meetings fall like a dead weight on the shoulders and are guaranteed to lead to emotional depression.

3. Impotence. Lack of money, strength, beauty, health, knowledge - this list can be continued for a very long time, but the essence is the same - impotence. When a person cannot get what he wants, he suffers.

There is nothing worse than unrequited love

Heartache from love is a separate case. Unlike other troubles, unrequited feelings can hurt a lot. And than more people seeks to get the object of his sigh, the stronger the pain bites into the heart.

In such cases, it is often said that a person seems to be drying up. This is partly true, because apart from dreams of a loved one, he is not interested in anything. It becomes completely unimportant what is happening around, what kind of people surround and what to do next.

And in order to save its owner from danger, consciousness sends him an alarm signal - pain. In this way, the brain tries to make a person look around, to understand that it is impossible to live like this any longer.

Three strict bans

Before embarking on your own healing, you should remember one important rule: never slide into the abyss of vice. Indeed, during this period, the temptation is very great, and, alas, many succumb to it, making more and more attempts to extinguish their pain with the help of alcohol, nicotine and drugs.

This method not only does not relieve pain, but also increases emotional experience. The feeling of own lack of will complements the already gray picture, pushing to give up. Having embarked on this path, a person is deprived of the opportunity to reason sensibly, which will certainly lead to defeat.

Therefore, it is worth putting alcohol, drugs and cigarettes under a strict ban. This will not only help you concentrate on finding a solution to the problem, but also keep you healthy. And, as you know, it is worth its weight in gold. Much better to get addicted to green tea, it is not only healthy, but also able to lift your spirits a little.

Awareness is the first step to peace of mind

As mentioned above, mental pain has many faces. Therefore, it is important to understand what was the reason for her this time. Looking into yourself, you should understand your own feelings, how long ago they appeared.

In most cases, the answer lies on the surface, you just have to take a closer look, and there it is. After that, it will be much easier to solve the problem, because, knowing the enemy in person, you can build a war strategy.

But sometimes there are several sources of emotional excitement, and they are so closely intertwined that it is difficult to distinguish them from each other. Therefore, even when the main problem is found, the search should continue, because who knows what else is hidden from the eyes.

Perhaps at first such a study of one's own consciousness will not be easy, but one should not stop. Over time, such a practice will become habitual, moreover, the brain will take it for granted, opening access to hidden corners of consciousness.

Not all problems can be solved

Sometimes it is impossible to eliminate the cause of mental pain. For example, it is impossible to resurrect a dead person, erase memories of a loved one, become different at one moment, and so on. What to do then? How to deal with mental pain?

Answer: no way. It is simply impossible to completely get rid of such pain, no matter how much time passes. The only thing left is to learn to live with this feeling, to accept it as part of yourself. This will help to reduce the strength of the pain just enough so that you can safely coexist with it.

Although this does not seem like a very happy prospect, it is the reality. And to accept it means to embark on the path of deliverance from suffering. This is the only way to get the much-desired peace and begin to experience joyful feelings again.

Eat, sleep and walk

Due to emotional stress, the body weakens, as a result, it becomes more and more difficult to deal with problems. Therefore, it is very important not to forget about things like sleep, food and outdoor activities.

1. Lying down in bed, a person is left alone with his problems, because of this it is sometimes very difficult to fall asleep. But you need to understand that without a night's rest, the brain does not work well, which will further aggravate the situation. To fall asleep faster, you should use counting rhymes, they help to distract and relax.
2. Healthy food. You should not seize stress with anything, otherwise problems with the stomach will be added to the appendage of mental trauma. It is also worth taking care of the daily norm of vitamins and minerals, they will strengthen not only the body, but also the psyche.
3. Walks. Even if in such times you want to hide from the world, you should not do this. Short walks around the area will not only enrich the blood with oxygen, but also help to unwind a little. The main thing is not to delve into yourself, but try to catch something new in the surrounding landscape.

Sport is the best doctor

Nothing dispels sadness like active training. Fortunately, in the modern world there are a huge number of various sports clubs and gyms so finding the right one won't be too difficult.

Sport is not only able to distract from current problems, but also can temper the will. It will make the mind more resistant to psychological stress and stress. He teaches us to win and overcome our own fears and failures.

The most difficult thing in this method is to take the first step, go beyond the threshold and go to the right address. And if you didn’t manage to force yourself, then at least you should start doing exercises in the morning. Albeit not much, but it will help.

Visits to a psychologist

How to get rid of mental pain, experts know. A qualified psychologist will not only help you find the cause of suffering, but also suggest the most effective ways her decisions. Unfortunately, many people are afraid of such meetings, because, in their opinion, this is a manifestation of weakness, and sometimes even worse - a mental disorder.

But the reality is that a psychologist can really help. And if you make an effort on yourself and turn to it, you can avoid many problems, including the appearance of depression.

But be that as it may, one thing is important - mental pain exists, and it must be fought. There are many methods for this, but their essence is one thing - move forward, no matter what happens.

It happens when the earth leaves from under the feet from the loss of a loved one: separation, illness, death. A special world has been built with this person. How to live if the world will not be the same? How to ease the heartache, if the relationship dear to the heart is not revived? Maybe be patient and wait?

The bad has already happened. The misfortune happened not in the movies, but in real life. ?

Time cures?

It happens when the earth leaves from under the feet from the loss of a loved one: separation, illness, death. A special world has been built with this person. The heart stores experiences from a joint move to a new apartment, the birth of children or walks in the park. You remember with what expression he rejoices, sad or grumbles. You know how many sugar cubes he likes to add to his tea. And suddenly the usual way is crossed out.

How to live if the world will not be the same? How to appease if the relationship dear to the heart is not revived? Maybe be patient and wait? Training by Yuri Burlan "Systemic Vector Psychology" offers another way - to understand the causes of mental pain and with the help of psychoanalysis.

The word is first aid

Even years after the departure of a loved one, it can be painful to re-read the letters addressed to you, in which he shared his innermost experiences. At best, the pain of separation - or betrayal, violence - dulls over the years. But liberation from emotional suffering does not have to wait passively. Just the opposite. For the treatment of pain from a spiritual wound, time is not worth wasting.

First aid for severe mental shock is to speak out.

There is an opinion that when a person has experienced stress, he should be left alone with his feelings and “not reopen the wound.” In fact, to cope with mental pain, you need to immediately start talking with a loved one about what happened. Do not close emotions in yourself, do not hold back tears, do not suppress painful experiences. And do not ignore any painful memory.

If emotional suffering is associated with the fact that a person can no longer be returned, it is advisable to discuss as many happy moments and feelings associated with him as possible. Talk about his achievements and virtues. Such memories will smooth out the bitterness of loss, making room for light sadness.

It is important to speak out as soon as possible after a traumatic event, otherwise negative experiences will be forced into the unconscious. If this happens, it will be more difficult to cope with mental pain later.

It is important to observe safety precautions. Approach with seriousness the choice of a person for a sincere conversation. Make sure that he takes care of your emotions, heartache.

This method can be regarded as first aid, like artificial respiration. When this tool from the psychological "first aid kit" has completed its task, a person needs a resource in order to live on.

How to live on?

People can experience a difficult situation in different ways, and the consequences of loss manifest themselves differently depending on the characteristics of the human psyche.

Emotional suffering

There are people for whom breaking an emotional connection is especially painful. System-vector psychology defines them as representatives.

Emotions are important for people with this type of psyche. In one hour, they can experience the whole gamut of experiences from fear to love. They seek to build emotional ties with people with whom they can exchange hidden feelings or give the warmth of the soul.

The loss of emotional connections makes their soul hurt. Due to unbearable suffering, visual people after an experienced trauma can close, avoid further expression of feelings. This is how they lead themselves into a trap. After all, then they do not fully realize the abilities inherent in nature, which means that they also lose the ability to experience the joy of life to a large extent.

It happens the other way around, when because of emotional pain it is difficult for them to cope with emotions. Hold back your feelings. Sobs roll over, the reality is hardly realized from emotional overexcitation. From such splashes, the hands are shaking, the head is broken. Instead, emptiness and longing come.

Such conditions may be the result of fear. It serves as the starting point of development for all people with a visual vector. Normally, in an adult, the emotion of fear is redirected into empathy, but in situations of severe stress, it happens that the usual response skills are washed away by a wave of a broken dam. Then the root fear of death can be exposed. It is not always realized and can be expressed at the level of psychosomatics, including panic attacks.

Guilt

This state is caused by the peculiarities of the psyche of the anal vector. Friendship and family for such people is sacred. If they're sure they did close person hurt, then they reproach themselves for it. Self-criticism is fueled by the innate tenacious memory of the anal vector. It firmly fixes the details of the past, even if you don’t want to remember them at all. What if there is no way to fix the past? A person can get stuck in a state of guilt for a long time and not know how to build his life further. The situation will change if you find a way to make amends by caring for those who need it.

Loneliness

Proofreader: Natalya Konovalova

The article was written based on the materials of the training " System-Vector Psychology»