Many will say: “I know why people fall in love. Because when a person falls in love with another person, hormones of happiness are released - endorphins!
Well, that's good. In biochemistry - "five".

But I would like to know this: why are the “hormones of happiness” secreted from a specific person and not released to others (or are released, but in much smaller quantities)?

In this book, we will try to consider all the reasons why one person falls in love with another - a certain person.
We will analyze these reasons, starting with the most effective.

Reason one

It often happens that we are attracted definite a person (at first sight or a little later) who is not considered the most attractive according to the generally accepted opinion of the majority. That is, this person is not distinguished by the ability to attract the attention of most people of the opposite sex. Moreover, there may be people nearby who are much more attractive than him (or her). But they attract our attention and interest much less than THIS one. DEFINITE Human.

Why would a person fall in love with another person who is NOT the most attractive when viewed from the conventional standards of beauty or attractiveness? These standards of beauty and attractiveness will be discussed in the next chapter.

Let me remind you that we are considering falling in love with a certain person, whose psychology and qualities of character we do NOT yet know.

This feeling of falling in love can occur at first sight or not at first sight. But, in any case, falling in love, which arose even BEFORE we recognize his psychological “portrait”, that is, we recognize him as a person.
A similar situation was once described in one song:

And in our yard
There is one girl.
Among noisy friends
She is inconspicuous
None of the guys
She is inconspicuous.
………………
I'm not afraid guys
And neither night nor day
No hard fists
No water, no fire
And with her, as if suddenly
They replace me.
…………………..
Forgetting about everything
I watch from the window.
And I don't know why
I need her so much.

I look after her -
There is nothing in her
And I keep looking
I don't take my eyes off.
And I keep looking
I don't take my eyes off.

"There is nothing in it." Well, or almost nothing that would attract the attention of most young people. It is this moment that is of interest. “And I don’t know why I need it so much.” And really, why?
This is the question we will try to answer in this chapter.

To explain this “mystery”, we should consider (and take into account in the future) the basic principle of the operation of our “neurocomputer” (that is, the brain).

The work of our "neurocomputer" (like any other "iron" computer) is based on the principle comparing incoming information with information stored in our memory.

The brain compares the information it receives from the senses (eyes, ears ...) and compares this information with the information stored in its memory. And in the event that there is a similarity of incoming and stored information, then the "neurocomputer" gives out emotions and the necessary actions that are recorded together with relevant (similar) information in its memory. This process is also called "associative memory".

For example: we heard music with which we have pleasant memories. While playing this music, our brain will give us emotions and memories associated with this music, more precisely, with the moment in time when we heard this music before. It is for this reason that “retro” music is popular among middle-aged and older people. Not because the music used to be better, but because people listened to this music when they were young. And with this period of life they have pleasant memories (stored in their memory).

Similarly, we will naturally experience joy when we meet someone with whom we have fond memories. “Happy hormones” begin to stand out. And in the event that we meet a person with whom we had an unresolved conflict in the past (or he just offended us with something), then our brain will give out negative emotions from memory. The brain gives the command to release “stress hormones”.

But why, when a person sees a certain person (of the opposite sex) for the first time, does he have pleasant feelings of sympathy or even falling in love with this person, and just like when meeting a good friend, “hormones of happiness” begin to be released, and in a very in large numbers? We can feel this addiction from the presence of this particular person.

To do this, we will have to identify for ourselves another main feature of the work of our "neurocomputer" - the brain.

The main task of the brain is to ensure the safe existence (survival) of the organism in the environment.

That is why, when we see a person with whom we previously had an unresolved conflict, the brain compares the image of a person with the information (conflict) associated with him in the past, and immediately gives out negative emotions, as if warning us of danger. At the same time, the brain gives a command to release “stress hormones”, which help to mobilize the body for possible physical activity (vasoconstriction, blood pressure rises, heart rate increases - blood pumping, etc.).

When we fall in love with a certain person with whom we had no actions before, why in this case does our “neurocomputer” give out positive emotions of falling in love and give the command to release “happiness hormones”? And thus, our brain, as it were, “tells” us: “Be close to this person!”

The question arises: if the work of the brain is based on principle of comparison of information (coming from the eyes, ears, etc. with information from the memory), then with what information from the memory the brain compares the image of a person, appearance which causes such a reaction in us? If there is a brain reaction (positive emotions, “hormones of happiness”), then there is definite image similarity human with some information stored in the memory of the brain. Otherwise, there would simply be no reaction. The brain would simply "didn't know" how to react!

But if there is a reaction of the brain, then there is information in the memory, which is associated with the image of this particular person (with whom, for some reason, we fall in love).
Let us remember once again that The main task of the brain is to ensure the safe existence (survival) of the organism in the environment.

All the images of people that we have encountered in our lives are imprinted in the memory of our "neurocomputer". The images of those people with whom we had conflicts are accompanied by negative emotions. They do not contribute to our safe existence (survival), but on the contrary, they can pose a danger to one degree or another. The brain tells: "Be careful!"

Images of people from our memory that contributed to our safe existence (survival) are accompanied by positive emotions and the release of “hormones of happiness” The brain prompts: "Be close to him!"

Most of the information related to the safety of survival is information about our parents or those people with whom a person has lived most of his life. That is, the experience of living with parents is POSITIVE in terms of the organism's survival in the environment.

Our life experience is the only information available to our brain.. Accordingly, our "neurocomputer" will compare the images of all people from our memory with the image of the people we see in our lives most often.

Let's consider two situations.

First situation
The girl sees for the first time young man. Her brain compares the image of the young man with the images of other people that are imprinted in her memory. But the image of the young man she sees bears no marked resemblance to the images of people from her life experience. The reaction of her brain is absent (“zero”).

Second situation
The girl sees the young man for the first time. Her "neurocomputer" compares the image of this young man with the images of people recorded in her memory. There is a strong resemblance between the image of the young man and the image of her father! The image of a father in a girl is associated with SAFETY OF EXISTENCE (or SURVIVAL)!!! The reaction of the brain is unambiguous: positive emotions and the release of the “hormone of happiness”. Such a reaction of the brain “tells” the girl: “Be close to this person! It's important for survival!!!"

In the same way, the brain of a young man (or man) will function if he sees a girl (woman), whose external image will have a strong resemblance to the image of his mother. His life experience of successful survival (existence) in the world around him is connected with the image of his mother.

In this case, there is a feeling of "native", close in nature. The stronger the similarity, the stronger the emotion of the native feeling is given out by the "neurocomputer", the more intensely the "hormones of happiness" are released.
It should be noted that in parallel with the hormones of happiness, stress hormones are also released into the blood in a certain amount. Stress hormones make the heart beat faster, which increases blood circulation. There is a blush on the cheeks, the color of the lips becomes brighter. There is a sparkle in the eyes. All this is necessary in order to attract a potential partner.

It is precisely because of the similarity of the object of love with the image of the parent (of the same sex) that quite often a feeling of falling in love arises in cousins and sisters. Previously, such marriages were not uncommon.

The feeling of falling in love, based on the similarity of the image of a person with the image of a parent, can be very strong. One case is known when a young man fell in love with his cousin very much (cousins ​​often look like their mother if this relative is on the maternal side). The young man studied at a military school. Realizing that he would not achieve reciprocity, he, standing in outfit at post No. 1 (at the banner of the military school), he shot himself in the head with a burst from a machine gun. The case is fatal. Therefore, in the case of a great similarity of the image of the person with whom they fell in love with the image of a parent of the same sex, the force of attraction (love) can be - very, very strong!

Another variant of similarity with the image of the parent is also possible.
For example, the facial features of a young man have a certain resemblance to those of the girl's mother. In this case, the girl will also have a “native”, close feeling for the young man. But they usually say about such a feeling: “I like him like a brother.” There is a close feeling to the person. But when a young man has common features with the image of the girl’s mother (and not with the father), then the girl does not see (does not feel) in this young man the father of her future children (because she sees in him not the features of her father, but the features of her mother).

Approximately the same feeling will be experienced by a young man when he sees a girl whose facial features may resemble those of his father. In this case, the young man will have a native feeling for this girl, but rather, like a sister.

Here is a clear example, when a young man's love was formed on the basis of the SIMILARITY of the image of his mother with the image of a girl (SEE THE PHOTO BELOW).

The PHOTO shows Natalya Senchukova, Viktor Rybin, their son with his chosen one. You can immediately determine the similarity of Senchukova with the chosen one of her son (Vasily, if I'm not mistaken).

The first similarity is the oval of the face. The second similarity is the eyes. In the photo above, this is imperceptible, but if you look at the photo of Senchukova in her youth, then:

On the 3rd photo above - Senchukova is everywhere. The quality of the photographs is not the best, but they have a special resemblance to the girl Vasily (Senchukova's son).

The similarity of what facial features most strongly determines the emergence of falling in love with a certain person?

The very first thing that our brain analyzes in a person is the shape of the face.

The shape of the face can be round, oval (elongated), triangular, inverted triangle, square. The similarity of the shape of the face with the shape of the face of the parent of the opposite sex can ALREADY cause a feeling of sympathy.

The next thing to focus on is mutual arrangement eyes and other facial features relative to each other.
It is these two characteristics face shape and relative position of features) determine the individual characteristics of the image of a person most of all.

Below (in the PHOTO) are the collected portraits, composed of the same (!!) face elements: eyes, eyebrows, nose, lips. Same.

The mutual arrangement of facial features is the main characteristic (information) that is used in computer programs to recognize (determine) a person's personality by his face.

In the next place in terms of importance of similarity of facial features is the shape of the incision of the eyes and the location of the iris of the eye relative to the eyelids. These two characteristics will determine the individuality of a person's gaze.

If the eyes of a young man have a strong resemblance to the eyes of the girl's father, then the look of this young man will evoke in the girl a sensation called "a spark ran through."

Similarly, if the girl's eyes bear a strong resemblance to the eyes of the young man's mother, then the young man will be "amazed" by the look of this girl.

It is the similarity of the eyes with the eyes of the parents that causes love "at first sight" (in this option reasons for falling in love).

If a young man or girl has a similarity in the shape and size of the lips with the shape and size of the lips of the parents of the girl or young man, then this moment will also act attractively. Especially if the lips have a distinct, pronounced curly shape.

DIFFERENT LIP SHAPE:

The similarities of these facial features with those of a parent of the same sex, a boy or girl, can cause one person to fall in love with another - a certain person.

1. Mutual arrangement of facial features;
2. The shape of the incision of the eyes and the location of the "iris" relative to the eyelids of the eye;
3. The shape and size of the lips.

Other similarities of facial features: the shape and size of the nose, the shape of the cheekbones, the shape and size of the forehead, hairstyle and hair color - will also determine the degree of the state of feeling in love, but to a lesser extent than the three characteristics of appearance described above.
Also, the reason that a person can fall in love with a certain person may have great importance voice: if there is a similarity of the voice of a young man (man) with the voice of the girl's father or if there is a similarity of the girl's voice with the voice of the mother of a young man (man).

Problems of this type of love

There are problems that can occur when there is a feeling of falling in love between two people. The problem may be as follows.

In the memory of our "neurocomputer" information about a person is stored along with the entire spectrum of emotions that are associated with this person. These are the emotions that we experienced as a result of communication with this person.

Information about our parents is also stored along with the full range of emotions that we experienced in communicating with them throughout our experience of living with them.

Due to the fact that our brains are based on the principle of comparing incoming and stored information , then the image of a person who will be similar to the image of a parent will also evoke in us the whole range of emotions that prevailed during our relationship with the parent (girls with their father, boys with their mother).

Example
Suppose a father showed harsh methods of education in relation to his daughter, suppressed her personality. If a girl falls in love with a certain young man whose facial features are similar to those of her father, then in addition to the natural attraction to this young man (positive emotions, the release of “hormones of happiness”), the girl will also experience negative emotions in the presence of this young man. , starting from discomfort and ending with a strong feeling of fear of him! Everything will depend on the degree of suppression and methods of harsh upbringing on the part of her father.

In this case, the presence of a young man will cause a “hormonal vinaigrette” in the girl, consisting of both “happiness hormones” and “stress hormones” (adrenaline, norepinephrine).

Stress hormones will be present in the usual case of falling in love. This increases the heartbeat, improves blood circulation, makes the girl more attractive in the presence of a young man with whom she has fallen in love. But in the event that the father used harsh, oppressive methods of education, the level of stress hormones in the presence of a young man will be significantly, several times higher than usual. This will cause severe discomfort in the girl, up to panic fear. The young man will cause her feelings of attraction and strong repulsion at the same time. Moreover, the stronger the resemblance of a young man to the girl's father, the stronger the feeling of falling in love and, at the same time, the stronger the accompanying negative emotions caused by the presence of this young man.

Stress hormones, negative emotions, a repulsive feeling - this is not the whole problem in this case. A girl can fall in love with a young man who will behave towards her like a tyrant, a despot: mock and humiliate her in every possible way. But a girl who is “raised” by her father with such overwhelming and harsh methods will consider that such an attitude towards her from a man is the “norm”.

We will not consider further possible scenarios for the development of events. good options not here - only bad or worse.
The girl adopts the pattern of the father's relationship to her for the young man's relationship to her. A father who takes an active part in the upbringing of his daughter should never forget this. With his attitude towards his daughter, he literally "outlines" her future personal relationship in a pair with a young man.

Another problem in the relationship may arise in the following case.

Suppose a mother brings up her son with harsh methods that suppress his personality. When a young man grows up and falls in love with a certain girl who has similar features to the image of his mother, then in this case he will experience an "attractive - repulsive" feeling for the girl at the same time! To a large extent, this will be the case when there will not even be “one step” between love and hate. These two opposite (but not mutually exclusive) feelings will live in a young man at the same time!!! The presence of this girl will cause an increase in the level of “hormones of happiness” in his blood, and this will attract him to the girl. At the same time, the level of “stress hormones” will increase significantly. This will push him away from the girl. The stronger the feeling of falling in love (attraction), the proportionally stronger the feeling of repulsion or rejection in a stronger degree! The strength of both feelings will depend on the degree of external similarity of the image of the girl with the image of the young man's mother. It is probably difficult to imagine a more sophisticated psychological torture for a young person who finds himself in such a situation and who is not versed in the psychological nuances of the origin of such a terrible “hormonal vinaigrette”.

Miracles in our world happen quite rarely (but they do). Therefore, the options for further events described above for a young person will be very bad or even worse.

One of the options: the young man will not be able to take the initiative at all in order to get acquainted with the girl with whom he fell in love. The repulsive feeling will be too strong. Such a young man in the presence of a girl will experience the same feeling that he experienced when he was punished by his own mother. That is anxiety, fear. Outwardly, this can be manifested by trembling in the body, even from just one thought - “approach her.”

If the acquaintance did happen, then the relationship between them will be very tense! Further, if the relationship between them by some miracle persists, then the young man will take a subordinate position in relation to the girl, and the girl will take the dominant position.

With the personality-suppressing harsh methods of raising a son from his mother further development events in a young man has several options (and all dead ends):

1. The psyche of the young man breaks down. If he creates a couple, then this is a painful relationship for both (both for the girl and for the young man), which in almost all cases ends in a break. Further, there is a degradation of the personality with the use of strong stimulants of a large expenditure of mental energy (alcohol, hard drugs).
2. In the case of creating a couple, the man takes a subordinate, often humiliated position in relation to the woman.
3. (less often). A young man finds a girl who herself will constantly be depressed. In this case, he will mock her in every way as long as he has the opportunity to do so.
4. (Rarely). A young man who does not see a real opportunity for himself to create relationships with girls who make him feel in love, crosses the line and turns into a maniac who simply destroys the opposite sex by any means available to him, usually while mocking and taking out all his hatred for opposite sex.

Briefly summarized, a young man, in the case of a harsh, suppressive upbringing on the part of his mother:

a) breaks down as a person; or:

b) depending on the circumstances, will take revenge on the female sex for the rest of his active life.

What can a mother do in the educational process of her son?

In the educational process (of a son), in case of his disobedience, the mother can: limit communication with her son, set conditions for him to further communicate with him, indicating and designating those things that she does not like in his behavior.

To punish her son, to suppress mentally as a person, while humiliating, she should not do - in no case! If there is no man in the family, then it is necessary to ask a relative or acquaintance of a man to show a certain rigidity in relation to the obvious disobedience of his son. Otherwise, in the future, one of the options for the life of a young person, which were described above, will develop.

One of them is a real example of what can happen if a mother does not raise her son properly. Highly recommend reading (following the link) in a chapter from the book:- - (episode about 10 minutes, the page will open in a new "window").

01 reason

selfish

Only socialist philosophers have not written about the virtue of egoism. Supporters of common sense believe that no one can know better than the person himself what he needs for happiness. At the same time, anything can be happiness, if it is associated with pleasant sensations. Falling in love is very nice. From this point of view, it is much more rational to spend even two weeks, but in the company of endorphins jumping to the ceiling, than to abandon them altogether. At least, this is how the representatives of the utilitarian movement in English philosophy could justify why you always want to step on the same rake instead of prudently throwing them away.

02 reason

humanistic

"Ha ha, you're contradicting yourself!" - you thought. But instead of the disarming argument “We know best!” there is something more interesting. Ironically, the need to take care of someone is just as important as taking care of yourself. Moreover, this need is universal and also needs to be satisfied. Of course, you can get a little wombat and take care of him, and then another, and another ... Or just fall in love. Although in this case it is really difficult to determine which is simpler.

03 reason

biological

Grandfather Freud considered one of the prerequisites for the foundation of civilization to be the repression and taming of sexual energy. But even redirecting it to a “civilizing” channel, a person cannot completely free himself from the notorious dictates of nature. Falling in love is one of them. It has been scientifically proven that the choice of a potential partner is influenced by mechanisms operating at the genetic level (see K. Wedekind's experiment). And you can't argue against genetics anyway.

04 reason

sociological

One has only to fall in love and start dating one girl, when suddenly yesterday's bean becomes the object of desire for all the women of the world. Coincidence? We don't think. And the reason is simple: as soon as one single girl says “yes” to you, it becomes a kind of symbol of the passage of natural selection in the eyes of all other girls. Thus, the girl who reciprocated symbolizes the approval of your modest person in the face of the entire female community.

07.08.2016

The question of why people fall in love with a certain person is not as simple as it seems. You need to start with the fact that falling in love and love are two different things. You can fall in love with anyone, because falling in love as a phenomenon of a person’s emotional life is fleeting, but love is “seriously and for a long time.” No, of course, there are times when even great love ends in divorce, but the point here is not in feeling, but in the fact that there was not enough coherence in the relationship.

To answer the question of why people fall in love with a certain person, you need to consider both the situation of falling in love and love. Being in love wins over love in the sense that it is more passionate, more "crazy". A young man in love (but not a girl) is less inclined to think about the future, while a girl (even in love) sees her first love with her in a big house and with a lot of children.

If we agree that falling in love is, by definition, a feeling more superficial than love, then the following will come out: a person tends to experience strong emotions in relation to another person, because the latter has fallen into right time, in the right place or behaved well. Then this success either develops or it doesn't. The physical attractiveness of the object plays into falling in love decisive role. Another thing is that people's tastes in terms of sexual attractiveness vary greatly, as, for example, it happens in food. To each his own.

Then, if a successful gesture is confirmed by deed, then falling in love turns into love. Reasoning about why people fall in love with a certain person and continue to love him in the future is much easier. Because love presupposes the unity of the spiritual world of two people, the synchronization of goals and values, perhaps the commonality of views on everyday, everyday life.

The trouble is that people confuse love and being in love. And then it turns out that they “lived side by side with a stranger all their lives” - this phrase is found quite often in different situations and variations. Then people blame, as a rule, a partner for a failed marriage. But it doesn’t even occur to them that it was they who missed, on the conscience of the spouse only deceived expectations. Although people do not hide anything from each other.

The main problem of early marriages: young people do not speak and do not know anything about each other's expectations, but if they talked, then there would not be so many divorces. In addition, every person has in his head, or rather, in his mind from early childhood, an ideal image of a relationship and a person whom they would like to meet for a life together.

Infatuation (and love) occurs when the ideal images of loved ones match or people think they match. From the illusion of compatibility, many marital problems grow, and then the inertia of habit takes its toll, and people live a rather dull life with each other. True, it saves that the spouses do not feel this for them such a gray life is the norm.

Incredible Facts

It is not always possible to explain how and for what exact reason we attract someone. Is it chemistry or something else – scientists have been asking this question for a long time.

Many studies have been carried out to find out why do people fall in love to a specific member of the opposite sex.

Some explanations are attributed to social and cultural habits, such as shared value systems and experiences.

Other explanations refer to some biological features, For example, the way we smell, or our height, type of appearance, etc.

Why do we fall in love with a certain person

Here are a few scientifically based factors facilitating the attraction of a partner. Some may surprise you:

People tend to fall in love with people like themselves. Shared values, life experiences, attractiveness level and age- all this can be of great importance when choosing a partner.

2. Similarity to partner's parent

If you look like a parent of the opposite sex your significant other, the chances of falling in love with you increase.

For example, often boys are looking for a chosen one, a type that is similar to the type of his mother.

The same applies to girls. Usually, if she a good relationship with her father, in the future she chooses a life partner who looks like her dad.

This may concern both a physical aspect, such as hair and eye color, and age. Children of young parents are more likely to look for young partners as companions.

3. Scents

There is some evidence that the apah can play an important role in attracting the opposite sex.

For example, women who are ovulating may notice the smell of a man with a lot of testosterone.

Also, men can give preference to a woman at certain points in her menstrual cycle.

4. Behavior, gestures and postures

To attract a partner, your behavior is very important. The way you behave, your postures and gestures can make you an advertisement more eloquently than words.

If are you ready to chat, and your gestures say so, no doubt you seem more open to members of the opposite sex.

This makes you more attractive and desirable in the eyes of a potential partner.

Why do people fall in love

5. Partner Growth

Height can also play an important role in attracting the second half. This is especially important for men - both for building relationships on a short-term and long-term basis.

Women's Height Preferences often dictate to a man the choice of a partner.

6. Interesting and exciting time together

The attraction in a couple is sure to increase if they spend time together. interesting leisure.

Experience in the form exciting adventure will benefit the relationship.

Maybe then you should skip the standard trip to the cinema and replace a banal date with a cup of coffee with a parachute jump or snorkeling together?

7. Proximity of residence

If you and your fan live in close proximity, this will most likely increase the chances of building a relationship. Daily live communication helps you get to know your partner better.

Why do you think in student hostels so easy to tie

There is a fairy tale about Ivan the Fool, who finds himself at the fork of three roads. And the poor fellow toils, which one to choose? But not a single fairy tale puts Ivanushka in front of a dilemma: to love or not to love? Deliberate stupidity! Such a question simply cannot be!
Everyday life pulsates, obeying the rhythms of nature. But just as in nature, an event occurs in human life that disrupts and breaks this rhythm of life. Man falls in love!
And then there, beyond words about love, the world of sensual impressions begins... Old judgments, opinions, habitual dogmas go away... Even any new information ceases to interest, just prevents you from feeling... It's something inexplicable... Love!
The resulting feeling of love completely turns off the mind. He seems to go into the subconscious, closes, leveled. Disappears own "I". After all, love is a single sensation in which two individuals are dissolved, they interact and mutually complement each other. This is a kind of revolution in the attitude of people towards each other. It builds a new level of communication, creates a new world.
Each person has ideas about the proper and significant in life. But love does a miracle: they all dissolve, and individual ideas interpenetrate each other, gradually creating a certain general idea of ​​the world, different from the individual one.
Love is a channel through which thoughts and feelings are transmitted to another. This is the highest degree of interconnection, in which the world feels completely different than before ... A man in love creates an ideal for himself. The need for it supplies the lover with energy - he is looking for an image that seems ideal to him. And will fight for it...
Love is a kind of "tripod" on which the balance is built, the balance between people. A general condition due to which, interacting, two people will definitely find in themselves the ability to build and maintain relationships in a mutually beneficial state. So in a couple, and in society.
People don't love each other because they are afraid of each other; afraid because they don't know anything about each other; they don't know because they don't communicate, and they can't communicate because they are separated. Love removes this fear, separation disappears. A new paradigm of relationships is emerging ... Lovers are not even afraid of their own death. They are taller than her. Because their life is full of each other, and in this fullness there is no empty place where the thought of death, the fear of death could seep ...
So why do people fall in love with each other?
Nature is a lady without emotions. Being in love is a condition for creating full-fledged offspring, a series of generations of which supports life. Being in love is a sign of genetic compatibility. And nature brought these signs to the surface. Here are facial features, and the structure of the figure, the timbre of the voice, and much more. Each sign is a signal that we receive on a subconscious level: here is my partner! I love him!
Then these two begin to get used to each other already at the internal level: characters, intellect, social parameters. It is from the coincidence of internal qualities and preferences that their happy future life comes. And children born to like-minded parents are always full-fledged.
Why did Nature order it this way? Perhaps she is "preoccupied" with developing a person to the point where he asks himself: "Why am I falling in love?"
And then he will begin to reason something like this: “But didn’t Nature come up with such a special tool - love, in order to create us, her creation? Was she guided by this feeling when she sculpted us? Don't you think, friends, that we are the children of Nature's love for us?
It is not in vain that Nature has created in man, "immured" in his instincts the main developing component - the desire for pleasure. And falling in love with another person is an expression of desire, aspiration for another. To enjoy it and return it.
True love is giving to each other, with both parties working for wholeness, for this type of connection we call "love." They repel any calculations about self-sufficiency and are tuned to take care of each other. Love implies caring and vice versa. This reciprocity creates such a perfect connection that everyone feels in himself the strength to live.
Perhaps the "design" of Nature is to create a human civilization that, at a certain level of its development, would be able to move from love for the opposite sex to love for one's neighbor in general? Maybe the feeling of love is the connection that will connect the two, society and Nature together?
This would be the most the best gift that Nature could do for us! From love for one's own kind to love for one's Creator! And this is the biggest revelation, to which a person acquires the ability to come through millennia of his development ...