The wife cheats but does not leave the family. Cheating husband: they leave good wives too. Family problems

If the spouse begins to notice strange behavior in her husband, for example, asking him a question about why he was late at work, instead of explanations, a series of absurd excuses flow from his lips, or, when making calls, he leaves the room to they didn’t hear him, and also tries to keep the phone with him everywhere - this behavior involuntarily suggests the thought: maybe the husband has a mistress? It is likely that the answer to this question is yes.

When we talk about balance, it does not refer to a fair distribution between times, but rather to a more satisfying arrangement between work and home. This is why men can fulfill their role as working parents and men in the world of work. Work does not go against home and family, since it does not represent a conflict in which decisions about work or children must be made; rather, they are forms of family organization in which both father, mother and children participate, so that men do not have to give up their work to meet their expectations and spend time with their children as they structure different forms of coexistence.

Men cheat more often than women

Judging by statistics, men are twice as likely to “walk to the left” than women. But for some reason, most of them are in no hurry to leave the family and leave their wife for a new passion.

Instead of admitting to treason, the womanizer starts a cruel game on two fronts: he comes up with a permanent alibi for his wife, and arranges shura-murmurs with his mistress. Such a dual game clearly irritates both women and confuses them.

How men engage in fatherhood is not an abstract decision, but involves a series of negotiations and agreements with the couple that enable or hinder fulfillment as a working man and father. These negotiations with the couple and children in most cases are implicit, that is, they do not always talk about it directly, but in the family interaction itself they agree and make decisions, for example, when parents come home late, it is the wives who talk to the children, organize themselves in activities at home, in children's school assignments, understanding that "when he can do it", leaving many other activities as they are.

Why does a man do this? Isn’t it easier for him to break this knot himself by choosing one and living happily with her, without causing unnecessary suffering to anyone? Let's try to figure it out.

Why do husbands cheat?

A woman, having learned about her husband’s betrayal, falls into a stupor. She is unable to understand what caused the betrayal? After all, it seems that she is a good housewife, and cooks deliciously, and in general everything in the family is fine and smooth. In fact, according to psychologists, there are several reasons for a man to seek adventure on the side, here are the main ones:

Each agreement is developed and presented differently in each family based on its capabilities and the context in which it is developed. Parenthood and work are not events that are lived individually, it involves many forms of relationships and family negotiations, it is with the couple, sons and daughters, with whom they will negotiate about the type of family they want to have.

The purpose of the article was to consider fatherhood as a period of change in the lives of men. We present three main sections: masculinity and fatherhood; family and fatherhood; work and fatherhood, where we analyze the relationships and transformations men make in their exercises as parents.

"Love Fades"

After living for a single year, the husband begins to lose interest in his wife. After all, during the time they lived together under one roof, he knows absolutely everything about her. Therefore, in search of novelty and vivid impressions, the husband is looking for a new hobby.

Alcohol addiction

Often the passion for alcoholic drinks arises from boredom. family life and a lack of spice in intimacy. This is explained simply: in a sober mind a man does not dare to cheat. In a state of intoxication, few manage to resist the seductive diva.

First, we must note that the question of fatherhood is relevant because we are at a historical moment in which socio-cultural changes have had an impact on both the structure and structure of the family and the social participation of men and women.

One form of male participation is fatherhood. Being a father is a respected social practice, since for most it means a huge responsibility, a difficult task, they recognize that the traditional model of fatherhood received from their parents is not at all comfortable, so they have been involved in a constant quest to find some referents who indicate how to be parents, discovering that it is in everyday experience through relationships with the couple and sons and daughters where they must build new ways of being parents and living parenthood.

Lack of attention

In many families, women are passionate about raising children or working, while devoting almost no time to their beloved husband. But he also needs the attention and support of his other half. Not receiving this in the family, the man tries to be heard by another woman - his mistress.

Lack of sex

One of the most significant changes in a person's life is the presence of children, the manifestation of the desire to have children and fatherhood, is interesting fact, because it is generally believed that women are those who have children or daughters for a long time, without However, an important part of the transition to parenthood unites as a starting point the elaboration of a desire built together with the couple.

Talking about fatherhood necessarily connects us to the relational nature of the event, preferably in a planned and lived relational way. When considering the possibility of being a father, a person's life will never be the same, they will be involved in a series of changes and transformations.

A husband, offended by his wife’s constant refusals to have sex, will eventually cheat on his wife.

Revenge on an unfaithful wife

Since betrayal is a powerful blow to the dignity and pride of any man, in order to restore offended feelings, he takes revenge in the same way.

As a parent, they engage in a lifelong learning process, daring to do things they haven't done before, striving to become aware and improve their daily tasks both at work and at home, some becoming more tolerant, learning to discuss points of stereotyping of behavior and areas of men acting as fathers and women acting as mothers. When a son or daughter grows up and questions what they are doing, as parents force them to change their ideas and attitudes, to reflect and question, trying to find alternative forms of relationships, like men and parents.

Why doesn't the husband leave his wife for his mistress?

Afraid of change

Why leave your wife? After all, divorce is a long and nervous procedure. In addition, the wife has already become a family member, and the ladies' man understands how much they have in common - common memories, everyday life, children, home. And he just wanted to add color to his life, but so that it would not affect his marital life in any way. life together.

About a different smell

Becoming a father leads a person to see and live reality differently, it is an experience of the most significant and influential. It has been documented how motherhood changes women's lives, now it is important to document what happens in men's lives as well. The arrival of a son or daughter changes not only the activities, but also the entire lives of both spouses.

Reasons for male infidelity

It is interesting to know how conflicts are lived, organized and resolved in different areas of participation, such as the allocation of time and household activities, child rearing, economic contribution and the performance of work of one or both, trying to achieve harmonious and balanced agreements.

Doesn't consider his mistress better than his wife

A man with a new love is interested in spending time together, but at the same time he understands that this relationship will not lead to anything more. Over time, passions will subside, and he will again live a peaceful life.

Joint children

It is quite possible that the man did not have enough fun before getting married and got married because his partner was pregnant. In this case, perhaps he is very attached to the child and does not want the child to grow up without a father.

When we talk about balance, it is not in terms of a fair distribution between times, as this is not always possible due to different activities and working hours, but rather for more satisfactory agreements and arrangements between work and home. This will involve forms of negotiation and family organization between father and mother and children.

The main reasons why a man cheats but does not leave the family

Male personalities. Pontifical Catholic University of Peru. Perspectives on the study of life-life balance. The Palacios family and human development. Madrid: Editorial Alliance. Essays on cultural change and modern world. Nolasco, S. "The Myth of Masculinity." Faculty of Political and Social Sciences. National Autonomous University of Mexico.

Cheating under the influence of alcohol is not cheating

The man finds an excuse for himself that at the moment of betrayal he did not understand anything, and therefore it is not worth ruining the marriage for such a trifle.

Marry once and for life

Conservative views on marriage and their own moral principles, including gratitude to his wife for the years she has lived, for her care and for all the good things, does not allow a man to file for divorce.

Bronstein Guide to Parenting 3: Being and Becoming a Parent. New Jersey: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates. Rojas, M. O. Fatherhood and family life in Mexico City, a qualitative approach to men's reproductive and domestic roles. A master's thesis for a doctorate in population studies is presented.

Not all power and all domination: Identity among men and the process of negotiation between work and family life. Juan Carlos Ramirez Rodriguez and Griselda Uribe Vazquez have Masculinisms. A gender game between men and women. The dissertation is submitted for the elective degree of doctorate in sociology. Reflections on masculinity and employment. Some dilemmas, conflicts and tensions.

Who are they, homewreckers?

Many women believe that their husband has found a young and beautiful mistress. But most often, when choosing a new passion, a man pays more attention to partner's sexuality: lush breasts, long slender legs, a pumped up butt, that is, feminine charms that awaken the male libido.

International Journal of Masculinity Studies. Journal of Teaching and Research in Psychology, Volume 13, Number 1, Page 77. You happen to meet the person you love and start dating him, feel that he is the perfect person, the type of blue prince who fell from the sky.

And many women, many of my readers, ask me: Why? What's happened? And what is it like to imagine that they are in a relationship with the right person, until he sees this reality, because he does not yet consider himself in a relationship with you.

Housekeepers and colleagues most often act as mistresses. There are frequent cases of love affairs with close friends of the wife.

How to prevent your husband from cheating?

Self improvement

In order for a husband not to want to look for adventures on the side, a woman needs to continue to improve herself: find new hobbies and interests, take care of herself and remain mysterious;

Harmony in the family

This alienates your person. But what is this instant relationship? A woman gets into an instant relationship when she thinks and imagines that she is already in a relationship with this man, that they will spend every weekend together and that he will not go out or look at other women.

And all this happens very often when the man has not even talked about relationships. When she realizes that he is not even in an exclusive relationship with her, or that she has no plans to see her on Friday night, she feels deceived and disappointed.

Don't refuse sex and take the initiative

Don't forget about the intimate side and don't shy away from discussing your sexual fantasies with your man. Show your imagination in this area: study sexual dance for your man, invite him to add some zest to ordinary sex. Let your husband be excited and interested in you every time. It’s not difficult to be different, especially if you think about the goal - family happiness and well-being.

Moreover, men feel this kind of energy and leave quickly or very quickly if you, as a woman, are already in that moment with him when he has not yet had time to think about it or desire a relationship. This action will take you away from such energy that puts some distance between you and the man or makes you look strange and needy when you talk to him. This will provoke the opposite: it will give you much more objectivity when it comes to choosing a person, and it is you who decides which person is suitable for you or is better for you.

Be beautiful

A woman should be well-groomed in any situation, regardless of whether she is successful in her career or sits at home and raises children.

Step 1: Don't let uncertainty and anxiety overwhelm you. Are you sometimes surprised when you think in this way that you see that you are almost dominated by some fear or concern about the person you are dating or about your relationship? If you allow this voice to speak for you, if you allow it to occupy your thoughts, identifying it, you are allowing it to deal with what you feel, your emotions, it will not help you in love or any other relationship, especially in your relationship with your person.

You need to decide not to let this voice handle your life. Start living a fulfilling life full of satisfaction. Do a little reflection and ask yourself: if a person were to join you and your life would be interesting? Would you feel comfortable and happy doing what you do?

What to do if you find out about your husband’s infidelity, but he is in no hurry to leave you?

First, try not to panic. Now is the time to understand yourself, to realize what connects you with your spouse.
Change your environment, for example, you can live with relatives or rent a house separately for a while. Take your mind off the fact of cheating. You need to give yourself time to come to your senses.
Do not isolate yourself under any circumstances. Try to find the strength to calmly weigh all the pros and cons of divorce.
There is no need to try to take revenge on your husband by retaliating. It won't make it any easier.
Don’t look for a meeting with your rival, much less physical violence.
Do not give up. Show that you are a self-sufficient woman and you live well without him.
Do not spy on or question your unfaithful spouse.

Thus, a husband’s betrayal is a tragedy for any woman, but it must be accepted with a sober mind. It's never too late to get a divorce. If the wife proves herself to be a strategist and psychologist, having familiarized herself with the above-mentioned possible causes of infidelity, she has the power to correct the situation for the better.

Will you be happy and satisfied with your own life? Or not? Take a moment to think about this. Then take a piece of paper and write down three things you can start doing for yourself that will make you happier, fuller, and of course, make you more attractive to the type of person you want in your life.

Give him space, this man, to come to you. Don't make the mistake of acting like you're desperate. Because this is the fastest way to sentimental failure. Many women have very active lives and have many professional successes. But once they meet a person, they start focusing too much on him and pleasing him or doing things according to their liking.

The wife deprives her husband of a sense of fulfillment and self-sufficiency

In our society, many men do not feel self-sufficient always and everywhere.

At the beginning of a family relationship, the husband’s inner emptiness is covered by his wife. They think they will love each other forever.

On the contrary, a mature man likes to offer things to the woman he values and is attracted to. Whether you realize it or not, it gives a person great satisfaction. So if you're worried that a person will think you're not interested in them if you don't do the things mentioned above, there's something you need to know: all you need to do is express appreciation for what he does for you.

Find and think about what he did for you and show your appreciation. A woman's gratitude is for a man what love and security are for a woman. “The Code of Attraction with Your Person.” Do you fall in love with toads again and again and get injured?

For him, a wife is a woman who will always be with him.

Now he feels self-sufficient and safe.

In your family, you yourself can deprive each other of what What then do you start looking for in other people:

The wife may begin to deprive her husband of his sense of self-sufficiency and confidence during frequent scandals, everyday problems or misunderstandings. This happens when spouses have been together for a very long time.
Time passes, the wife no longer gives that love, which she gave before. And the husband looks for her in the arms of his mistress.
The spouse no longer gives this feeling of fullness and harmony, the husband begins to look for this feeling on the side.

If all this exactly happens in your relationship, then that is why a married man will have a mistress.

This is a problem not only for the wife, but also for the husband. He had to increase his level of awareness, work on himself and be self-sufficient on his own, without relying on external factors.

He found a lover who is just cool to be with

With his wife, the husband often does not feel cool. With my wife it’s a family, it’s love, an idyll and children.

And there is another girl who is cool!

Let's explore in more detail the question of why men have mistresses and the psychology of their thinking, why they secretly spend time with them:

The mistress helps her husband mentally escape from family and everyday problems.
He has a mistress with whom he wants to have sex and who is very exciting.
He gets himself a girl who delights him.
A mistress gives those new emotions and sensations that a wife does not give.
He can talk about things with this new woman that he can never talk to with his wife.

Routine, addiction and monotony in the family

Husbands cheat on their wives because they want variety. They want adventure, something new.

There should be no routine life in a family.

A person cannot eat the same yogurt in the morning, at lunch, in the evening and at night. You won't be able to eat this yogurt every day for two weeks because it's not normal and you'll get tired of it.

The same thing can happen in your family.

There is no attraction or chemistry between you

Attraction and chemistry in a relationship lasts 0.5 - 2 years maximum. Then it all ends.

Scientists' opinion about why husbands cheat on their wives is because they become accustomed to their partner's pheromones. Because of this habituation, you are already fed up with each other.

These are the realities of life. Everyone can get fed up.

The husband is polygamous and previously lived in an open relationship

On the topic of what his psychology is and why men cheat on girls, it would be correct to mention the following facts:

Therefore, he secretly makes cool mistresses, with whom it is cool and with whom he can temporarily forget about family life and all the problems that arise from it.

She gives all her time to the child

If a child appears in your family, then the mother will spend a lot of time only with him at first.

How does a baby affect your sex life?:

These are constant screams at night that will not allow you to rest together.
This is caring for the baby, diapering, breastfeeding.
A woman after childbirth cannot make love.
Sometimes, when the baby sucks milk from the mother, some women find breastfeeding a lot of pleasure. And the wife no longer wants to spend time in bed with her husband.

Hence, as a rule, sex life in your family fades into the background.

The husband finds no other way out than to extinguish his passion together with his mistress.

In this case, the psychology is that husbands cheat on their wives and want to have a full sex life, but they do not want to leave their family and child.

Everything is bad in bed - dissatisfaction

Some women are not as sexual or are not yet fully aware of their sexuality.

Your marital games in bed may not satisfy your partner.

Not all women are skilled in sexual skills for the following reasons:

If a man has tried this and that, but it doesn’t change or add variety in bed, out of desperation he may find himself a mistress.

Or even just find a walking girl for one night.

After all, if the wife is very bad in bed, the husband can find a girl who is much sexier in many ways.

The husband can find that girl on the side who makes him just blow his mind in bed. He will secretly admire her and not tell you.

About a different smell

Not all men know that the wife always recognizes the smell of another woman. Even if her husband took a shower or put on perfume, she intuitively understands and feels everything. The man suspects nothing, but the woman digs into her head and keeps wondering: “Why do guys cheat on their girls?”

And the husband may still naively believe that everything is under control and he is in control of the situation. He does not even suspect that his wife recognized the smell of another.

Because of the belief “You can change as long as no one finds out”

Television and mass media instill in the brain of a young man from birth the idea that married men are obliged to cheat.

Guys cheat, even though they love their girlfriend, because for them it is considered the norm and a common occurrence, as if in the order of things.

In some families, wives directly make it clear to their partner: “If you’re cheating on me, do it so that I don’t find out.”

They actually voice it and say it, and the spouse remembers and draws conclusions.

Of course, later the wife will regret what she said if the betrayal comes to light.

To cause jealousy or for revenge

Some men are very jealous. They may be motivated by selfish motives for cheating.

That is, even because of a simple feelings of envy or inferiority The husband wants to make his wife jealous.

Another reason could be that the wife spent time with the wrong people or cheated on him at some point.

Then the man will want to fill the hole in his self-esteem and stroke his pride on the side, taking revenge on his wife.

For example, he sees his wife communicating and flirting with other men at some holiday.

Her husband is often jealous of all men in a row.

He remembers all this, and is looking for a mistress in order to so that now they will be jealous of him .

Male chauvinism and patriarchy

Subconsciously, a man has this belief: “I can make love with whoever I want, but a girl can’t” . Maybe for girls this will be a shocking answer to the question of why men cheat. But this is how our society works.

That is, in this case, the husband puts his interests above his wife and allows himself to go to the left.

A man thinks he has some privileges and he has more space for sex life due to male chauvinism and patriarchy in the family.

Also, the reason for betrayal may be that As a child, my husband's father also cheated on his wife.

Now an adult repeats the mistakes of his parents.

Selfish motives

The desire to prove to myself and friends “what a cool lover I am”

The reasons for a husband’s infidelity may be the following selfish motives:

Read more about ego and selfishness in detail on the next page at the link.

Satisfy your libido.
From early childhood there was a lack of female attention. And now, when the man learned that attention could always be had, all he had to do was do something, the man ventures into the unknown.
Because of the desire to assert oneself in front of friends. get their approval.
He wants to prove to himself that he is capable of mastering other women. After all, this had never been possible for him before.
My husband's friends are bachelors and they always have something to tell about their adventures. The husband also decided that it was time to show off something and went to the left.
That is, the reason is to brag to friends.

The woman stopped caring and taking care of herself

Because the husband has already conquered his wife and won her heart. Now there is no one to conquer.

The wife relaxes, and this is what happens to her:

Years later, the wife stops watching her figure; she is already satisfied with her fat belly.
Now she doesn't dress as nicely as before, she wears a kitchen robe and has curlers in her hair.
The sparkle in her eyes, zest and femininity disappeared.
A woman is no longer sexually attractive.

If all this happens, then it is not surprising that the hot and sexy beauty from work replaced his wife in bed.

Of course, a woman does not have to always be beautiful, but she must be conscious and confident, radiate love.

By alcoholic accident

There is one expression that sounds like “saw the night, walked all night until the morning.”

And if men walked all night until the morning with alcohol and surrounded by beautiful women, then a drunken husband may forget about his wife by the end of the evening.

After all, there is an appetizing beauty sitting on it and there is plenty of alcohol around. Then the man cheats because the male gaze sees only girls with a good figure next to him, who also don’t breathe very smoothly towards him.

Because of alcohol, he forgets about the one and only.

He no longer has much control over his speech and actions.

Cheating occurs unconsciously.

This happens both in clubs and at noisy parties, holidays and other drunken places.

Why doesn’t the husband say anything and stay in the family?

Let’s close once and for all the question of why men cheat on their wives but don’t leave them. The most common reasons are the following:

Whose fault is this and how to solve the problem

It is worth understanding that both partners are to blame (responsible) for betrayal. You decide what to do with it next.

But to prevent cheating from happening, the wife should realize the following things: :

She can be both a lover and a wife at the same time .
A wife can play several roles at the same time and there will be no betrayal.
Wives simply lack the correct model of behavior mistress, where she will delight her husband.

All this will help you avoid betrayal and have a happy and harmonious family.

Everything in life is good, and at the same time something goes wrong... Sound familiar?

You clearly want more, but it’s not clear how to achieve it;
- You are stuck with routine, it seems that one day is exactly like the other;
- There is no required level of mutual understanding with other people;
- You feel that something in life is not going the way you want;
- Sometimes it seems to you that it is very difficult to work with other people;
- Sometimes it is difficult for you to agree with others or your agreements are violated;
- Everything seems good, but you clearly want more!

Do you find yourself in at least one point? Yes?

I have great news for you: everything can be changed!

Have you decided that you need a change?

Are you tired of walking in a vicious circle and stepping on the same rake?

Sign up for a Skype meeting Skype: Tatyana Oleinickova and find out how to find a solution to your problem, situation or task. Together we will look at each situation in detail and deal with them.

I wish you significant improvement in all aspects of your wonderful life!

Men cheat more often than women

Judging by statistics, men are twice as likely to “walk to the left” than women. But for some reason, most of them are in no hurry to leave the family and leave their wife for a new passion.

Why does a man do this? Isn’t it easier for him to break this knot himself by choosing one and living happily with her, without causing unnecessary suffering to anyone? Let's try to figure it out.

Why do husbands cheat?

"Love Fades"

Alcohol addiction

Often the passion for alcoholic beverages arises from a bored family life and a lack of spice in intimacy. This is explained simply: in a sober mind a man does not dare to cheat. In a state of intoxication, few manage to resist the seductive diva.

Lack of attention

Lack of sex

A husband, offended by his wife’s constant refusals to have sex, will eventually cheat on his wife.

Revenge on an unfaithful wife

Since betrayal is a powerful blow to the dignity and pride of any man, in order to restore offended feelings, he takes revenge in the same way.

Why doesn't the husband leave his wife for his mistress?

Afraid of change

Doesn't consider his mistress better than his wife

Joint children

Cheating under the influence of alcohol is not cheating

The man finds an excuse for himself that at the moment of betrayal he did not understand anything, and therefore it is not worth ruining the marriage for such a trifle.

Marry once and for life

Conservative views on marriage and his own moral principles, including gratitude to his wife for the years she has lived, her care and all the good things, does not allow a man to file for divorce.

Who are they, homewreckers?

Housekeepers and colleagues most often act as mistresses. There are frequent cases of love affairs with close friends of the wife.

How to prevent your husband from cheating?

Self improvement

In order for a husband not to want to look for adventures on the side, a woman needs to continue to improve herself: find new hobbies and interests, take care of herself and remain mysterious;

Don't refuse sex and take the initiative

Be beautiful

A woman should be well-groomed in any situation, regardless of whether she is successful in her career or sits at home and raises children.

What to do if you find out about your husband’s infidelity, but he is in no hurry to leave you?

First, try not to panic. Now is the time to understand yourself, to realize what connects you with your spouse.
Change your environment, for example, you can live with relatives or rent a house separately for a while. Take your mind off the fact of cheating. You need to give yourself time to come to your senses.
Do not isolate yourself under any circumstances. Try to find the strength to calmly weigh all the pros and cons of divorce.
There is no need to try to take revenge on your husband by retaliating. It won't make it any easier.
Don’t look for a meeting with your rival, much less physical violence.
Do not give up. Show that you are a self-sufficient woman and you live well without him.
Do not spy on or question your unfaithful spouse.

Thus, a husband’s betrayal is a tragedy for any woman, but it must be accepted with a sober mind. It's never too late to get a divorce. If the wife proves herself to be a strategist and psychologist, having familiarized herself with the above possible reasons betrayal, it is in her power to correct the situation for the better.

Needless to say, the betrayal of a beloved husband becomes a real tragedy for a wife. Convinced of the betrayal of a dear person, a woman suffers and ... cannot decide what to do: immediately file for divorce, resign herself and endure, blame herself for “not holding back”? Understand the reasons for the betrayal and understand how to save the relationship (yes and is it worth saving), you can use A to assess the situation superficially, knowing zodiac sign men. So if he...

Most likely, adultery for him is a breath of freedom and novelty. Tired of the monotony of gray everyday life, he suddenly decides to paint his life in brighter colors and... he may break down. Unfortunately, Aries is a very addicted person, immersed in his hobbies, and sees only one goal. But he is a terrible owner and jealous, this fact must be used. If you give him reasons for jealousy, even completely innocent ones, he will instantly turn his attention to his legal wife. To do this, you don’t need to really change - just come home a couple of times with flowers, without explaining the origin of the bouquet. Or ask one of your colleagues to accompany you home, so that your spouse can witness this fact. Another way to attract the attention of your Aries husband again is to change your hair color and clothing style to a very bright one and go out with your loved one more often. Just to avoid harming yourself, be sure to check with your individual

Representatives of this sign do not often decide to cheat on their wife - they value the usual order of things and hate emotional shocks. Taurus “sin” with infidelity only when they feel a lack of love for themselves and try to make up for it on the side. You can find out whether this will happen in the near future from an express calculation. Prevention of infidelity will be an increased concern: you need to surround your Taurus husband with comfort, paying attention to the smallest details - a delicious dinner and a cozy home where he is always welcome, etc. What if cheating has already happened? You shouldn’t hush up the problem and pretend that you don’t know anything - it’s better to immediately discuss the current situation honestly and head-on, outlining a plan to overcome it together. It is advisable that such a conversation take place without a stormy showdown, so be sure to use the astrological calendar of conflicts. If resentment does not allow you to control yourself, it is better to reschedule it for an appointment with a family psychologist.

Twins

This frivolous intellectual always wants new communication, new acquaintances, which easily turn from friendly into intimate. Moreover, if your Gemini husband cheats, filing for divorce is simply useless: the new hobby will pass faster than you are going to get to the registry office. But there is also a sad fact - even if this sin happened to him for the first time, it most likely will not be the last. Geminis are nature seekers, and nothing can be done about it. The only way to keep him is to add romanticism to the marital relationship. And this means making dates from time to time, appearing at home only “in full dress” (and not in a robe), sharing with him all his hobbies and passions - from fishing to swimming in an ice hole. A calculation will show how safe and enjoyable all these hobbies are for you personally.

It’s not for nothing that they say “in the still waters...”. Vulnerable and sensitive, home-loving and child-loving Cancers often go to great lengths. The reason is simple - they are driven to infidelity by great sexuality and a powerful instinct for procreation, although they themselves will never admit it. At the same time, Cancer rarely leaves his legal spouse, but... continues to have connections on the side. First effective remedy the return of an unfaithful person to the bosom of the family is an ordinary scandal (the Cancer husband cannot stand a conversation in a raised voice and will be ready to agree to any condition of an angry wife). Magical love spell rituals will also help a lot. For example, use A after peace has reigned, do not forget to make your couple’s intimate life brighter and more varied.

He loves it when women conquer him and fight for his attention. Flattering speeches from your rival alone are enough for your spouse to turn away from the true path. Another common reason for lion infidelity is the desire to show off among friends, to prove one’s “special masculinity.” And in order to destroy the side relationship of your Leo husband, you need to hit the same target as your rival - his pride. Pretend that you are “not in the know” and try to prove that your mistress spoke badly about him: “I accidentally found out that your secretary Petrova made fun of your appearance among her friends” or “They say she always chooses pathetic lovers.” After this, the secret union will lose its former charm for the husband. If the name of your rival is unknown, fight her with your advantages - this will require you to become “more promising” than her: slimmer, more well-groomed, smarter and more educated. Come to me at , and together we will change your life in the right direction!

Virgo

Men of this sign are faithful to their wives when they are confident in the strength of their marital relationship. And if the wife behaves too freely, often disappears, flirts with other men - how can one not look for a more “safe haven”? So the “deceived” spouse should first of all change her own behavior. So what is next? A Virgo husband spends most of his life at work. Here you should look for his new passion and be sure to get to know her, in order to draw the attention of the super-critical spouse to the shortcomings of his rival - “Darling, have you noticed how uneven her legs are?” (just pretend you don't know about their connection). Even if the girl’s figure is all right, the husband will definitely “get hooked” in his consciousness on this thought and it will never give him peace. Another option is to insist that the spouse change jobs, moving to an all-male team. And what kind of work will be useful not only for your personal life, but also for your wallet, the astrologer knows! A consultation will help you.

Scales

He is able to cheat on his wife only when he really falls in love - he never starts casual relationships. But before worrying, the spouse must make sure that there is a good reason for this - Libra men are capable of maintaining purely platonic relationships with new lover. Of course, not everyone will be warmed by the thought that the lawful husband is walking under the Moon with another woman, even if the matter does not go beyond reading poetry. But what can you do about someone in love? Alas, nothing! All that remains is to wait for him to decide how to live next. And in the meantime, look for a worthy replacement for him. During a special consultation (it’s called), I will draw up your horoscope and analyze in detail what kind of man you should look for, where he can be found and when there is a chance of getting married.

Scorpion

He is a cynic on the surface, but a trusting romantic at heart. He is attracted by the mystery, the inaccessibility of unknown women, while his wife is already known and does not represent any secret. And if Scorpio meets a lady on his way who gives him a mystical sense of mystery (even if it only seems so), he is able to cheat on his wife without much thought. It is useless to influence his conscience and consciousness; in such situations they “rest.” Come from the unconscious side! Focus his attention on the memories of shared happiness: gather old friends and girlfriends, arrange an evening of pleasant memories, review photographs of your couple before the wedding. Or arrange a trip to the place where he fell in love with you, where you spent your honeymoon. After such psychological tricks, force new love to the “stranger” your spouse will turn on you again. It is very important to plan such “promotions” at the right time. This is what is dedicated to

Sagittarius

Constantly cheating on his wife and having a mistress, alas, can be a way of life for him. This is just self-affirmation, and not the true need for love. If the Sagittarius spouse is confident in his abilities and himself, everything will be fine! If he feels that he cannot achieve his cherished ideals in his work or that his old work has already become boring for him... he “gains self-respect” by having a mistress. It’s not easy for a fiery anemone to get rid of a bad habit. Try to bring to his attention that extramarital affairs are a sign of bad taste and humiliate male dignity. More often include articles about celebrities who respect family values. If you and your husband have a mutual friend, let him talk to the unfaithful: in the case of Sagittarius, a sense of shame (not conscience) - powerful weapon. Or send him to , we will discuss with him in detail what this behavior means for him personally and how to get out of the vicious circle.

Capricorn

Surprisingly, he can start a relationship on the side, convincing himself that this is exactly how it should be. So to speak, the big boss has a mistress “assigned” by status. Fortunately, this stupid thought does not come into the Capricorn husband’s head very often, but if it does, hold on wife! A new relationship can last for years, gradually developing into a second family. And he is simply not able to leave any of the women - responsibility, you understand! Then we discuss such situations and are sad that the necessary measures were not taken on time - 10 or 15 years ago. In his case, the most effective will be gossip and harsh public opinion. And most of all, Capricorn is afraid of being ridiculed. As soon as subordinates begin to giggle behind their backs, and the boss makes jokes directly to his face (both are inevitable), he will significantly change his opinion about the prestige of such a situation.

Aquarius

We have to admit that betrayal is second nature to this sign. You won't find a more unfaithful type in the whole world. Do you want to continue your life together? Learn to turn a blind eye to his late absence and the new smell of women's perfume from his jacket. True (regardless of your long-suffering) Aquarius will someday decide to break the burdensome bonds of Hymen and live a free life. If you want to leave the last word for yourself, visit, we will discuss what awaits each of you in the event of a divorce and whether it is worth tolerating the outrage further.

Fish

Most of his free time he needs solitude and tranquility. If the “fish” has his own quiet corner waiting for him at home - a soft chair in front of the TV or a cozy sofa, he will never cheat on his wife (more precisely, he will not cheat on a familiar sofa and armchair). But if you put a whole load of responsibilities on him, don’t expect to go home early - he’ll find another quiet sofa. If you stop “pulling” your beloved husband over trifles and allow him to be lazy for 1 hour a day, soon he will miraculously move back to his favorite place. And another method to firmly tie him only to your sofa is to have a new joint offspring, without waiting for your rival to decide on it. And, of course, such serious steps need to be planned just as seriously. exactly about this.

According to statistics, young wives (aged 26 to 30 years) cheat more often than young husbands. The longer spouses live with each other, the less likely they are to separate.

British sociologists made a sensational discovery: the more educated a person is, the more often he shows infidelity in marital relationships. As it turns out, the most faithful husbands are... losers. And highly educated women and men cheat 2 times more often than those who received secondary education.

Psychologists believe that the critical time when a man can leave his family is one year. If he did not get divorced during the first year of the love affair, then the chances that he will get divorced later are very small.

If a man's friends and comrades do not cheat on their wives, the likelihood of him cheating will also decrease.

An Italian woman paid more than $30,000 to a clairvoyant to find out if her husband was cheating on her. As a result, the husband filed for divorce: his wife’s jealousy ruined him. The husband himself claims that he was faithful to his wife.

by Notes of the Wild Mistress

You read letters and comments from women and you are amazed - almost everyone stands up for love. And they justify betrayal with love, and abandoned children, and they advise not to keep a husband who has fallen out of love. Surely these are written by mistresses who are trying to take their husbands away from their families.

It is clear that in their minds all wives are bad. This is the image of a wife with whom her cheating husband literally suffers every day from morning to night and only in the house of her mistress does she find rest in body and soul.

I loved mine to the point of unconsciousness. And when she realized that he had taken someone on his side, she almost died of grief. For me, his leaving home seemed like a disaster; I couldn’t even imagine how I could live on.

For almost two years I fought for my love, to save my children’s father. She did everything: to keep the house clean and beautiful, to ensure that the food was always fresh and tasty, to take care of herself so as not to become a wastelander. She spun like a squirrel in a wheel, but never allowed a reproach or a sidelong glance.

She pretended that I didn’t notice anything, didn’t know or see anything. She was always waiting for him in the house with a smile, with dinner ready, no matter what time he arrived. I never asked a single question - why was he so late and for what reason was the salary less? But she always asked about business and how she was feeling.

And how many tears I shed, only the pillow knows. She was wet from tears when her husband, well-fed and satisfied with life, fell asleep, tired of his righteous labors. Only those women who have been in my position know how unbearably hard it is to look at a loved one and see how he lies, hiding his eyes, how he secretly tries to call while locked in the bathroom or toilet, how he dodges, inventing non-existent business trips or explaining , why I began to receive so little money.

And how difficult it is to wait and say something to the children about how dad works a lot. Waiting by the window without the certainty that he would even return home.

Several times I almost broke down and told him everything that was painful, but I restrained myself, I didn’t want to push him to a decision.

But it all turned out to be in vain - he left with the words that he was guilty, but he fell in love with someone else and dreams of living with her until death. And still she remained silent, saying in parting that this was his house, and the children and I would be waiting for him.

I don’t know how he lived there, but three months later he returned, and I accepted him in the hope that he had lost his temper and now everything would be fine. At first it was like that. And I even thought that I could calm down, until one day he came late again, smelling of someone else’s perfume and, hiding his eyes, began to talk about the emergency at work.

Then it started: again “business trips”, overtime work, strange calls, delays in salaries. And again my tears into the pillow and smiles towards him, as if I don’t even know what’s happening.

He left and came back again. And again I felt as if I was being cut alive with a knife - such pain. I didn’t even have anyone to talk to - I didn’t tell anyone about the situation in the family - I carried everything inside myself.

And the second time I accepted him, however, I no longer had much confidence that the family would survive - that’s what I told him. But he, as on his first return, cried, asked for forgiveness, told me that he loved me alone, that he could not live without children.

After his second departure, I thought for a long time about life, about love, about family, about my role in his life, and then I realized that he would continue to play around with women, justifying himself with the “love” that suddenly came. And then come home, lie down, relax and go in search of new “love”. Why not life, because at home it’s always quiet and peaceful, and there’s a foolish wife who won’t reproach you with a word or a look.

And the resentment became stronger than the pain... The resentment that he did not understand anything, did not appreciate anything, that he not only stopped loving me, but did not even respect me, having decided that he could lead me by the nose with impunity and live as I wanted.

Then I filed for divorce, and when he returned again and began to ask for forgiveness, I told him about it. Lord, how dumbfounded he looked?! And then I realized that that was it, and I wouldn’t change my mind. Do you know what he finally told me? That I was a fool, a worthless woman, useless to anyone, who should have considered it a blessing that he ever married me.

And if there were still remnants of my past love in me, then after these words there was nothing left in my soul. I crossed out my entire past life, which I considered happy, right away.

This story ended almost three years ago. How does my ex-husband, I don’t know - I’m just not interested. And when relatives try to tell me something, I simply cut them off - I don’t need it.

As for me, I'm getting married. It turns out that I’m not so worthless and unnecessary. My future husband says he loves me and treats me with respect. At least for now. But I had long ago lost my naivety, so I immediately warned him: I won’t forgive even a single step to the left - I’ll kick him out and never let him back in. Let him know, just in case.

And I want to say this to mistresses: don’t believe that they don’t leave good wives. I am a good wife - a wonderful mother, housewife and cook, and I have good looks, education, and a calm, easy character, and I always earned no less than my husband, and a decent woman - I have never looked at another man. The tears of abandoned and trampled wives will flow to you - there will be no happiness with someone else's husband - don't wait. Either way, you will have to guard him all your life.

Svetlana Egorova

Most frequently asked question, which is asked by women who come for crisis counseling to a family therapist: am I doing the right thing when deciding to get a divorce? And this is really very important question. Alas, it is simply impossible to answer this unequivocally. The psychologist does not have a list with check marks or a questionnaire that will allow you to score a certain amount of points in order to see whether the marriage still has a chance or whether it is time to end this relationship. There are too many things at play here: maybe you are in a period of crisis or you were not prepared for some aspects of marriage and you simply do not have enough tools to cope. Maybe the ghosts of the past are distorting the present and poisoning your life together. Or perhaps there is some serious problem, which is hiding under the top layer of your relationship, and divorce intuitively seems like a suitable way to get rid of it.

Sometimes the marriage has really run its course, or you are not right for each other - there are a lot of options. And how can you ultimately understand who should get a divorce and who shouldn’t, because in fact the problems lie somewhere else?

How to find out what's really going on between you? I usually suggest that couples take a break and start looking into all cases - except when you or the children are in danger, because then a decision must be made quickly.

Let's try to look at the five most popular reasons for separation, which have a double and even triple bottom. You may have already encountered some of them in your marriage.

I don't feel happy

This phrase itself contains a big logical error, a common misconception that stems from the desire to quickly find the cause of the misfortune and eliminate it. The first part of the phrase - you are not happy - is very important, and this is exactly what it makes sense to work with. But how your feelings are connected with your spouse is a big question (even if the answer to it would seem obvious). At this point, it is very important to mentally press the “stop” button and temporarily “disconnect” your husband from your condition.

Instead, talk to yourself. How long have you been feeling unhappy? Why did this happen and when did it start? Have there been any big changes in your life or global reasons, because of which you began to lose your positive charge? What are you missing? And have you ever been happy at all?

Perhaps in last years you had to make so many different decisions and deal with so many problems that you were simply tired. You may be stressed. Perhaps something has changed a lot in your life. Sometimes problems are so big that they overshadow everything else, they simply dry us out. So maybe it's time to explore who you are - besides being a wife and mom? What are your interests and what do you personally need to be happy? Finding answers to these questions will take time, but it is always an interesting and exciting journey into oneself. Until you know the answers, your options (including the desire to get a divorce) may turn out to be a “deception” - an illusory but alluring way to alleviate your condition without directly solving the problem.

Alas, if it’s more likely about you, then the emptiness inside will not disappear just because you get divorced. Moreover, many new difficulties may be added.

The marriage didn't work out

This point is directly related to expectations from marriage. Ours, most often, are quite rosy, and this is in a sense normal - after all, we all want simple, cloudless happiness and that “nothing should happen to us for it.” But is it even possible to be prepared for the daily real family life that follows a beautiful wedding and gifts? Especially if it’s your first marriage.

And even if not the first, each person is unique, and relationships with him will be built differently. Of course, this is very difficult.

Some couples successfully overcome such periods. Others “get stuck” in them and perceive the very appearance of real problems as a reason to run away. Modern culture, unfortunately, in some way contributes to the formation of such an attitude: you can always make a simple choice, not to invest in working on yourself, but simply leave the unsuitable person. Of course, in some cases - for example, with domestic violence - this is really the only correct path. But not all difficulties in marriage erect an insurmountable wall on your road together.

Moreover, working together to solve a problem can bring you very close, and you will gain new important experiences. The question to ask yourself here is: do I want a divorce or do I want a different life with the person I have already chosen? Perhaps because you feel like you put so much energy into a relationship that ultimately “didn’t work out,” your self-esteem has dropped and you’re in dire need of support—but not necessarily because you’re divorced.

Treason

This is probably the most difficult point. It is difficult to follow any advice and try to look at your marriage from a new perspective when you already know what happened and the wounds have not yet healed. Perhaps I can console you a little: people choose their spouses not at random, but very precisely. Typically, these are the ones who really suit them best. And according to research, in 75% of cases, adultery is not a deliberate destructive act of one of the spouses (although in fact it, of course, destroys), but a symptom of a personal problem or problems in a relationship with this most suitable person. The reasons that people create a triangle instead of fighting for their marriage can be different - both on the part of the cheating spouse and on the part of the person being cheated on.

And, of course, let's not forget about the difficulties between the two spouses. But in the same 75% of cases, if both have a desire to fix something that was carelessly broken, then there is a chance to do it. This does not mean at all that you should try to put the brakes on the fact of betrayal! Holding in and suppressing your emotions about what happened will only make you feel worse physically and emotionally.

At the very least, it is advisable to talk about it. The ideal option is for you to go to family therapy together to understand what exactly went wrong and when it happened.

Problems with sex

It is known that if there are no problems with sex in marriage, then it is absolutely unimportant. If there are problems with him, then this often becomes the main difficulty in a couple. It's hard to argue with the obvious, but, as usual, everything is a little more complicated. Firstly, libido (that is, sexual desire) is often the very first thing that suffers in the event of some psychological problems in a relationship or, for example, with one of the spouses. In this case, “treating the symptom” is useless; the problem will not go away until the cause is discovered and worked out. And it doesn’t matter whether it relates to both partners or whether it “fails” only for one.

Secondly, the phases of love also affect fervor in sex. Something gradually gets boring, someone relaxes too much, and now one or both spouses find themselves chronically dissatisfied, and even often keep silent about it. There is an opinion among family consultants that to prevent this problem, you need to add something new to sex every one and a half to two years. The new kind sex, or role-playing games, or toys, or something else. There are a lot of options, you can find yours among them. It is important that both partners like this new thing and agree to it - then your sex will be protected from boredom.

Thirdly, it happens that sex didn’t go well from the very beginning, because one of the spouses (or even both) already had certain problems, or both of you are not very compatible in temperament. But the secret is that there are no perfectly sexually compatible people in the world. But there are couples for whom sexual harmony is very important, so they are ready to try and learn, and in the end they receive a reward - fantastic sex. You too can become such a couple - the Internet, books and professional sexologist consultants are a great help with this.

Love is gone

This is also a common trap that many couples fall into. There is a big difference between a marriage without love and a marriage that is simply going through the changing phases of love. The fact is that these phases exist in any long term relationship: first acquaintance and rapprochement, followed by falling in love and charm (exactly what is ironically called the “candy-bouquet period”), gradually turning into strong affection and the desire to be there “in sickness and in health.” And if the first two phases are absolutely cloudless, and even the partner’s shortcomings at this time are perceived as his cute characteristics, then the third phase (usually occurring in the second or third year of marriage) is already building a strong foundation for a long partnership.

This foundation will contain aggression, disappointment, and objective life difficulties - sometimes they can be strong, almost like an earthquake (for example, loss of loved ones, financial problems, unsuccessful pregnancy, etc.). And if children appear in this phase...

In general, it can be difficult. And the abrupt transition from rose-colored glasses to measured real life many feel it as a loss of real feelings. But that doesn't mean the feelings actually went away! They simply changed, underwent natural metamorphoses. Rest assured: this new taste of love has its advantages, many of them. Don't deprive yourself of many joys by yearning for the adrenaline of the first months. Yes, it won’t be like this anymore, but it could be a hundred times better.

This must be remembered

If there are problems in your marriage, this is not always a sign that you need to get a divorce. More often than not, your spouse, your marriage, and all the good things that have already happened are worth fighting for some more. Therefore, it makes sense to temporarily postpone radical decisions and look for options.

Never, ever allow other people to make decisions about whether or not you should get a divorce (even if that person is a marriage and family therapist!). This is your marriage and only you can decide what is right for you right now.

It is important to remember that no one can magically fix your “broken” marriage. No one can fix what you think is wrong with your partner.

Qualitative long-term changes will require efforts on both sides, and on yours too.

By deciding to let go of your somewhat unsuitable old life, you and your spouse can create a new one - despite the anxiety and fear of the unknown.

Everything will get better, but it takes time. Just keep going.