Men:

1. Most men do not worry much about divorce, because they so dreamed of becoming free again and relieving themselves of responsibility for their family and children. In addition, they wanted to meet a better, younger woman who would not get bored as quickly as his wife, and these men realize their fantasies and dreams with her. They believe that family life interfered with the implementation of fantasies. Two years "at large" lead them to the idea that the family is still better, so during the first two years these men marry again (some, however, to their ex-wives), but over the years they begin to realize that the first wife was better than the second, although they do not regret the divorce.

2. What does a divorce after a long life together lead to another, smaller category of men? They enjoy freedom, change partners, do not marry for a long time, while, unknowingly, losing best years of their lives, and by the age of 50, a craving for family life, and the choice of partners is already small, and he himself has lost his “presentation”. This category of men, if there is material wealth, finds a young wife for himself, to the envy of friends and ex-wife. But this “diamond of youth, beauty and freshness requires a good cut, that is, large financial expenses, there is no time for a strong family, to create the appearance of it for friends and acquaintances, plus the eternal fear of betrayal. And those men who do not have material wealth are content with what comes to hand, because sexual activity is wasted on random partners who require more (in comparison with their wife) emotional, physical, psychological and sexual costs; hopes for a "free life" did not come true, and in a difficult life situation there was no support, for a man this is a disaster, so this man understands that the first marriage was better than the second.

3. There is a third category of men whose divorce leads to severe depression, alcoholism, a strong sense of loneliness, confusion, loss of interest in work and life in general become its concomitant factors. Responsibility for the former family, which they abandoned, has grown into responsibility for themselves, and not every man can cope with this. In this situation, a psychotherapist is indispensable. Family life for this category of men again becomes that happy island where he would like to return, but it is often too late, so the inexorable statistics determine average age men 58 years old (although, of course, there are many different reasons for early death, but one of them, of course, is divorce).

Women:

1. Divorce for the vast majority of women is a tragedy that is accompanied by deep depression. Thoughts about “why live now”, “for whom to live now”, very often lead a woman to the decision to stop this meaningless life, so many of them end up in a hospital bed, this is at best, after which they realize that life goes on, need to raise children or start building a new family.

2. After a divorce, a woman will almost never be serenely happy and calm, even if she has a second marriage, because there remains the fear of losing this husband as well or fear for the relationship of her stepfather with her child from her first marriage. Unfortunately, the second marriage for a woman is not always better than the first, although there are exceptions.

According to statistics, immediately after the discovery of infidelity, 19% of spouses divorce. 75% of the rest will divorce within 18 to 24 months. And if you also take into account that betrayals happen in good marriages, and this does not save you from divorce, then the question arises. Why can't even a good marriage recover from infidelity? After all, spouses are really trying to restore relationships, arrange a second honeymoon, buy gifts, spend months trying to be careful, helpful, loving, trying to compensate for what they have lost.

And there is a reason. And a lot of people don't even know which one it is.

When it comes to long term relationship — good = average. In other words, in marriage (as in many other areas of life) "good" brings an ordinary, average result instead of an excellent, exceptional one.

What is "average"? It's mediocre or mediocre. This does not mean that being in a successful marriage is bad. My point is that when it comes to marriage, "good" can be code for the word "ordinary."

The mediocrity trap

Ordinary is convenient - you need only a minimum of effort.
- Ordinary predictable - no spontaneity.
- Ordinary is safe - no risk.
- Lazy mediocrity - reduced energy.
- Ordinary is cheap - requires a minimum of investment.
- The mediocrity is unremarkable - can be easily copied.
- Ordinary is non-exclusive - anyone can get it.
- Ordinary is indifferent - it lacks passion.

Although mediocrity requires a minimum of effort, even this minimum is quickly depleted. You may ask, and what is important in all this?

The connection is this: the first wish of couples whose relationship was shaken by treason is “ to make everything as before". They want everything back to normal, that is, before treason was revealed.

Do you understand what this means? This means that for the most part, they would like to go back, do the same things, say the same words, act and live the same way, follow the old script, in general, create the same marriage that they already had and that led to a known result. No wonder that almost 80% of marriages fail.

Change is like an earthquake. If you restore the destroyed structure, it will be as vulnerable as before. If you want to feel safe in a new house, then it will have to be built more durable.

So it is in marriage. Forgiveness, reconciliation and rebuilding relationships are not enough. These are just the first steps. The next step (which many don't do) is the most important. It is necessary to rebuild the marriage and create a relationship that is immune to infidelity.

And here the most interesting begins. In the example of my work with couples who have gone through the experience of cheating, it happens like this.

A partner who has been cheated goes through all stages of rehabilitation, gets rid of negative emotions, obsessive thoughts, depressive states, relations with a spouse are restored, betrayal in the past, and in the present love, forgiveness, passion and hope for the best. And when I remind you that the most important stage is ahead - the creation of strong relationships that are invulnerable to betrayal, everyone agrees, nods their heads that they need to work further, but with the caveat “Oh, now we feel so good, we really want to be in this state, we are so we suffered that we don’t want to do anything, so we’ll have a little more fun, and we’ll continue.”

Do you think there should be a sequel? As you might guess, only a few continue, the rest return a couple of months later with the same problems that they came with for the first time. And it went in circles, only much harder and more painful.

So if your marriage is shaken by infidelity, know:

1. Minimal effort will not help.
2. It is not enough to rebuild, you need to rebuild, make it better, stronger and safer.
3. Making it as good as it was is not enough; needs to be better than it was.
4. And perhaps most importantly. Following the course your marriage used to take is pointless and stupid.

Marriage will never be the same after infidelity. But this is not bad, but good news. Bury the thought that the relationship you were used to was "so great." And bury the thought that more passionate, loving, open and honest relationships are not available to you.

They are available to you!

Yes, cheating destroys an agreement, but at the same time it makes it possible to make a new agreement. This is a turn-off sign on the road, not an end-of-road sign. It means that you just have to turn onto the best road.

A couple who has been through infidelity needs a better marriage model best card marriage, we need relationship skills and strategies that help maintain the "good" that never stops growing and evolving.

Combining the bonds of marriage, the newlyweds swear to be faithful to each other, because this is the basis of family happiness and a guarantee of stable, lasting relationships. long term relationship. And if someone breaks this oath, life ceases to go on as usual, raising the question: what to do next and how to survive betrayal.

It's no secret that men cheat more often, such is their biological nature: to fertilize as many females as possible. But in the course of evolution, in addition to the development of physical instincts, humanity has cultivated social norms of behavior, according to which a man and a woman can create a successful tandem based on loyalty, trust and love.

Therefore, treason, as a fait accompli, can have a different nature and be:

• an annoying isolated incident that a man wants to forget about as quickly as possible;
• the lifestyle of a male who believes that everything is possible for him;
• a consequence of passion, flown like a hurricane.

No one is safe from betrayal, and rarely anyone is able to survive it easily and without mental anguish.

Betrayal of a loved one

Most women who are faced with a cheating husband feel that they have been betrayed. The usual picture of the world is collapsing, life for the most part takes on gray colors and seems meaningless. What to do?

Put yourself on the cross

Some take these words literally. And someone just stops caring for themselves. Lack of manicure, tangled, dull hair, eyes red from tears, dark circles and bags under them, as a result of sleepless nights - any woman can turn from a beauty into you know what.

Do not rush to die, both literally and figuratively. Cheating on a husband is not the end of everything, but the beginning. The beginning of a new stage in your life.

To live on

With or without him? This is a question that needs to be answered individually. Someone does not forgive betrayal, under no extenuating circumstances. Someone closes their eyes, put up with it, allowing it to repeat itself over and over again. You can go to extremes. Or you can stop and analyze the situation in order to learn from it.

1. Try to calm down. Not because Moscow does not believe in tears, but because calmness will help to maintain a good appearance, healthy well-being and a sober assessment of the situation.
2. Determine the nature of the betrayal, so it will be easier to understand whether to stay with her husband or not. And if so, how to improve the relationship.
3. Find the reason. Cheating is like a disease - you don't need to treat the symptoms, you need to remove the cause.
4. Assess the feelings of a man:

• respects - does not respect;
• communicates with you - ignores;
• experiencing sexual attraction - indifferent to you.

Such an analysis will help to make a thoughtful decision and save you from those actions that you can later regret.

Dangerous reactions

Often a man, having changed, tries to justify himself, blaming his wife for what happened. He may argue that she is not good enough and well-groomed, skillful in bed, does not understand his spiritual or physiological needs. There may be some truth in this, since two are most often to blame for treason: both the one who cheated and the one who was cheated on.

But you should not take his words as an absolute truth, all people are not perfect, and this is not at all a reason for constant betrayal to become the norm of life. The main thing is to be able to talk, discuss the problem and find possible ways her decisions.

It is in communication, calm pronunciation of one's feelings, sensations, expectations that the way out is found, and not in insults, scandals, attempts to find the guilty, the desire to take revenge or drown out the mental pain with alcohol.

Desire for revenge

One of the main dangers that lies in wait for an offended and offended woman is the thirst for revenge. Moreover, society is also pushing for this, offering, as a rule, three interpretations:

The feeling of revenge is quite understandable, and at first glance, the desire to take revenge on the person who hurt you is fair, but having taken revenge, you are unlikely to feel satisfaction, especially if, in response to another betrayal of your husband, decide to cheat on him yourself. Many wives have tried this way to cure heartache.

But revenge will not give peace or happiness, it does not create, but only destroy the good that is still left in your marriage and in your soul.

And listening to such advice that pushes you to reciprocate treason or another kind of revenge is a thankless task. They are usually given by people who are not happy in a relationship. Look at their life and at themselves, if you like everything and want to live like them - listen, if not - think with your head.

Risk of alcoholism

No less dangerous are attempts to drown out mental pain, relieve stress with the help of alcohol. The state of intoxication quickly passes, but the problem remains, aggravated by poor health, unimportant appearance and hangover depression.

During this difficult period, you need a clear head to comprehend what happened, draw conclusions and decide how to live on.

To keep your mind clear, it is better to go to the gym, load yourself with work, get out into nature, do needlework, meet old friends who do not know about your problem, or talk to a psychoanalyst.

There is nothing worse than death. If you are alive, you can find a way out of any situation.

After thirty years of marriage

A tragedy often becomes a betrayal of a husband after thirty years of marriage in prosperous families. Wives are confident in the stability of their marriage, and betrayal causes shock, which then gives way to a sense of fear, disappointment, resentment against the person who was given the best years. Man after for long years marriage can get bored, want to relive the feeling of falling in love, feel young.

How to be?

This will give you two undeniable advantages:

• understanding that now not everything is as bad as it could be;
• willingness to act wisely to avoid this worst-case scenario.

During pregnancy

Pregnancy is a period when a woman is especially vulnerable and needs the love and care of her husband, so his betrayal not only hurts, but also frightens a woman. First of all, young families face similar problems, especially if it is the woman’s pregnancy that has become main reason marriage.

A man is afraid of losing his freedom, the upcoming troubles and responsibilities, he is also vulnerable. sex life with a pregnant wife may not satisfy him, and he seeks sex with other women.

Video: What to do if a man cheated

What to do if this happened?

1. Continue to think about your child, about his and your health. No man is worth worrying about his actions, you gave birth to a disabled child.
2. Decide whether you will try to build a relationship with this person or not.

• if not, file for divorce or leave to live separately;
• if so, discuss the situation, find out the cause and eliminate it. Find ways to give a man sexual pleasure;
• if a man is ready to save his family, but does not really want to discuss the current situation - do not put pressure on him, act independently. Sometimes the husband is the first child of a woman: as we bring up, we will receive. And it is not always necessary for him to know that the process of education is going on.

With best friend

Cheating with your best friend is doubly terrible, as two close people betray at once. But do not rush to make a decision in the heat of the moment and break off relations with both at once, although this may be the best solution.

How to be, what to do and where to find the strength to live on?

1. talk threesome. It is very difficult, but if you are destined to die, it is better to die a hero. Why the three of us, and not with each separately? Neither the husband nor the girlfriend will have a chance to lie to you, and you will find out the truth. If this is an accident, then who initiated it, if this is love, then you better leave and start life and relationships anew.
2. Immerse yourself in work. It will distract for a while, but the problem will not be solved.
3. leave. It doesn’t matter where: to a resort, to a grandmother’s village, to a pilgrimage tour - the main thing is that you are alone in a different, unfamiliar environment.

Imagine the following situations and track your feelings:

• your husband disappeared from your life, but your girlfriend remained;
• girlfriend disappeared - husband remained;
• both disappeared.

In which of the following situations did you feel more comfortable? This is a ready-made decision on how to proceed further and with whom to end the relationship.

Betrayal and divorce

Sometimes, having changed or systematically changed, the husband does not want to change anything and leave the family. But it may be different - he wants a divorce and plans to start a family with another woman. The situation is often complicated by the fact that he leaves not only his wife, but also children who are painfully experiencing his departure.

What to do is a question that arises on its own.

1. It is best to hire a lawyer to resolve all issues in the divorce process.
2. Do not interfere with your children in your problems and do not set them against their father. firstly: you yourself chose him, and secondly: there are no former fathers.
3. Maintain respect for yourself and for him. Even if you were betrayed, this is a lesson that can either make you stronger, which in the future will help you find happiness, or break both you and your future. To happen the first option or the second - only you choose, with your reaction to a given situation.

How to save a family

If, faced with a betrayal of her husband, a woman seeks to save her family, she should, first of all, speak frankly with her husband, understand his desires and intentions, the reasons that pushed him to take this step. But your conversations should be constructive dialogue, and not attempts to arouse pity or remorse.

If you want to stay together, it makes sense to visit a psychologist, he will give practical advice how in each specific situation to survive the betrayal of her husband and save the marriage.

• Pay more attention to yourself;
• Find a hobby;
• Workout;
• Take on a new project at work.

Psychotherapy and affirmations

deal with heartache, resentment, decreased self-esteem and other problems resulting from betrayal, various psycho-trainings and affirmations help - statements that help change the way of thinking and form the desired future.

Video: How to survive betrayal

Examples of Positive Affirmations

Affirmation must meet several requirements:

• be positive, without using the particle “not”: I do not age = I stay young;
• be in present tense: I will be loved = I am loved;
• be understandable: Awareness and kindness help me move beyond limitations and find a new path = I deserve a wonderful life;
• be specific: I live with a man = I live happily with a kind wealthy generous man who leads healthy lifestyle life and is free from marriage and children.

Psychologists point out that used to be a woman ask for help, the more chances she has to keep her family or friendly relations with ex-husband make it easier to get through this difficult period. But complaining about your husband to relatives and friends is not worth it, they are unlikely to be able to be objective and impartial.

You will need all your kindness and wisdom to become stronger and more independent, but you can overcome this test!

You probably miss the impressions of everyday life, it has become like a vicious circle.

• Sometimes, to get rid of fatigue, it is enough just to spend a joint vacation.
Your actions will become the foundation for the rebirth of relationships. If one of the spouses does not make contact, then the marriage inevitably goes to dissolution. Recriminations Some families initially build relationships incorrectly, constantly slipping into recriminations. The same reason becomes the reason for most betrayals, because lovers do not slide into insults or mutual accusations. Every person has the right to a bad mood, but you cannot bring negativity into the family. Most often, the cause of accusations is a career. Women believe that spouses are to blame for the fact that they did not make a career for a long time, but were in charge of everyday life. Men tell their spouses about 20 wrong years.

Practical forum about true love

The biggest problem that my husband always told me is that I'm cheating on you because you're frigid, you don't understand anything about sex, and I believed him. Opportunities to find out whether he was right or not, I had no desire. And at the New Year's corporate party, I kissed my colleague.
Just like that, I drank it and thought, but I’ll kiss him now and that’s it! Omitting the details, I realized that I am a normal woman! that everything is in order with my physiology, and so I felt sorry for myself, I cried so much later, remembering these humiliations from my husband. For almost all these years we had daily sex, my husband just behaved like a maniac, quickly into bed, quickly into a pose! And somehow, brick by brick, I built this decision in myself to leave. For the May holidays, my husband went on a business trip, and yesterday I went to spend the night in a rented apartment, bought myself sweets and arranged an evening “I love and spoil myself.”
I woke up at 5 in the morning and went home ... I can’t leave like this.

Attention

But everything continued in the same spirit, and already on Easter he packed his things and left, saying that he was empty and there was nothing for me, not for his son. For some reason, I was so angry at him then that I didn’t even live, it even became easy .. I reduced contacts with him to a minimum. In April, I went to rest and visited Jerusalem. There I prayed for him and asked the Lord to determine our future path with his will ..

And now, after my arrival, I began to yearn for him like a lunatic, I want closeness, I want to be there. I understand that he doesn’t need anything with me anymore, a new, different life has begun there, I load myself with work, sports.

Life after divorce from husband. how not to drive yourself into a corner

Krasnodar 1478 consultations №20 | elena the wise wrote: complete disgust And how long have you been experiencing this feeling for him? elena wise №23 | Nadezhda Tsvetkova wrote: How long have you had this feeling for him? For 6 years, I tried to get rid of this feeling, I was looking for only the good in it, always. I even probably idealized him always, my problem is that I reward people with qualities that are not inherent in them. I live by the principle - you are an amazing person for me, to prove the opposite, a person needs to try very hard. and one day I just realized, I despise him, he is not pleasant to me. and there's nothing to be done about it, yes, admit it to yourself, accept it. it happened. Elena the wise when she found out about the affair behind my back with a close friend, which did not stop for 15 years. greater meanness cannot be imagined. Nadezhda Tsvetkova Psychologist, Short-Term Deep Therapy

Divorce after 20 years of marriage.

Changes in life. How versatile is this concept? Some we take with joy, some we take for granted. But there is a certain category of changes that we would like to avoid.

• The Psychology of a Broken Marriage
• Recovery stages
• Painless Solutions
• How to survive a divorce

A divorce from a loved one or even a once loved one is a difficult stage in life, which is worthy to go through with minimal losses and come out of it renewed, not broken, difficult and, it seems, sometimes impossible, but quite a real thing.
Let's talk about how to survive a divorce from your beloved husband without losing yourself, learn how to build a new life, restore peace of mind, believe again that life is beautiful, and you will be happy again.

Women's secrets

Info

However, if the passion has passed, and deep love, tenderness, friendship, mutual respect did not come in its place, but only the question remains: “What am I actually doing next to this person”, such a couple will inevitably face a divorce.

• spouse's addiction (alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling, etc.). A very difficult situation. A divorce from an alcoholic, a drug addict requires a woman's determination, wisdom and strength. Very often, the spouses of dependent husbands are sick no less than half of them.

And the name of their disease is codependency. Dealing with it alone is sometimes an impossible task.

domestic violence. Beats means loves? A huge stupidity that women repeat like a kind of mantra, trying to find an excuse. No. Not the one who hits. Yourself. The one who is patient and forgiving.

Cries, treats bruises, lies at work. And once again forgives. Once again.

Why divorce is possible after 20 years of marriage

Important

Nadezhda Tsvetkova Psychologist, Short-Term Deep Therapy, Krasnodar 1478 consultations See which of your feelings is the strongest: -I don't believe-Stupor, fear-Gratitude (for the past) Maybe disgust? Contempt? elena the wise full disgust Nadezhda Tsvetkova Psychologist, Short-term Deep Therapy, Krasnodar 1478 consultations №20 | elena the wise wrote: complete disgust. What answer did you answer to my question? Please quote ...

To do this, highlight the words with the cursor and click "quote". elena wise which of the senses is the strongest Nadezhda Tsvetkova Psychologist, Short-term Deep Therapy

How to survive a relationship crisis after 20 years of marriage

And one more thing... And finally finds the strength to break the heaviest chains and literally "break free."

• treason. Pain, betrayal, the collapse of faith in everything around ... And the understanding that it is impossible to forgive ... Or, even worse, they do not ask for forgiveness ... Perhaps the most difficult option. Heavy with its suddenness, the deafening truth about yesterday, a close and dear person ...
• inability to have children.

  Or the unwillingness of one of the partners to have a child. A fairly common reason for divorce. Quite outwardly prosperous families break up.

The list, of course, is far from complete. Yes, we do not set ourselves the task of classifying and categorizing ... What to do, how to help ourselves? For you - the recommendations of a practicing psychologist.

Everything has already happened.
You no longer need to solve together the problems of education, upbringing, treat babies or rock them at night. It is necessary to replace the freed time, but it is very difficult to look for a new activity that will become a shared meaning. It is important to find pleasure in marriage, which will become a new binding thread for the relationship.

It could be:

• joint business;
• passion for travel;
• joint sports.

Some spouses wait for grandchildren and begin to be active in their upbringing, but this is just a substitution of the meaning of marriage. If grown children decide to move away from the parental nest, the basis of married life in the form of grandchildren will again be lost. See also: how to spell statement of claim about dissolution of marriage with children The big problem in this situation is infidelity, which is more common among men.

How to get over a breakup after 20 years of marriage

With it, people aged 40-50 have an acute desire to live for themselves. Not everyone can cope with it, which is why the percentage of marriages that break up after a long family life is so high. Both spouses rarely have such a desire, therefore, most often the relationship is interrupted at the initiative of the wife or husband, which is often a surprise for the second half.
If both spouses are ready to make efforts to restore family life, then the marriage can still be saved. Psychologists recommend looking for a solution to the problem in yourself, you can not shift it onto other people's shoulders.

1. First of all, it is necessary to understand whether divorce is the only and final solution to the situation. It is likely that you will only have to change the environment or work.
2. After that, find the reasons for the routine in the relationship and eliminate them.

How to get over a breakup after 20 years of marriage

A rag, some kind of moral monster. A victim who does not like what is being done to her, and willpower is not enough to change something. Help me! Talk to me! Sorry for the confusion. Nadezhda Tsvetkova Psychologist, Short-term Deep Therapy Krasnodar 1478 consultations Hello Elena. Elena Wise Hello, Hope! Nadezhda Tsvetkova Psychologist, Short-term Deep Therapy, Krasnodar 1478 consultations #0 | elena the wise wrote: Help me! Talk to me! Ready to talk to you ... When you want? elena is wise now… Nadezhda Tsvetkova Psychologist, Short-term Deep Therapy, Krasnodar 1478 consultations Good. Please read my Terms and Conditions for a free demonstration consultation (see below). Elena the Wise I read it, I understood it, I agree. Nadezhda Tsvetkova Psychologist, Short-Term Deep Therapy
And life is really not over! And what did it seem to you that everything, further and there is no need to live? Well, right, stupidity then froze. And they still doubted that everything passes, this too will pass! In vain. You have to believe in yourself. The only advice. Do not rush into all serious.

Do not try to show the “former” that everything is fine with you: your career, new shoes (or car, who knows), and your friend is a hundred times better, and so on and so forth. No need. Let go. Live for yourself, your children. Don't compete with anyone. Don't prove anything to anyone. You are still the best, worthy, beautiful, smart, etc.

Do what you love, find a hobby, spend more time with your family. Live life to the fullest! Normalization Was it a boy? Everything is behind! New life, new relationship (or not, it doesn't matter). New experience, albeit heavy, but yours.

You are faced with a betrayal of your husband, the earth is slipping from under your feet, you want to run away somewhere, hide and climb the wall. Why, how, what to do - these questions eat from the inside. How to cope with such a painful situation and survive the betrayal of a loved one. You will be surprised, but it is not very difficult. We have prepared for you the best detailed advice a practical psychologist on how to get out of depression, start enjoying life, maintain a relationship with a spouse or part with him. Everyone will find useful information for themselves.

Help to cope with depression:

• Autotraining. This is the base from which it is necessary to begin the restoration of peace of mind. Every day a woman must repeat to herself that life goes on, there are people in the world who love and appreciate her. If you have children, you should remind yourself that they need a healthy and happy mother.
• Chat with friends. They will help distract from sad thoughts, support and comfort, especially if the parents are far away.
• Concentration at work. To think about the unfortunate fate requires free time. Therefore, a good way out is to load yourself with chores so that there is no strength left for the blues.
• A radical change in activity. Complete courses in stylist, web design, florist, etc. Choose what you like best. Mastering a new profession or starting a business requires courage and a huge concentration of attention. There is no time for sadness.
• Journey. One of the most enjoyable ways to deal with depression. New impressions and pleasant emotions will help you realize that there are many reasons to live and even more to be happy.
• Sessions with a psychologist. They provide an opportunity to speak out and get qualified advice.
• new hobby. Most experts recommend changing your image or finding a new hobby. By enrolling in courses foreign language, yoga, cutting and sewing), you can learn something new and meet interesting people.
• Image change. Make a different hairstyle, recolor your hair. Go for a manicure and pedicure.

All this together allows you to recover and get rid of depression much faster than individually.

Psychologist's advice on how to maintain a relationship with a loved one

If a man convicted of treason is ready to abandon relationships on the side and chooses a family, the woman has a chance to save the marriage. In this case it is necessary:

• discuss the situation with your husband in detail;
• find out the causes of betrayal and try to eliminate them;
• develop rules for building intra-family relations;
• learn to trust your loved one (stop checking his mobile and mail, calling).

It is necessary to discuss betrayal without tantrums and scandals, despite the fact that it will be difficult to control emotions. Screaming, mutual insults, insults and accusations will only alienate the spouses and will not help save the marriage. We need to come to a consensus and understand male psychology.

To survive the deceit, remember how much good things happened during the years you lived together, especially if you have been married for twenty years or more.

Most often, men are pushed to change by the desire to assert themselves, the lack of mutual understanding and support at home, the desire to get away from everyday life and the craving for experiments. In the first case, to avoid repeating the situation, it is necessary to give a man compliments, give him the opportunity to be the head of the family. In the second, you should try to be more interested in his activities, create a calm atmosphere at home, support your husband's undertakings, and not throw tantrums and scandals.

Necessary agree on the rules on which family relationships will be built. Psychologists advise a woman, if she decides to stay, not to remind her husband of infidelity at every opportunity, not to play on his guilt and leave this situation in the past. Need to . What we mean by this and how to implement it, read in our other article. You will find a way out even with a child in your arms, you can resume everything or leave forever with dignity.

If a couple has children and grandchildren, then it is advisable to try to spend more time with them in order to appreciate the beauty of a friendly and strong family. It is necessary to try to be together as much as possible, and if there is an opportunity to go on a trip, take advantage of it and arrange a second honeymoon.

If you do not want to destroy the marriage, you need to do everything. We know what kind of woman you have to become, and shared our view in another article on the site.

It is quite reasonable that you may have a desire. Here you will find a ready-to-use plan, a list of what not to do and whether to do it.

Those who decide to retaliate should think 100 times whether this is necessary. Read about everyone here. You will be surprised how many things can happen after that, and mostly bad!

Before surviving adultery, it is necessary. Join our discussion: is it worth it, why does he deserve a second chance, and when is it better to permanently delete a traitor from your life.

How to calmly part with your husband and live after a divorce

If it is not possible to save the marriage after infidelity (the husband preferred a mistress to the family, the wife cannot forgive, the spouses have cooled off towards each other), then it is necessary to try to maintain self-esteem and part in a civilized manner. This is especially necessary if the couple has children who will find it difficult to watch their parents quarrel.

We recommend reading free book Alexei Chernozem "What to do with male infidelity". You will learn why men cheat and leave for their mistresses, how to respond to infidelity in order to save relationships and prevent a recurrence in the future, and also how to survive all this.

The book is free. To download, click here on this link, leave your e-mail and an email will be sent to the mail with a link to the pdf-file.

Some women after a divorce try to turn their children against their father or prevent their meetings. This is the wrong position. For harmonious development, the child needs communication with both parents. Also, children, like sponges, absorb the behavior and attitudes of their parents.

If a couple has been married for 20-30 or more years and the children are already adults, then the daughter may develop a distrustful, suspicious attitude towards men. Therefore, it is necessary to show them that, despite the separation, the parents treat each other with respect and behave with dignity.

If a young woman who has been married for not so many years (up to 5-7 years) faced a divorce, she needs to concentrate on the fact that she has her whole life ahead of her and she will definitely meet the right one, loving boyfriend. Shouldn't be blamed ex-spouse in the fact that the best years of your life were spent on it and that no one needs you anymore! On the contrary, thank your husband for everything experienced together.

If a woman of 40-50 years old faced a divorce, then it is necessary to realize that she has the opportunity to devote more time to herself. You need to understand that now is the time to take up a hobby, discover something new, get to know interesting man and again feel all the charm of falling in love and the candy-bouquet period. And a woman at 40 is just beginning to live!

Listen to what Dr. Kurpatov says on the first channel:

If you are going to continue to live with your husband, forget that he can begin to change again (thoughts are material). And it is very important not to restore, but to build new relationships, you must want this with all the fibers of your soul. For a while you will need to get out of your comfort zone, but you can’t do without it!