Valeria Protasova

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A woman in a relationship rarely remembers about ex man. And even if he remembers, he does not bring these thoughts “to the public” (why tease your man once again?). Men, on the other hand, sometimes allow themselves not only to remember the former, but also constantly tell their new wives about them. Fortunately, there are few such men, but this problem does not disappear from this either.

How to be a woman if her half constantly mentions a former lover?

Why does he remember his ex?

There are not so many reasons:

• He compares you to your ex

You wash the dishes the wrong way, you wipe the dust the wrong way, you bake pancakes the wrong way, and you still can’t remember how many spoons of sugar he pours into his coffee. And she remembered! Such a comparison is clearly not in favor of your relationship. Although, it is quite possible that he is simply tactlessly grumbling, and under these comparisons there is nothing but how to “chop” you into your habits.

• The past won't let him go

I mean, he still loves his ex.

• He's just a braggart

Do not feed some men with bread - let them talk about their exploits. Pat him on the head, scold him for boasting and calm down - this will pass as you grow up. Or it won't.

• Wants you to take pity on him

Not terrible, but not good either. A man who seeks sympathy from his wife about past relationships (“she left me”, “so many years of life down the drain”, “I did so much for her, but she ...”), looks at least strange and not masculine. A real man will never say a bad word about his ex. Even if she was a real bitch and really ditched him best years life. However, a real man he will not talk about the past at all, so as not to accidentally offend his current wife.

• Wants to make you jealous
• He just wants to speak out and throw out to you, as a person he trusts, his pain and resentment.

What should a woman do, how to respond to the constant revelations of a man about his ex?

• First, don't panic

What is the point? If he loves her, then he will go to her anyway, and your task is not to stoop to tantrums and let him go on all 4 sides. Because if he leaves, then this is not your prince on a white horse. And yours is somewhere close (almost jumped). And if he loves you, then there is nothing to worry about.

• Try to figure out why he is telling you about her.

Pay attention - in what context and how exactly?

• If he complains, then he is either a whiner (and this does not bode well for your family), or he hints so "subtly" that you should add salt to soups, meet him in the morning with a cup of coffee, learn to steam the arrows on his trousers, etc. That is, he wants you to change, but cannot say directly.
• If he boasts, talk to him.

Just explain that this is unpleasant for you, and that if you hear the story about his exploits again, then only fish and a ficus in the corner will meet him after work.

• If he wants you to be jealous , explain that such revelations just make you angry, and do not make you want to love him even more.
• If he is tormented by resentment , and revelations about the ex are just a way to get rid of the ghosts of the past, let him talk. But be warned that this is not pleasant for you. If the situation does not change, most likely things are bad, and he loves her too much to forget.
• Don't try to compete with his ex

He is yours anyway. I mean, you've already won. It may well be that your man simply does not shine with tact, and it does not even occur to him that you can be upset by his memories or mentions of the former.

• Don't joke back

Many women laugh it off, trying to negate the desire to quarrel, or not wanting to offend their husband. But men are straight people. If you want to convey something - speak directly, do not play around, do not try to soften the “blow”. If you don’t like these revelations, tell your spouse so. If he loves you, he will draw conclusions. Otherwise, you will become just a "grateful listener" suffering from the fear of "offending" a loved one. And he will get used to it.

• Do not demand from a man that he forget about his ex

First, it's impossible. Secondly, such ultimatums desired result won't give. Relationships are a page of life that cannot be torn out just physically. Especially if the man before you had not just a beloved woman, but a full-fledged family and children (in this case, you will have to put up with the invisible “presence” of his ex in your life).

It doesn’t matter what your ex was for your man. It is important that it is you with him now. Do not wind yourself up for nothing - a simple conversation sometimes solves all problems at once.

Valeria Protasova

Psychologist with experience practical work in social psychology-pedagogy for more than three years. Psychology is my life, my work, my hobby and way of life. I write what I know. I believe that human relationships are important in all spheres of our life.

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Let it on a short time will bring satisfaction, but will drop a man in the eyes of acquaintances.

• It is absolutely excluded to seek solace in alcohol, smoking, drugs.

1.2 What to do About what to do, here are some tips from psychologists:

• First you need to get rid of guilt.
• Now you need to mentally work out the situation, try to understand the cause of the discord, understand that there will be no return to the past, draw a plan for a future life.
• The third stage is practical, difficult. This is a change in oneself, the environment, the situation. Using trainings, you need to cross out the former from your life, find other interests, change plans for the future.
• The last step is meeting a new love. He is the final one.

How to forget the ex-wife you love? practical advice and recommendations

• Invite the kids over for a sleepover so you can spend more time with them without your ex.
• Come to birthdays with gifts, give them, but try not to stay in the old family circle for a long time. Children will not be upset if they have fun without you on their birthday.
• On days when you have planned meetings with children, try to pick them up from school with the permission of the ex or kindergarten, so you will avoid extra minutes with her.
• If you want to avoid contact with your ex-wife when meeting your children, try to wait for them in the car, and not go into the house.

If you follow these simple tips, then you will be able to cross out thoughts about the ex and at the same time not ruin the relationship with your children. How to help a loved one forget his wife Women often face the question of how to help a man forget ex-wife.

How to forget your wife if there are common children

If you feel like thinking about your wife, think, but don't force yourself to forget. Get rid of those things that remind you of your wife. Stop remembering situations with your wife. She's gone, she's gone. · Distract yourself. Dear readers! We will be very grateful if you share with us your life experience or comments related to this topic. This will help: How to forget the former - a step-by-step course for a broken heart You probably constantly mentally ask yourself questions, but how could it be otherwise? Maybe these relationships would have developed differently? Or why did this happen to me? The course is designed for those who want to: forget the girl stop digging into yourself find new love Short description Whether it was a long-term marriage or first love, no matter how impossible it all seems, your soul wound can be healed.

I can not forget my ex-wife and survive the divorce ...

Important

This is very helpful during the recovery period after a divorce. One way to do this is to use visualization techniques on these memories to reduce their effect. For example: - Imagine your bad memories of your ex-wife as a layer of dirt on your body.

While it is on your body, you feel disgust, perhaps even as if someone is crawling on you. I guess that's just how you feel. Now imagine taking a hot shower and erasing all memories from your body. You are clean and the memories are gone. Can you really take a shower? It may seem silly, but your brain, having reproduced the memories, will already see a double picture.

And over time, they will completely disappear. 2) Decreased frequency: Frequency refers to how often you are visited by these thoughts.

How to forget your ex wife?

When children appear, the head of the family, of course, must provide for them too, every year a woman requires more attention and funds, all this complicates the situation in the house. Many men, unable to cope with problems, seek salvation in alcohol, some even in drugs, others in other women, and all this inevitably leads to divorce and the destruction of the family. Even if love has not gone away, the marriage can still be terminated.
And immediately after the divorce, a new wave of problems begins, one of which is how to forget the ex-wife you love. A woman can find a reason in everything if she wants to get a divorce. For example, there are cases when a marriage was terminated because of a car, a beloved pet, and even a broken mug.
Most common causes are, of course, treason, drunkenness, assault.

I can’t forget my ex-wife and I suffer a lot.

The part does the job, allowing the woman to spend as much as her heart desires. The rest receive constant showdowns, insults, humiliation from a cohabitant or wife and her mother. The reason for the divorce due to financial disagreements is unjustifiably blamed on the man.

Many women have forgotten that the words "spouses" originally meant "going in the same harness", "pulling a common cart equally". Quarrels from scratch, disregard for the desires of a partner, inattention are indispensable parts of conflicts that lead to the separation of two. And here the use of alcohol is not a cause, but a consequence.
Reproaches for low earnings are just an excuse to quarrel. The reason is that she does not love this man. But there is no apparent reason to break up just like that. According to the "rules of public opinion" a woman should be an unfortunate victim.

Not everyone can admit that she herself is to blame for the conflict, that she fell out of love with a good person.

How to forget your ex wife if you have a child

Whether you are in your 20s or 60s, life can be filled with joy again, perhaps even more than you experienced before. The only reason you can't be happy again is because you won't let go of the old situation. I'm really glad you did right choice and you want to end the memories of your ex.
This is exactly the solution that will help you recover from the breakup of a relationship. Let's be honest: Breakups are a complex, painful topic. Most people really need spiritual healing after a breakup.

And there's nothing wrong with taking advantage correct methodology ad hoc. I've been in this situation myself, I know what it's like to wake up and think about your ex. How is it to wind yourself up, that she now has a different one, and you are left completely alone.

But he is ashamed to go into his forest - the flock that he betrayed, having left with Riding Hood, will laugh. Therefore, he goes to a nearby forest, where he decides to start a new life: finally try himself as a singer or wrestler. What happens next - the storyteller composes to his taste. It is important that the decision to act is made by him.

Attention

And a good ending (and in fairy tales it is always kind) will definitely develop. Seeing how easy it really is to get out of the situation, if you start acting, a man receives a portion of energy, a push. This is how the principle of fairy tale therapy works. To see what happened from the outside, to outline a plan for further actions - to work out the situation psychologically.

Of course, it is best to play the performance for someone, then the viewer's interest will be warmed up by the storyteller's desire to come up with a creative plot, to find his own solution to the problem. But this method also works alone.
This is not an easy process. But feelings can be lived and left in the past. If you feel powerless and unable to cope with this task now (it happens), seek help from a psychologist. It will get easier very soon. Good luck! Psychologist Tomsk Last visit: 11 days ago Replies on the site: 777 Conducts trainings: 2 Publications: 9 Show contacts Ask a question for free Well, what can I say, yes, your woman is like that.

Now she has chosen another man or chosen another ... Well, yes, you were not the only one, and it hurts to admit it. This takes time and perhaps the help of a specialist psychologist.

What is the history of her seven - it is quite possible that she is co-dependent, since she is chosen dependent (but these are all my assumptions).

How to forget your ex-wife if you have a child and start a new life

Question to the psychologist: Good afternoon! My name is Andrew, I'm 29 years old. I got married very early, I was 22 years old, and my wife was 18. A daughter was born, she is almost 8 years old. We lived all these 7 years with scandals. As a result, a year ago they divorced in April.

The wife applied. The daughter lives with her mother. For a whole summer I suffered and thought about my ex-wife, but I was able to forget her only in September, when I met a girl. Our relationship quickly gained momentum and I no longer remembered my ex-wife at all. But, when the former found out about this, she immediately got in and began to lure me to her place.

At first, I didn’t behave and didn’t pay attention, but the eternal tears, the words, they say I’ll give birth to you also a son, I love you, come back to me played a role and I gave up, leaving my girlfriend behind ... The ex-wife indulged me in everything - in bed, delicious food, beautiful words, and I fell in love with her again and was happy. All this lasted about 3 months.

How to forget your ex wife if you have a child video

Fighting thoughts about your ex-wife There are many methods for improving brain memory, and there are also ways to forget your ex-wife. Imagine that thoughts about the former are dirt that needs to be washed off, because it stains you not only in your eyes, but also in the eyes of your friends, acquaintances, loved ones. After all, you constantly talk about your thoughts, and in a conversation, mentioning the former, you hardly do it in a pleasant tone, rather, in a negative one. In addition, think not only about yourself, but also about those around you: none of your loved ones wants to see you depressed, and constant stories about your ex-spouse is one of the indicators of your bad mood. In order to manage to cross out thoughts about your ex-wife, you need to reduce their intensity, frequency, and then completely stop. Intensity The more you remember the good times with your ex-wife, the more you suffer.

How to forget your ex-wife if you have a child and start

You should not swear with your loved one about this: he, most likely, will simply hide communication with her from you. It is better to talk to his ex-wife to resolve this issue. It happens that the “rival” not only communicates with a man, but also invites him to visit her, demands money and help. In this case, just ask for more attention so that your man doesn’t have time for her, but the main thing here is not to overdo it, so that in the end he doesn’t choose her between you and her. In any case, every man can cope with thoughts about his ex-wife, he just needs to remember the negative consequences that they lead to. If a person himself wants to get rid of thoughts, he will live happy and full life when all the memories of marriage will remain only in the past. The main thing is not to seek solace in alcohol and drugs, because.

Some can forgive the wife's infidelity, draw conclusions, work on relationships and live on in peace and harmony. For others, life after the betrayal of a wife is filled with self-flagellation, distrust of the female sex, conversations with friends in the style of "all women are the same" and heartache. How to forget the betrayal of his wife, get rid of painful experiences and live happily?

First of all, it should be taken into account that thoughts of revenge on an opponent or a betraying spouse harm you first of all. Remember that prolonging your own suffering with destructive fantasies about the details of infidelity, the constant search for reasons in yourself only takes away the opportunity for you to live happily. The past cannot be changed, but making plans is just within the power.

According to surveys, the situation when a wife cheated on her lawful spouse ranks third in the rating of personal tragedies of modern men. More painful than her, the representatives of the stronger sex can only be hurt by the death of their own child, their own parents and other very close people.

At the same time, statistics confirm that about 15% of divorces a year occur at the initiative of a man if his wife has cheated. In addition, many couples separate without legal formalization, which is not reflected in the official statistics. You are not alone, hundreds of couples have gone through this, experiencing the same shock, disappointment, anger, contempt, apathy. This is a normal first reaction to a traumatic situation. But a long stay in such a state is dangerous.

Intoxication with one's own guilt, concentration on suffering, anger, resentment, the desire to punish the offender drives one into a dead end. Take a break. Distance and time will help you deal with your own emotions and make the right decision.

Is it worth keeping a family?

The practice of a psychologist experienced person with twenty-five years of experience shows that in 80% of cases of female infidelity, the spouses decided to keep the relationship if there were common children in the marriage. In most cases, such alliances still collapsed within a period of up to five years. The following factors contributed to this:

1. A woman can continue her adventures on the side, knowing that her husband will forgive, endure, accept back.
2. She turns out to be pregnant from another or had abortions.
3. She refuses to have children, which increases doubts about the sincerity of her love confessions.
4. A common child will support his father, show empathy, push him to the final decision and follow him.
5. The influence of relatives, criticism by friends of the "softness" of the spouse to the betrayed wife.
6. Deterioration of the financial situation of the husband or, conversely, an increase in the income of the spouse.
7. Passion for alcohol, drugs, constant reproaches for past mistakes, frequent family scandals.
8. The desire to answer in a mirror, male treason.

When making such an important decision, one should take into account not only the interests of the children, but also the possibility, the mutual desire of the spouses to maintain the union, the willingness to work on relationships. A conflict family environment can do more harm to a child's psyche than positive communication between divorced spouses. Sometimes the relationship is smoothed out by the birth of another common child.

The psychologist's advice on forgiving a wife's infidelity is as follows: the preservation of the family does not mean humility. Trying to connect with a lady who does not have respect, does not appreciate, is impossible. A quick reaction in the form of a divorce application is the way for a lady to understand the depth and real threat to marriage from her actions. Will begin to respect your integrity, determination, appreciate more. Scandals, reproaches and demonstrative grief cannot achieve such an effect. It is respect for the husband that becomes the basis for reconciliation, the preservation of the family. An application for divorce, according to Andrey Zberovsky, automatically puts a legal and psychological barrier in front of the couple. Pushes to the realization of the need to assess the seriousness of the claims expressed, the readiness of partners to eliminate the identified contradictions. The fact of filing an application does not deprive the couple of the opportunity to work on improving the relationship.

Relationships after cheating

1. We don't remember the past.
2. We speak and discuss openly all the issues of concern. Everyone has their own "picture of the world", life experience, a certain type of thinking. We perceive the information received in different ways, putting our own meanings into the actions and words of the partner. Often this is behind main reason misunderstandings, conflicts, quarrels.
3. Everyone has the right to express an assessment of the actions of a partner, even a negative one. The second half is obliged to take into account the opinion of the spouse and draw conclusions. It is best to use the following wording: "I may not like your decision, action, but my love for you does not depend on this."
4. No more swearing. If there is a desire to say harshness, to offend a partner, we are silent.
5. Add to family life more humor, affectionate nicknames and the rule of sincere compliments and praise even for little things. It's not easy to swear, calling your partner an affectionate nickname, right? The quarrel instantly takes on a comic connotation.

Come up with your rituals of seeing off and meetings from work, family traditions that unite and inspire both.

What should I do if I can't forget the betrayal? Sometimes it is difficult for a man to restore trust in a betrayed lover, accept her again and forgive. In this case, you should visit a psychotherapist, to understand the true causes of discomfort, fear. Indeed, the basis of suffering lies in ourselves.

It has been noted that the intensity of suffering due to betrayal depends on the degree of responsibility for our own fate we managed to hand over to an unreliable companion. It is much easier to betray a psychologically helpless person than a confident, independent partner.

Consideration should be given to some important nuances communication after betrayal.

1. Don't show your spouse's importance to you. Temporarily put her on a "diet" of hot sex and cold attitudes. This is necessary to redefine you as a partner.
2. Learn to be categorical. Get up and leave in time, if it is a matter of principle. Do not forget to talk about the unacceptable attitude towards you, which you will not tolerate.
3. Some advisers recommend provoking a lady to jealousy. This is purely individual, far from a universal recipe. But you should not go too far, responding with adventures to the infidelity of your beloved. Appreciate yourself.
4. If you've made the decision to end your breakup, stay firm. Throwing, doubts only complicate life.

If you decide to leave...

How to forget your wife, give yourself another chance to build a happy future? Is there life after betrayal? Eat. Moreover, you have everything you need to make it interesting, full of vivid impressions. Engage in self-development, find a business that inspires, fills you with energy, enthusiasm, passion for life. May every day be an exciting journey. Make new friends with an active lifestyle.

It is known that the environment strongly influences a person. Intimate circle of people is a powerful influencer and a good source of information, motivation and support. Psychology calls this the “rule of the mirror.” We choose as friends people who are close in worldview, life position, goals, hobbies, habits. This is a comfortable environment, but if this circle does not change, a person stops in personal growth.

Research proves that the level of income of an individual is always close to the average indicator of the financial well-being of people from his environment. It is explained simply. Let's give an example. An inspired, determined person wants to change his life. He begins to think positively, outlines the right paths for development, looks for interesting ideas. But his chances of success are reduced, because every evening, despite the determination and efforts made, he is forced to return to people who do not believe in his potential.

It can be friends, parents, colleagues, lovers of labeling “all women are the same, you can’t find a normal one, look at yourself.” Generous in criticism, negative assessments, ridicule, exaggerated doubts about success, they awaken former fears of facing failure. "Toxic people" have a detrimental effect on self-esteem, self-confidence, and your own opinion, so limit, clear your space of negative, destructive people.

Don't try to block out the feelings. You have the right to resentment, anger and even contempt, this is a normal reaction. If emotional trauma is not treated, unlived pain will periodically remind of itself with pathological jealousy in future relationships, lack of sexual desire, and causeless resentment. Pain is always a signal that help is needed.

We start a new life

There is an effective way to survive the betrayal of his wife and maintain composure, cope with emotions. Write a letter. This technique is effective for parting, loss, resentment, guilt. Helps to let go of the emotions that cause discomfort, realize feelings, cope with fears and takes only fifteen minutes. Focus on feelings, form an image of the offender. Write, addressing him, whatever you want to say. Without censorship, self-control, restrictions. Ultimatums, accusations, reproaches, even obscene language are allowed. The main thing is to express feelings.

The more you open up, the more effective this psychological technique will be. Concentrate on the addressee, do not go into reflection, this is not a philosophical treatise, but a tough but honest conversation. It is necessary to "breathe" all the negativity, pain, anger, resentment into a sheet of paper. When you realize that there is nothing more to say, reread your text. As many times as needed, until the emotions subside, lose their strength, sharpness.

Now destroy the message. Burn, tear into hundreds of small pieces, get rid of unnecessary feelings, free yourself. As an option for those who “do not trust paper”, psychologist Sergey Smirnov recommends doing the technique in the pronunciation variant. Ensure peace, non-interference of strangers, distractions.

Concentrate on the object of resentment. You can use a photograph, an object belonging to an unfaithful spouse. Say whatever is necessary and discard the “guilty” subject, and with it the disturbing feelings, disappointment and resentment.

Stop analyzing your wife's behavior. Often our actions are completely devoid of common sense, rationality. Given the female tendency to succumb to emotions, impulsiveness, the desire to plunge headlong into her own illusions, the basis for adultery may well be hiding in the lady's internal disharmony.

Your task is to live on in full awareness of your own value, dignity and right to happiness. Read books, watch movies about people who, having experienced betrayal loved one, deep mental trauma, managed to recover and achieve success.

Where something is destroyed, there is always room for something new to be created. This is the unchanging law of life. Infidelity forever destroys the former world of a person, but makes it possible to create a qualitatively new one. — psychologist Kristina Kudryavtseva

You have the right to be happy! Start a new chapter of your novel with a clean slate.

Life is turned upside down, the usual way of life collapses! It's scary to plan for the future, it hurts to make plans. It is especially difficult when parting is not a mutual decision. How to forget the wife you love when everything around her reminds you?

At the time of leaving, it is difficult to analyze, to understand the reasons. There is no point in blaming anyone for what happened. Even if the beloved is gone, changed. She said a lot of bad words in the end. Don't get bogged down with useless questions. Remember where the mistake was made. Imagine her in bed with another.

You can not use common children as a means of pressure, an object of extracting information about a spouse. There are situations when a child painfully recalls the past, causing pain and suffering. A caring father realizes that feelings will subside, emotions will pass. It is necessary to understand how to quickly forget the ex-wife, look for ways to protect the vulnerable heart of the child.

How to forget your wife and start a new life

To start a new life, the first thing to do is end the old one forever. In one go! Every impulse nervous system, a convolution in the head, a cell of the body must realize that it will not be the same as before. Many years of marriage, joint trips, common photo albums, a video recording of a wedding celebration - it was a wonderful time, no one takes it away. It's good that it was. It's over. They remember him, but do not try to return him. This is the road to nowhere.

How can a man forget his ex-wife if time has passed, but the pain remains? You can't start a new chapter without a lock on the previous one. It doesn't hurt to take a step back, to find the beginning of the end.

Signs of betrayal

When time passes slowly, people relax. They don't see the obvious. Ignore the signs of the imminent end. To such a guy, a breakup announcement feels like a knife in the back. If he were more attentive to his wife, he could replace the changes. Avoid a situation where you do not know how to forget your ex-wife after a divorce.

Alarms:

• frequent delays;
• change in sexual behavior;
• avoiding tactile, eye contact in bed;
• unwillingness to have sex;
• cooling communication;
• constant monitoring of the mobile phone;
• regular evenings with girlfriends, shopping without a husband;
• overnight stays away from home;
• after coming home, she immediately takes a shower;
• strange behavior towards a colleague, acquaintance, friend.

A smart move for a guy who realizes that his spouse is cheating is to report a guess. Conversation with a girl without scandal. It will be easier to quickly forget your wife after a divorce if you become the initiator. Experiences about the collapse of family happiness will remain, the feeling of betrayal will be weaker. Dignity, awareness of decisiveness will be preserved. The banal resentment of an abandoned person is excluded.

Reasons for the breakup of a marriage

Sometimes the reason lies at the base of the union. When the wrong person is initially chosen. Marriages are often entered into thoughtlessly. When there is only crazy sex, emotions. After a while, feelings cool down, the spouse is disappointed in the satellite. It turns out that he is financially unstable, a slob at home, inattentive, and abusing alcohol. Children can hold the union for a while.

In order for a man to forget his ex-wife, he must understand that the reason is not in him. He is not a loser, mattress, deadhead. He chose a companion who interferes with development, does not motivate for exploits, does not support morally. And at home it doesn’t build a cozy nest, it doesn’t create a reliable rear. A place where you want to return. That's why the guy doesn't shine financial success, does not perform feats in bed. For a woman who understands, supports, mountains will turn over.

Why is the woman leaving?

There are two main reasons:

1. Dissatisfaction with sex. If a woman is dissatisfied with the intimate side of life, does not experience an orgasm, she will satisfy the need on the side. Partners without chemistry, do not experience intimacy, a sense of common unity.
2. Financial difficulties. The girl is looking for a partner who will give stability. A strong, confident defender who will provide for the family. When the husband is lying on the couch, drinking beer, complaining about unemployment, the wife is disappointed. Laziness can destroy a talented person. It should be understood that not only the guy is to blame for the problems. The gap is due to both members of the union. In sex, there is the concept of incompatibility. Financial difficulties often arise because of a woman. If she does not motivate her beloved, does not support, accuses her of failure, makes fun of failures, she herself provokes her husband to passive behavior. It becomes an indirect cause of alcohol addiction, lack of desire to look for work, to develop.
3. Character incompatibility. This reason is rarely voiced, because it does not lie on the surface. Derived from the original wrong choice partner. It is difficult to admit that the marriage was not real, happy. If people do not feel each other, they do not understand emotions, they can easily hurt feelings. Not able to support, comfort, reassure. Over time, the problem inevitably leads to a break.

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How to help a man forget his ex-wife?

The main advice that is given to an abandoned man is to take care of himself. Fix bugs, fix bugs. Earn money, remove bad habits, develop sexual skill.

It is important to understand the mindsets. There is a technique that helps eliminate treacherous thoughts. In accordance with it, the moment is established when love for a spouse turned into a painful attachment. When he got it into his head that a girl is as necessary as air.

Persuasion needs to be analyzed, rethought. Try to remember the key joint events, take a detached look. Through the eyes of an outsider. Recognize the ordinary.

At the next stage, the attitude towards the spouse is rethought. She is no longer close, dear half. To a stranger, people do not experience dependent emotions. Their problems are forgotten in a minute. They wish you a good day, joke about the weather on duty. Strangers - colleagues, neighbors, a kindergarten teacher, an unfamiliar grandfather on a bench. The fate of these people does not excite strangers. Are they going through a breakup, deserve a promotion at work.

The ex-wife goes into this social category. Her personal life, successes, failures should not be of interest. This is how addiction works. Please note that joint children are not subject to sanctions. Nobody divorced them. They are still relatives, loved ones, even if they stayed to live with their spouse.

Getting started with settings is painful. It hurts to remember, realizing that everything is over. The list or letter method helps a lot. They write out on paper in a column or in the form of a confession:

• vision for future activities;
• past mistakes;
• why this woman was chosen as a wife;
• were there any “bells”, situations in which it is clear that a person is not suitable. Problems in sexual life, lack of common interests, understatement;
• the reasons that prompted the spouse to leave;

You need to realize that the husband himself pushed the girl away. Accept this fact, do not blame yourself. This therapy allows you to visually see the errors. Designate behavior in the future with a new companion.

To quickly forget a wife after a divorce, a visualization method is used. First you need to relax. Clear your mind of thoughts. Present photographs of the past. Get to the present moment. Continue to imagine in photographs the destruction of attachment. See the fix.

It would be useful to see the current situation through the prism of pluses and minuses. On paper, divided into two parts, write out the positive and negative points of parting:

Approximate example:

• lack of regular sex;
• children live separately;
• property division;
• absence of an evening interlocutor;

• eating without a knife, fork, ceremonies;
• you don’t have to pick it up after work, from the other end of the city;
• the annual marathon of growing potatoes in the mother-in-law's garden will end;
• buying an expensive game console;

Download right now for FREE an audio program that was developed especially for you by hypnotherapist Vlad Pozier, which has a powerful effect on the deep structures of your personality, eliminates forever the emotional charge from past unsuccessful relationships and helps you forget your beloved boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife forever.

It's good to have friends and family who support you. Giving smart advice on how to forget your wife after a divorce is not necessary. It is enough to be around, try to distract, offer ways to switch. Sign up for a sports section together, go fishing, go on a multi-day hike. Go to night club, from the heart to skip half the salary. Show your friend ways to experience happiness. To force to see that it is possible without a wife.

Gradually, emotions will subside. Love will go away, the desire to live on will come. Memories stop hurting. People who managed to suppress addiction in a past life successfully build new families. Advanced people calmly communicate with the former. It's great when common children are small.

For children, divorce is a trauma at any age. The world frightened by the unknown. Only at home do they feel calm. When this stronghold collapses, it becomes scary to live. Often adults are afraid of marriage because of the memories of the breakup of their parents. Psychological trauma is hard to overcome on your own. If parents have found the strength to formalize the gap with dignity, without disgusting scenes, they calmly communicate - this best gift children.

When the divorce is over and the guy begins to look at other women, he must remember the previous mistakes. It is foolish to step on a familiar rake. Deciding on a serious step, getting married, having children, is necessary after a thorough study of the passion. Live together, go on vacation, get a joint loan, start repairs. Look at it in different situations. Find a man who will be a support, support. With which any sea is knee-deep.

Vlad Pozier | Relationship Psychologist

Practicing psychologist with extensive experience in the field love relationships between a man and a woman will help you see and reveal attractive to the opposite sex personal qualities and use them when meeting and communicating with people you like.

In the course of individual conversations with Vladimir Sokolov, you will not only get rid of complexes, but will also be able to build new lines of your behavior. Under the sensitive accompaniment of this specialist, hundreds of people were able to realize the value of real relationships and get rid of the burden of past grievances and addictions.

The results of close communication with a psychologist will not make you wait long, as he is a professional in his field, masterfully mastering hypnotechniques and advanced psychotherapeutic techniques

Question to the psychologist:

Good afternoon My name is Andrew, I'm 29 years old. I got married very early, I was 22 years old, and my wife was 18. A daughter was born, she is almost 8 years old. We lived all these 7 years with scandals. As a result, a year ago they divorced in April. The wife applied. The daughter lives with her mother. For a whole summer I suffered and thought about my ex-wife, but I was able to forget her only in September, when I met a girl. Our relationship quickly gained momentum and I no longer remembered my ex-wife at all. But, when the former found out about this, she immediately got in and began to lure me to her place. At first, I was not led and did not pay attention, but the eternal tears, the words, they say I will give birth to you also a son, I love you, come back to me played their role and I gave up, leaving my girlfriend behind ... The ex-wife pleased me in everything - in bed, delicious food, beautiful words, and I fell in love with her again and was happy. All this lasted about 3 months. And when my wife found out that I had completely become hers again, she stupidly dumped me, and as far as I know, she went to her employee. You understand, she was with me and corresponded with another!!! I fell into a severe depression. It happened a month and a half ago. I began to pour alcohol into my grief, I drank for about two weeks, but it didn’t get any easier. I pulled myself together and stopped, but it got even worse, thoughts are crushing and my soul is torn to pieces. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat, I moved in with my parents, but it still doesn’t help. Friends say forget it and let's go to drink, but it doesn’t climb already, and the parents will only be upset once again. I call my daughter, she says that her mother comes late and her daughter falls asleep alone, her heart bleeds, I can’t forget everything, it’s very bad. I’m lying on the bed for days, degrading, the robot doesn’t work, everything falls out of my hands, I completely closed myself in myself, it hurts and it’s very sickening. I wanted to switch to a new girl, but there is no one. I went out a couple of times with friends to rest, but I can’t be in society for a long time and leave almost immediately, everything is enraged. I don’t know ... I switched to sports, but I also can’t for 2-3 days, it doesn’t work somehow. He even sank to the point that he caused a prostitute, but this also did not let him go. Why did she do this... I don't know what to do now, my nerves are already out of whack... Very bad, very... I would really like to hear your opinion about everything that is happening. I would like to add that I did not cheat in marriage and did not notice this for my wife either, since she was always with me ... We worked together. And when she changed jobs, I had acquaintances and I knew everything there ... And there were family quarrels, that no one could ever give in to another, they quarreled and proved their point of view. Thanks in advance for your reply!

The psychologist Fedorova (Pyatrina) Ekaterina Petrovna answers the question.

Hello Andrei. You are having a hard time breaking up. Parting is always hard, it is the loss of what was dear, of someone who was dear. It is especially difficult for you because you have experienced loss twice. You were given hope for the restoration of relations and deceived. You are probably very angry with your spouse or yourself, maybe you blame her or feel guilty. From one post it is very difficult to understand what range of feelings you are experiencing. But in any case, it affects you destructively. You poison yourself with alcohol, starve yourself, and keep yourself awake. And you can not understand why this is happening, and when it will end.

You did the right thing when you gave up alcohol, because it only dulls the pain, and sometimes exacerbates it. It does not solve the problem, only adds new ones.

You are looking for ways to distract, switch, escape from experiences. But you need to live this experience, to understand it.

You need time to process your emotions, to process your loss. You need to be able to forgive your ex-spouse and yourself. Accept all the good that was in your relationship, let it go and learn to live new life without your ex-wife. This is a long work, most likely you can not do without the help of a psychologist.